


Full Circle

by Caskett1960



Category: Castle (TV 2009)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:48:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 64,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27424486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caskett1960/pseuds/Caskett1960
Summary: Beckett and Castle receive shocking news after their near-deaths at the hand of Caleb Brown. Post 8x22 'Crossifre.'
Relationships: Kate Beckett & Richard Castle
Kudos: 13





	1. Prologue

**DISCLAIMERS: 'Castle' is the property of ABC Studios and Milmar Productions. No copyright infringement is intended. The story is the property of the author and may not be archived without her permission.**

**TITLE: Full Circle**

**RATING: T**

**SETTING: May 2016 – December 2016**

**SUMMARY: Post-Crossfire. Castle and Kate receive shocking news in the aftermath of the loft shooting.**

**A/N #1: I've been trying to get back on track with my writing. I wondered if Kate was pregnant at the end of 'Crossfire,' or if Lily was conceived a little later. I know that I covered Kate's pregnancy with Lily in 'Forgetting,' but the nice thing about being a writer is the ability to change the narrative.**

**FULL CIRCLE**

**PROLOGUE—A Happy Ending**

_December 23, 2016 – 2:45 a.m._

Kate could hardly breathe, staring down at her newborn daughter. Lily Johanna Castle was barely an hour old, and Kate was totally enraptured with her. She remembered what Castle had told her a couple of years before regarding the very first time he'd ever held Alexis. He had described it as being struck by lightning. Kate had never truly understood what he meant until now.

She didn't remember the hours spent in labor. The only thing Kate could remember now were the angry howls of Lily when she emerged, wet and slippery, from her body. She and Castle had both laughed and cried tears of joy over that most welcome of sounds.

Castle had stepped from the room while Kate's nurse had changed her bed and made her comfortable. Now she was anxious for him to return and bond with their baby girl. The past several months had been hell. But delivering Lily, safe and sound, had made those months worthwhile.

Lily was nothing short of perfect. Ten fingers, ten toes, and everything else in the right number and where it was supposed to be. Caleb Brown's evil hadn't marred her after all. That had been Kate's biggest fear from the moment she had learned that she was expecting. The news had come two days after she and Castle had almost died in their home. It had taken her days to come to terms with the fact that she had almost lost their unborn child. She hadn't even suspected that she was pregnant.

She looked up from staring at Lily when she heard the door open. She smiled at Castle's beaming face. "Hey," she continued smiling when he entered the room.

"How is she?" He came over to the bed, continuing to smile down at his wife and soundly sleeping daughter.

"She's perfect. She's so quiet."

"She's quiet now," Castle carefully settled in beside Kate. "There was nothing quiet about her earlier."

"It was safe in there. I don't blame her for not wanting to come out."

"We'll keep her safe, Kate. We fought too hard to get her here."

"We've got our very own Christmas baby, Castle. Would you like to hold her?"

Kate held Lily out to him, smiling when he scooped Lily into his huge hands, before cradling her to his chest. "Did you do a complete inspection?"

"Yeah. She's perfect. Am I forgiven for being so paranoid?"

"Absolutely," he leaned toward her, softly kissing her.

"You were right."

"About what?"

"It does feel like being struck by lightning. You told me that about Alexis. Do you remember?"

"I do remember that. And it just gets better."

"I already love being a mom, Castle. Thank you."

"For what?"

"For Lily. For making us a real family."

"Always."

Resting her head on Castle's shoulder, Kate found it hard to believe that this beautiful, peaceful moment was almost shattered by violence and gunfire just seven months before.

**A/N #2: I will be posting each chapter on Monday. For those of you who hated Season 8, I apologize. There will be mentions of LokSat, but I will try to keep these to a minimum.**

**Follow me:**

**Facebook: Wylie.Cindy@Yahoo.com**


	2. Precursor to Tragedy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castle and Beckett are attacked in their home after closing out the LokSat investigation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimers: 'Castle' is the property of Andrew Marlowe and ABC Studios. No copyright infringement is intended. The story is the property of the author and may not be archived without my permission.  
> A/N #1: This chapter will contain dialogue from episode 8x22, 'Crossfire.'  
> A/N #2: I want to give a huge shoutout to all of the people who reviewed the previous chapter. And I also want to give a warm welcome to all of my new followers. It feels great to be back.

** FULL CIRCLE **

** Chapter 1: Precursor to Tragedy **

_ May 16th, 2016 – 7 a.m. _

"Vikram, are you coming?" Kevin Ryan asked the tech analyst, who was speaking with Kate Beckett.

"It's seven o'clock in the morning," the young man pointed out.

"Hey, it's New York," Javier Esposito called out.

"True. Yeah, I'm coming. I'll see you tomorrow, Captain," he smiled at Kate before walking over to the elevators where he joined up with Ryan, Esposito, Hayley Shipton, and Lanie Parish.

"Good work, Vikram," Kate called out to him as she watched the elevator doors open and swallow up the five of them.

She then looked over at her husband, who was chatting happily with his mother and daughter. It had been a long night; an even longer eight months taking down a CIA operative known as LokSat. The news programs were talking non-stop about how the whole operation had been taken down the night before in a nondescript office building in downtown Manhattan.

"Katherine," Martha Rodgers smiled at her daughter-in-law, "I'm so thankful that you and Richard are all right. So, what are the two of you going to do now that you have managed to vanquish evil once again?"

"Oh, I don't know," Kate smiled at Castle. "We were talking a couple of months ago about Paris. After everything that happened last night, Paris sounds really good right now."

"I'll make reservations the second that we get home," Castle reached out and took her hand.

"I'm going to go to the P.I. office and straighten up there. Then I'll probably come home and get a few hours of sleep," Alexis informed them.

"And I'm going to go home myself and get some sleep. I have a class later this afternoon. Richard, I'll talk to you this evening," Martha kissed first her son, and then Kate. "Be careful going home."

"Mother, we took down the bad guys. Remember?"

"Knowing you two, there's always another bad guy lurking. Goodnight."

***CCC***

_ Castle and Beckett's loft _

Castle unlocked the front door of the loft half an hour later, leading his wife in by the hand. "I feel like I could sleep for a week," Kate sighed, watching Castle shut the door behind them.

"How about I fix us some breakfast first before we go into hibernation?" He began walking toward the kitchen as Kate turned the other way toward their bedroom.

"Why don't we order in instead?" She suggested, stopping in their bedroom doorway.

"I like cooking for you," he grinned at her.

"And I like it when you cook for me," she swayed her hips suggestively before disappearing into the bedroom.

Moments later, Kate was sitting on the end of hers' and Castle's bed, removing her shoes, when she heard a thud. She was about to call out to Castle to see if he was all right when she heard a voice. A voice that sounded familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. When she realized whose voice it was that she was hearing, she knew that there had to be some kind of a mistake.

Hearing the voice sent her cops' gut feeling into overdrive. She got up and padded over to the gun safe in the corner of their bedroom and quickly punched in the code. Once it opened, she removed her off-duty Glock from inside and stuck it behind her. Only then did she allow herself to venture out into the unknown to see what was going on.

What she saw filled her with fear and horror. There was no way that she could be seeing the person that she was looking at. Was it real or was her imagination playing horrible tricks on her?

_ The Old Haunt _

"Anyway, I was getting ready to pull this stake out of the dead guy's chest and Castle comes running in, all hysterical," Lanie was telling the story of Matthew Freeman. "He yells at me not to pull the stake out in case the guy is a real vampire. I told him if he was, then we could all go home early."

"A vampire? Really?" Hayley wiped tears of laughter from her cheeks.

"Oh, that's nothing. Another time we had a zombie," Ryan reported.

"Life with Castle and Beckett is a lot of things, but it is _never_ boring," Lanie finished her drink and signaled to Brian, the bartender, for another.

"We were lucky guys," Vikram said. "With LokSat, I mean. If you guys hadn't found Castle when you did—"

"Don't go there, bro," Espo warned. It was at that moment that his cellphone rang. "It's the Twelfth. Please tell me they don't want more interviews." He pressed 'answer' on his phone. "Esposito. What? When? Yeah, we're on our way." He ended the call and looked at the group at the table, hanging on his every word. "Dispatch took a call from someone at Castle's building. They reported shots fired coming from Castle and Beckett's apartment." He found Beckett's number in his contact list and pressed it. "Come on, Beckett. Answer your phone. It's going straight to voicemail."

"Try Castle," Ryan instructed, ignoring Espo's look of irritation.

"His phone is going to voicemail, too. Let me see if Alexis was there."

"Oh, god," Hayley buried her head in her hands.

_ At the P.I. office _

Alexis was straightening the office when her cellphone rang. "Hey, Espo. What's going on?"

"Alexis, are you at home?"

"No, I came by the P.I. office. I figured my dad and Kate would want some privacy, if you know what I mean. Why?"

"Alexis, dispatch received a call from your dad's building. They said they heard shots. We're on our way over there."

"I'll meet you there."

"No, Alexis! Wait to hear from me!"

"No!" She argued back. "I'll meet you there."

"Alexis, if someone targeted your dad and Kate, you or your grandmother could be next! Stay where you are! I'll send someone for you as soon as I know what's going on."

"Javier, please tell me they're okay."

"Alexis, I don't know. They aren't answering their phones. Promise you'll stay at the P.I. office."

_ At the loft _

When Ryan and Esposito arrived in their unmarked, followed by Lanie, Hayley, and Vikram, blue lights from emergency vehicles were already blocking the street. Flashing their badges, the boys ran past uniformed officers, followed closely by Lanie, Hayley, and Vikram. Bypassing the elevator for the stairs, they ran the four floors up to the loft.

Rounding the corner to the loft, they saw where crime scene tape had already been stretched across the front doorway. "Shit!" Espo exclaimed when they entered the apartment and saw EMT's working on both Castle and Beckett. "What happened?" He asked one of the ESU techs.

"Dispatch received a call at 7:42 from a neighbor saying that they had heard three or four shots coming from this residence. When we entered, we found the victims laying on the kitchen floor and that guy," he pointed to the far wall," laying there. It looks like he ambushed Castle, and then he engaged Beckett when she came out of the bedroom."

"No, it can't be," Ryan walked over to the dead guy. "Javi, this is Caleb Brown."

"Oh my god!" Lanie shouted from the doorway. "Are they alive?"

"Yes," one of the EMT's replied, "but we need to get them out of here."

Espo's cellphone rang. "Esposito. What? Damn it! I told her to wait at the P.I. office!" He hung up and looked at his partner and Lanie. "Alexis is here. She's on her way upstairs now. Security couldn't stop her."

"I'll get her," Lanie walked out, ducking under the crime scene tape just as Alexis rounded the corner from the elevator. "Alexis, sweetie. You don't want to go in there. You need to let them work."

"No, no, no," Alexis shook her head. "Lanie, are they—"

"No, but it's bad. They're getting ready to transport them now."

"I need to ride with my dad."

"I know, sweetie. Just give them room."

"What happened?"

"We don't know."

"Who shot them? I thought it was over."

"Alexis, we don't know how, but it was Caleb Brown."

"No, that's impossible. Caleb Brown was dead. They were investigating his murder. There has to be a mistake."

"We're going to figure it out."

"I need to call Gram. If there are more of them out there, she could be next," Alexis started to call her grandmother, but Lanie grabbed her wrist. "Lanie, what're you doing? My grandmother could be in danger!"

"Alexis, you can call her and Kate's father. But let's go to the hospital first. Javi or Kevin can call someone to pick them up."

"Coming through!" One of the EMT's shouted.

"This is Mr. Castle's daughter. Can she ride with you?" Lanie asked.

"So long as she stays out of our way."

"Go with your dad, sweetie. We'll be right behind you."

"Lanie, are you riding with Kate?" Espo asked.

"Yes."

"Kevin and I will be right behind you. If she wakes up and says anything, make sure to write it down."

"Javi, Alexis is worried about Martha. What if someone else is out there besides Caleb Brown? Castle said last night that Mason Wood told him that they were going to eliminate everybody who knew about LokSat. What if that threat is still real?"

"I'll call Chief Gates. One of us will swing by Mrs. R's place and pick her up."

"And Jim Beckett?"

"We'll get him, too."

***CCC***

Sitting at the end of her father's gurney, Alexis watched anxiously while the EMT worked on Castle. She'd never seen him so ghostly white, not even after he'd been poisoned in DC. "Is he going to be all right?"

"The bullet went straight through, but he's lost a lot of blood. He's stable for the time being."

"Dad? It's me. It's Alexis. Can you hear me? I love you."

In the back of the other bus that was racing toward the nearest Level One Trauma Center, Lanie was holding on for dear life. The driver was cutting through traffic like he was on the track at Indianapolis. But while she held on, she kept an expert eye on the monitors that were recording Kate's vital signs. She didn't like what she was seeing. It was far worse than the morning in the cemetery. "Did you find any exit wounds?" She asked the EMT.

"No."

"Kate, you didn't die on me then. You sure as hell aren't going to die on me this time," Lanie said through clenched teeth.

The bus screeched to a stop in the ambulance bay and the back doors flew opened. Lanie managed to jump out of the way before several hands were pulling Kate's gurney from the back of the ambulance and running inside, the EMT giving the ER staff Kate's information as he ran. "Thirty-six-year-old female. Two gunshot wounds. One to the left upper chest and the second to the right lower quadrant. No exit wounds. Her BP is 90 over 45 and tachy. Pulse is 40 and weak."

"What is her name?" The doctor asked Lanie.

"Kate. Kate Beckett . . . uh, Castle."

"Okay! Take her to one and page OR!"

"There's another bus on the way with her husband."

"We've already got two set up."

The doors swung open and the second EMT's came in with Castle. "Forty-seven-year-old male. One gunshot wound to the upper chest, through and through. His blood pressure in 100 over 65. Pulse rate is 60."

"Take him to two. OR has been paged for both patients," the first doctor said before disappearing into the first trauma room with Kate, where he began barking out orders. "Get me a portable chest and abdominal series, Stat!" He took out a pen light and flashed it in Kate's eyes. "Her pupils are equal and reactive. Kate? Kate? Can you hear me? My name is Dr. Davila."

After setting up the portable x-ray, the doctor turned it on, quickly finding the two bullets, but discovering something else, too. "Notify the O.R. that Mrs. Castle is pregnant. Is there any sign of hemorrhaging?"

"No, doctor," another nurse answered.

Next door, another doctor was shining a light into Castle's eyes. Castle began thrashing on the table. "Mr. Castle, my name is Dr. Williams! Can you tell me where you are?"

"Hos . . . hospital," Castle managed to choke out the words. "Kate? My wife?"

"She's next door. They're taking good care of her. We're going to get you fixed up, Mr. Castle."

***CCC***

Ryan called Martha on his cell phone while Esposito drove to her apartment. The phone rang three times before Martha answered, sounding very groggy. "Mrs. R? I'm sorry to wake you. It's Kevin Ryan. Esposito and I are on our way to your apartment right now."

"Kevin, what's wrong? Has something happened to Richard?"

"Martha, he was shot. So was Beckett."

"Oh my god!"

"Tell her we'll be there in five minutes!" Espo shouted.

"I'll meet you out front."

"No! Martha, stay where you are. We'll come to you. Don't open the door to anybody until we arrive."

"Does this have anything to do with last night?"

"We'll explain everything when we get there."

***CCC***

Alexis, Lanie, Hayley, and Vikram were pacing the area outside of the trauma rooms, waiting for Ryan and Esposito to get there with Martha. Ryan had called Alexis and told her that they had picked her grandmother up at her apartment and were on their way. He had also told Alexis that they'd been unable to reach Jim Beckett. He wasn't answering his phone.

"Do you know where his law office is?" Hayley asked Alexis, who shook her head. "Would the information be on Beckett's phone?"

"Probably. But I don't know if they'll give her personal effects to me."

"Let me try," Hayley walked over to the trauma room where they were working on Kate, and stopped one of the nurses on her way back in. "Excuse me. Would it be possible for Mrs. Castle's stepdaughter to take possession of her things? We're trying to contact her father and we don't have the information. He needs to know what's going on with his daughter."

"Give me one moment and I'll see what I can do." The nurse went in but came out moments later. "Her cell phone isn't here. She didn't have any personal items on her when she was brought in."

"Thank you." Hayley went back to join the others. "Her cell phone must still be at the loft. The nurse said Kate didn't have any personal items on her."

"Will they let me in there to check?" Alexis asked.

"Probably not, but they might let one of the boys in," Lanie told her. "Alexis, believe me when I tell you that you don't want to go into the loft. You don't need to see that."

"Where are Detectives Ryan and Esposito?" They heard the voice of Deputy Chief Victoria Gates call out.

"They are on their way back here with Mr. Castle's mother, sir," Lanie answered.

"Are either Castle or Beckett conscious?"

"We don't know. No one has come out to tell us anything."

"Does anyone know how this happened?"

"Our guess is that Caleb Brown was waiting for Castle and Beckett when they returned home this morning," Ryan answered, walking in with Espo and Martha, who ran over to Alexis and embraced her tightly.

"I thought that Mr. Brown was deceased. Ms. Parish, didn't you identify his remains?"

"Yes, sir. But he was part of a CIA operation. They can do anything that they want."

"So, we don't know who was burned to death in the trunk of Mr. Brown's car?"

"No, sir."

"Family of Richard Castle."

"I'm Martha Rodgers, his mother, and this is his daughter, Alexis Castle. How is my son?"

"At the moment, he's stable. We're getting ready to take him to surgery to repair the muscle damage to his shoulder and chest wall."

"Doctor, has he been conscious?" Chief Gates asked.

"He's been in and out."

"Would it be possible for these two detectives to speak to him before you take him to surgery?"

"Please make it brief. We need to get him upstairs."

Castle was lying motionless on the gurney when Ryan and Esposito walked into the room. "Castle? Can you hear us? It's Ryan and Esposito."

Castle's eyelids flickered before he managed to partially open his eyes. "Kate?"

"She's going to be okay, bro. Are you up to talking to us?"

"He was . . . hiding. Never saw him."

"Caleb Brown?" Espo asked.

"Yeah. Never saw him."

"Did he say anything before he shot you?"

"Not before. After. I figured out that he . . . wasn't dead. He said . . . that he had told Mason . . . I would figure it out."

"He said that _after_ he had shot you?"

"He heard me . . . ask Kate . . . about the . . . the . . . the thing in . . . the basement."

"The incinerator?"

"Yeah. Kate?" He asked again, wincing against the pain.

"Gentlemen, we need to take Mr. Castle upstairs," the doctor repeated.

"Wait. Is 'Lexis here?"

"She's outside with your mom," Ryan told him.

"Can I . . . see her?"

"Mr. Castle—"

"Just for . . . a minute."

"One minute, Mr. Castle. That's all."

"Thank you."

Castle closed his eyes again but opened them when he heard Alexis. "Daddy?"

"Hey, don't cry. I'll be okay. Is Kate . . . okay?"

"I think so. The doctors are still with her."

"Kate's dad . . . is in Phoenix. His number . . . is in my . . . phone."

"Dad, your phone is at the loft."

"Get it . . . call him. He should . . . be here."

"Miss, we need to go."

"Dad, I have to go. I'll see you when you wake up," she kissed his forehead. "I love you."

"I love you, too. Take care of . . . your grandmother."

"I will."

Alexis walked out of the trauma room, wiping at her eyes. "Dad wants me to get his phone. He said that Jim Beckett's phone number is on it."

"ESU hasn't released the crime scene," Ryan pointed out. "It'll be hours, even days, before they do."

"Kate's dad needs to be here," Alexis said, slowly losing whatever composure she had left.

"Alexis, I'll get Mr. Beckett's contact information," Chief Gates told her. "I can get it directly from 1PP. Ryan, Esposito, what did Mr. Castle tell you about the attack?"

"He said that he thinks Caleb Brown was already in the apartment when they arrived home, much as we'd suspected. Somehow, Castle figured out that Caleb wasn't the body that we'd found in the burned car. He said that he was getting ready to relay that information to Beckett when Caleb Brown materialized and shot him. We don't know how Beckett got into the mix. We won't know that until we can speak to her."

"All right. Let me get Jim Beckett's number and I'll call him. I want to know the minute Capt. Beckett and Mr. Castle are out of surgery and able to answer questions."

"Yes, sir," both men answered.

***CCC***

_ Phoenix, Arizona _

Jim Beckett was getting dressed to head to the Federal Courthouse when his cell phone rang. He didn't recognize the number, but he recognized the area code for New York City. "Hello?" He answered cautiously.

"Mr. Beckett, this is Deputy Chief Victoria Gates."

"Has something happened to Katie?"

"Mr. Beckett, there's no easy way to say this. There was a shooting this morning at your daughter's apartment. Both she and Mr. Castle were wounded."

"Wounded? She's alive?"

"Yes, sir. But you should get here."

"I'll get the first flight out. Thank you, Chief."

The only thought going through Jim's mind when he ended the call was 'Not again.' He made two calls; the first to his law partner, explaining that there had been a family emergency requiring him to return to New York City. The second was to the airline, booking a seat on the earliest flight back to New York. He then called Chief Gates back, giving her his flight information and asking her to pass it on to Alexis and Martha.

***CCC***

Alexis, Martha, Lanie, and the boys were sitting vigil outside of the operating room, waiting on word about either Castle or Beckett. Hayley and Vikram had left them, saying that they'd be back later. "Jim Beckett will be arriving at JFK at four o'clock," Chief Gates announced, walking up to the group. "I told him that you two would pick him up at the airport," she looked at the boys.

"Yes, sir."

"Has there been any word?"

"A nurse came out a little while ago and said my dad should be out of surgery soon. We haven't heard anything about Kate," Alexis answered.

"I've spoken to ESU. The shots that the neighbor heard came from Beckett's gun. The neighbor reported hearing three shots and the M.E. found two slugs in Brown and one in the wall where he was found. Brown fired four shots. One was found in one corner of the kitchen, and one was found in the living room wall. The other two are in Capt. Beckett."

"The one in the kitchen was the one that went through Castle?"

"So, it would appear."

The double doors of the operating room opened and a doctor wearing green scrubs stepped out. "Ms. Castle?"

"Yes?" Both Alexis and Martha immediately jumped to their feet.

"Your father is going to be okay. The bullet passed through his upper chest. There was significant muscle damage. I debrided the wound and repaired the damage. His arm will be immobilized for several days to keep him from tearing the sutures. He'll be moved to ICU for the next 24 to 36 hours for observation, then he'll be moved to a room after that."

"When can we see him?"

"As soon as we get him moved and comfortable, I'll have a nurse bring you to him. Keep your visits brief for right now. He needs to rest."

"We will. Thank you."

"Thank god," Martha embraced Alexis, and cried tears of relief. "Now if they would just tell us something about Katherine."

"I'm sure that they will soon," the Chief promised, before looking at her watch. "Ryan, Esposito. You two should get to the airport. Mr. Beckett's plane will be landing soon."

"Yes, sir. Alexis, let us know if you hear anything about Beckett," Espo said.

"I will."

***CCC***

"How did it happen?" Jim Beckett asked from the backseat of Ryan and Esposito's unmarked.

"We aren't 100 percent sure of the details."

"Then, tell me what you do know."

"Castle said he came out of the shadows and shot him."

"Katie heard the shot?"

"No, sir. The gunman was using a suppressor . . . a silencer."

"I know what a suppressor is, detective."

"We don't know how Kate knew that Castle had been shot. We haven't been able to speak to her, yet."

"How bad is it?"

"Castle was shot once. Kate was shot twice. Castle had just come out of surgery before we left the hospital. He's going to be all right."

"Where was Katie shot?"

"In the left upper chest and in the lower right part of her abdomen."

"And the gunman?"

"He's dead. Kate shot and killed him."

"Good. At least I know she won't spend the rest of her life searching for him," Jim muttered, making an obvious reference to her hunt for Bracken.

"No, sir."

When they arrived at the hospital, they led Jim upstairs to the operating theater, where he found Lanie waiting with Hayley Shipton. She hugged Jim before introducing him to Hayley. "Alexis and Martha went to see about Castle. They said that someone will be out to speak to you soon about Kate."

"You said that the person who shot them was in the apartment when they arrived home? Was he burglarizing the apartment?"

"No. It had something to do with a case that Beckett and Castle stumbled into," Ryan tried to explain. "It's complicated."

"Well, I'll try to keep up," Jim's tone was sarcastic.

"Mr. Beckett, had Kate ever said anything to you about Loksat?" Chief Gates asked him.

"No. Katie rarely ever talked to me about anything that she was working on."

"In this case, that was probably for the best. Have you watched the news this morning or read the newspaper?"

"Normally, that would be part of my morning routine, but you called and interrupted that routine."

"I'll see that you get a newspaper. It will be far easier for you to read about it than for one of us to explain it all to you."

"Family of Katherine Beckett," a doctor stepped out of the double doors.

"I'm Jim Beckett, Kat . . . Kate's father," Mr. Beckett stepped forward.

"I'm Dr. Davila, Katherine's surgeon. Your daughter is out of surgery, but her condition is extremely critical. She was shot twice. The first bullet went into her left side of her chest and fractured her collarbone. Her arm has been immobilized to help the fracture to heal and to prevent further damage. The second bullet went into the lower right side of her abdomen. It struck her liver, causing extensive bleeding."

"Will she survive?"

"Right now, I'm putting the odds at 40/60. The next 48 hours will be the determining factor in whether or not she pulls through."

"When can I see her?"

"She's being moved to ICU. I'll have someone get you when we have her settled."

"Excuse me, doctor," Chief Gates stepped forward. "Do you know when Capt. Beckett will be able to talk to the police about what happened?"

"I don't expect her to regain consciousness for at least another five or six hours. If she does wake up, questions will have to be kept at a minimum."

"I understand."

"Sir, we might have better luck speaking to Castle again," Espo suggested.

"We need statements from both of them as soon as possible."

***CCC***

Jim had been at Kate's bedside for the past four hours, keeping watch while the machines at her side kept their own monitoring of her vital signs. She was so white that she seemed to blend in with the sheets on the bed. The only time he looked up from Katie was when the nurses would come in to adjust one of the monitors or her IV's. He knew that Rick was three doors down from where Katie was. Alexis had come in earlier to tell him what room her dad was in.

It was another two hours before Katie began stirring ever so slightly. "Katie?"

When she opened her eyes, he could see the fear and confusion in them. "Dad?" She moved her lips, but no sound came out.

"Shhh, it's okay." Seeing her try to move against all the wires that she was attached to gave him concern, so he rang for a nurse. "Katie, you need to be still."

"I'll let her doctor know that she's awake," a nurse came in, adjusting another one of the IV's. "She probably won't be awake long."

Keeping guard outside of Kate's room, Ryan and Esposito had seen the nurse enter the room and come out moments later. "Excuse me," Esposito got up and followed the nurse. "Is Capt. Beckett awake?"

"Yes, but she needs her rest."

"It's important that we ask her a few questions. We promise that we won't take long."

"Your friend just underwent major surgery. A bunch of questions is the last thing that she needs at this point."

"We need to find out why this happened. Capt. Beckett and her husband are our only witnesses."

"Let me speak to her father first."

The nurse once again entered Kate's room. When she exited this time, Jim Beckett was behind her. "I know that you two are doing your jobs. I also know how much Kate means to you. For that reason, I can let you have five minutes. Please try not to upset her," Jim implored them.

Kate had drifted off again, but she slowly opened her eyes when she heard footsteps. "Beckett, hi," Ryan said, sitting down in Jim's recently vacated chair. "Can you answer a few questions for us?" Kate slowly nodded. "Can you tell us what happened?"

"Voices," Kate's voice was a raspy whisper.

"You heard someone's voice besides Castle's?" Espo clarified for her, watching her nod.

"A noise. Don't . . . don't know what . . . it was."

"But you knew something was wrong."

"Yes."

"Is that when you got your gun from the safe?" Ryan asked, once again watching Kate nod.

"Castle? Okay?"

"Castle's okay. He's down the hall. Martha and Alexis are with him."

"Caleb Brown . . . in kitchen . . . over Castle."

"Caleb was getting ready to shoot Castle?" Espo asked. This time Kate shook her head.

"Already. He was . . . about to . . . again."

"He was getting ready to shoot Castle a second time?" Espo asked.

"Yes. Did he?"

"No," Ryan answered.

"I don't . . . understand. Caleb is dead. Was it him?"

"Yeah, Beckett. It was him. We don't know what the story is, yet. We're working on it."

"Castle's okay?"

Ryan looked at Esposito in confusion. "Beckett, Castle's okay. Brown didn't shoot him again. You stopped it."

"Tired. Really, really tired," her eyes closed.

"Get some rest, Kate. We'll come back by later," Ryan said, as he and Espo left the room.

Going back to sleep, Kate hoped that the boys weren't lying to her about Rick. Because she didn't want to live in a world without him in it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N #3: This story is going to have extreme highs and extreme lows. In other words, a typical Caskett1960 roller-coaster ride. So, hold on to your seatbelts, because you're in for a wild ride. I promise that I will make it worth your while.  
> Follow me:  
> Facebook: Wylie.Cindy@Yahoo.com


	3. Awareness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castle and Beckett fight for their lives after the attack in their home and learn some shocking news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N #1: I want to give a huge shout-out to the guest reviewer who sent me one of the best reviews that I've ever received. While I'm not working on a book, I would like to someday. And as for having Kate shot in an area of the body that makes sense, I am striving to make both hers' and Castle's injuries as realistic as possible. I read a lot of post-LokSat stories before starting this one. Too many of these stories had her injuries more minor than it appeared at the end of 8x22.

**FULL CIRCLE**

**Chapter 2: Awareness**

There were some moments where Kate was very aware. Other moments passed in a pain-filled fog. She was aware of when her doctors were in the room. She would feel the pull of adhesive tape and latex-covered hands examining her wounds. She could hear them speaking, although their words made no sense.

She was also aware of her different visitors. Even in her drug-induced, unconscious state, she could tell who was visiting her by touch and sometimes by smell. Her most constant visitor was her dad. He would read to her from Castle's books or sometimes articles in The Ledger. She could hear how tired he was and wanted to wake up long enough to tell him to go home and get a few hours of sleep. But it was so much easier to just stay asleep. If she didn't wake up, she wouldn't have to remember that morning.

Alexis would visit and tell her things that Castle had said or done. She told Kate that he was anxious to see her, but his doctor wouldn't let him. She said that hopefully he could see her in a day or two. A day or two was good. That meant that she'd gotten to him in time that morning. Losing him wasn't an option.

Kate could tell when Martha was visiting by the gentle touch of her ringed fingers on her hands. She had also brought Kate a much softer blanket than the rough one supplied by the hospital. From the smell of the perfume that lingered on it, she could tell it was the one from Martha's old room at the loft. The one that Castle had wrapped around her the night that Vulcan Simmons had almost drowned her.

She remembered talking to the boys, but how long ago had that been? One day? Three? Time no longer held any meaning. She just wanted to stay unconscious until she could see Castle again. Nothing else mattered but seeing him. The smile that was only for her. The way that his eyes would crinkle at the edges when he laughed.

She could feel something tugging at her and forced her eyes opened to watch as a nurse changed one of her IV bags. "I didn't mean to disturb you," the nurse was apologetic while she finished her task and straightened the soft blanket that was covering Kate.

"How long?" Kate managed to whisper.

"How long what?"

"Since—" Kate tried to formulate her thoughts, but she was so fuzzy.

"You've been here almost two days. The doctor has lowered your sedation, so the fuzziness will fade away in a few hours. Are you in pain?" Kate nodded in affirmation.

"My husband?"

"Mr. Castle is doing well. He's anxious to see you. His mother and daughter have been fighting to keep him in bed."

"How bad?"

"Your doctor will be in to talk to you soon. He wants you a bit more alert first. Do you need anything?"

"Water?"

"They don't want you having anything to drink just yet. I'll get some ice chips."

Kate closed her eyes, breathing through the pain that was coursing a path through her entire body. She opened them again when she smelled the familiar scent of Martha's perfume. "That lovely young nurse said you were asking for some ice chips."

"How's Rick?"

"Stubborn, but very much alive," Martha assured Kate. "His doctor has said he can visit you tomorrow," she spooned a few ice chips into Kate's mouth.

"Did he say anything?"

"About what?"

"You know what, Martha."

"You need to focus on regaining your strength. Everything's in the hands of the FBI now."

"I'm sorry, Martha. I never wanted to get him hurt. I love him."

"I know that, darling. He loves you, too. Every time he wakes up, Alexis and I have to practically chain him to his bed. If we weren't there, he'd be out of bed and here with you."

"Tell him—"

"I will, darling. I will. Here, a few more of these and then I want you to get some rest."

"Thank you for the blanket," Kate stroked the softness of it.

"Anything is better than that scratchy thing they were covering you with."

***CCC***

When Castle first became fully aware of his surroundings again, the first person that he saw at his bedside was Alexis. "Hi."

"Hi," she gave him a tentative smile.

"Where's your grandmother?"

"With Kate. She's finally starting to wake up a little more. Promise me that you're not going to try to get out of bed again, dad."

"I won't. Is she going to be okay?"

"The last that we heard from Jim is that her doctors are cautiously optimistic. One of her doctors has said he'll come and talk to you about her later. How is your pain?"

"Awful. Don't call anybody yet. I don't want to go back to sleep. Are Ryan and Esposito still here?"

"No. They went back to the precinct to brief the FBI."

"We weren't supposed to get shot by a dead man, Alexis."

"You weren't supposed to get shot by anybody, dad."

"Touché."

"Now, I'm going to go let your nurse know that you need a shot."

"Go home and sleep, pumpkin."

"I will."

Watching Alexis leave the room, Castle almost audibly groaned at his last words to her. Home was now a crime scene. He still couldn't believe that Caleb Brown hadn't been dead. Not only not dead, but he had managed to ambush him and Beckett in their own home. Was Caleb dead? He couldn't remember if he'd asked Ryan and Esposito. "How's the pain, Mr. Castle?" A young nurse materialized at his bedside. "Please be honest."

"On a scale of one to 10, it's a six, I guess. How's Kate?"

"Your wife is doing just fine."

"Please don't lie to me."

"I'll page Dr. Davila when I leave here and let him know that you're asking about her. He'll come in to talk to you about her condition. But for right now, you need to relax."

"Why can't I move my arm?"

"Your arm is immobilized to keep you from ripping your sutures. Rest now."

"When will I meet Kate's doctor?"

"Later this morning."

***CCC***

The next time Kate awoke, Lanie was sitting by her side. "Hey, girl," Lanie's voice was soft.

"How long?"

"How long since what?" Lanie was confused.

"How long have I been here? And how long was I out?"

"You've been here just over two days. As for how long you've been out, are you referring to this time or after the shooting?"

"Both, I guess. I don't know. How's Castle?"

"Castle's okay, Kate. They're letting him visit you later."

"I'm confused."

"Sweetie, we all are."

"Castle figured it out. He was trying to tell me just before . . . before everything happened. That's the last thing that I remember clearly. He's really okay?"

"The bullet went straight through his upper chest. There was some muscle damage, but nothing permanent."

"And me?"

"Kate, why don't you let me page your doctor? He can fill you in regarding your injuries."

"Where's my dad?"

"I finally convinced him to get some sleep in the on-call room. Do you want me to go and get him?"

"No. Let him sleep. Who found us?"

"The boys did. Espo got a call saying that one of your neighbors had reported hearing shots from your apartment." Lanie could see that Kate's eyes were once again growing heavy. "Get some sleep, sweetie."

"I want to see Castle," were her final words before sleep once again reclaimed her.

***CCC***

"You heard what your doctor said," Alexis reminded her father as an orderly helped him into a wheelchair.

"No getting out of the chair. I heard, Alexis."

"Fifteen minutes," she said as she wheeled him out of his room and down the hall to Kate's bedside. "I will be back for you in 15 minutes."

Castle's breath caught in his throat when Alexis stopped in the wide doorway. He could barely see Kate for all the wires and machines that were surrounding her. When Alexis moved him closer, he noticed how pale she was. Much more so than the first time he'd seen her after the shooting at the cemetery. "Get me closer," his voice was barely above a whisper as Alexis pushed the chair as close to the bed as was possible.

"Stay in your chair," she warned once again, kissing the top of his head.

Kate didn't have to hear his voice to know that he was there. She'd always been able to sense his presence. Tears welled up in her eyes when she opened them and saw him sitting there, wearing a bright blue sling on his injured arm. "Are you really here?"

Despite his daughters' warning to remain seated, Castle managed to get to his feet and lean over Kate's bed, his lips warm on hers. He would've kept kissing her, but after a minute, he heard her struggling to get some air. He then sat down and clasped his hand in hers, being mindful of the IV. "Yeah, I'm really here."

"Can you raise me up a little?" Castle pushed the button on her bed rail, raising her up a couple of inches. "Thanks. How are you feeling?"

"Like I got shot. You?"

"Like I got shot. Twice," she managed to lift a couple of fingers for emphasis.

"Always trying to upstage me," he teased.

"How did we get shot by a dead man, Castle?"

"I don't know. But he really is dead this time. Three bullets at center mass will tend to make dead men stay dead. You saved my life, Beckett."

"I had to. Losing you isn't an option. Not ever."

"Good, you're awake and the two of you are together," Castle looked over his shoulder toward the unfamiliar voice. The man in the white coat had entered the room with a female doctor, who was also wearing a white lab coat. "I'm Dr. Davila. I am Mrs. Castle's surgeon. This is Dr. Armstrong. She's an OB/GYN."

"Okay, I'm confused," Kate looked from Castle to the two doctors. "I get why you're here," she pointed at Dr. Davila, "but I don't get why _she's_ here."

"Mrs. Castle, when you were brought in, we took x-rays of your injuries," Dr. Armstrong said. "Mrs. Castle, you're approximately eight weeks pregnant."

"You're speaking present tense," Castle looked at Kate, who was still trying to absorb this new information. "Kate _is_ pregnant, not _was_?"

"Your wife is still pregnant. None of us have been able to figure out how," Dr. Armstrong confirmed.

"However," Dr. Davila now took his turn to speak, "your injuries are quite severe. The chances of you carrying this child to term are astronomical."

"But I could do it?" She could see the doctor hesitating. "I asked you a simple yes or no question. Could I carry this baby to term?"

"Of course, anything is possible. However—"

"I'm not terminating this pregnancy."

"Kate—"

"No! How severe are my injuries?"

"The bullet that struck your lower abdomen hit your liver. You lost a lot of blood. The blood loss alone could've already endangered the life of the fetus. The other bullet shattered your collarbone. You might need more surgery in the future to repair the damage."

"What did I do?" Kate began to hyperventilate. "Oh my god, what did I do?"

"Kate, hey. Look at me. Come on, focus on me. It's going to be okay," Castle tried to calm her down.

"Mrs. Castle—"

"Dr. Davila, why don't you give the three of us a few minutes?" Dr. Armstrong glanced at the other doctor. She waited for him to leave the room before she pulled over a second chair. "Kate? Is it all right if I call you Kate?"

"Yes," Kate's voice was breathless as she tried to process the new information.

"I know that this news is a shock. Believe me, we were all as surprised as you are."

"Castle, if I had known, I never would've put our baby in danger."

"I know that. Kate, we're going to figure this out."

"What are our options?"

"You've already said that you're not terminating. So, I guess that only leaves the one option," Dr. Armstrong smiled.

"Can I do this? Will the baby be okay?"

"Let's take this one step at a time. Let me see about getting an ultrasound in here. We'll know more after that. Let me go and do that. I'll be right back."

"Alexis is coming to get me in a few minutes. Dr. Armstrong, can you wheel me out of here so that I can talk to my daughter?"

"Of course." The doctor noticed that Kate was wincing. "How bad is the pain, Kate?"

"Bad. But I want to see our baby."

"I'll get on them about the ultrasound."

Alexis saw the strange doctor pushing her dad's chair out of Kate's room. "Alexis, this is Dr. Armstrong. I need a few more minutes with Kate."

"Dad—"

"Alexis, Dr. Armstrong is an OB/GYN."

"Kate's having a baby? Is the baby okay?"

"That's what we're going to try to find out," Dr. Armstrong explained. "Excuse me."

"Did she know? Did you?"

"No. We weren't trying. I mean, we weren't _not_ trying, but—"

"I get the picture, dad. Is everything going to be okay with the baby?"

"Alexis, I know as much as you do right now. I just want to see the ultrasound and spend a few more minutes with Kate. She's rattled by the news. She's blaming herself."

"Mr. Castle?" Dr. Armstrong reappeared with a radiologist who was pushing a portable ultrasound in front of him.

"Can I go in, too?" Alexis asked.

"Dr. Armstrong, I'm sorry. This is my daughter, Alexis."

"If Kate is all right with you coming in, then you can. Let us get everything set up and then I'll let you come in."

Kate was laying with her eyes closed, fighting the intense waves of pain that was radiating everywhere. "Kate? We're going to get the ultrasound set up and then we'll look at this baby. Your daughter was wondering if she can come in."

"Alexis," Kate's voice was barely audible. "Yeah. She can come in."

Kate didn't realize that she had dozed off until she felt Castle's hand in hers once again. "Hey. I fell asleep."

After pulling a privacy drape around the bed, the doctor lowered the blanket and sheet covering Kate, and raised her gown to expose her abdomen. Castle sucked in a breath when he saw the huge square of gauze covering Kate's abdomen. "We got the gel from the warmer, so it won't be shockingly cold," Dr. Armstrong squeezed a large dollop of gel and ran the transducer over it to spread it around.

At first, no one saw anything. But then Kate saw something blinking on the screen. "Is that the heartbeat?"

"There it is. The heartbeat is perfect."

Kate couldn't take her eyes off the screen until she heard Castle sniffling. She looked at him and saw tears blazing a trail down his cheeks. "We're okay, Castle. Please don't cry."

The doctor wiped the gel from Kate and straightened her gown and the bedding before turning off the ultrasound. "We'll give you guys a few minutes before your daughter takes you back to your room."

"I'll be outside, dad. Wave at me when you're ready."

"I thought that I had lost you," Castle's voice quavered. "I thought that I had lost both of you."

"Not a chance. You're not going to get rid of me that easily. Wow."

"Yeah, wow."

"I don't want to tell everybody yet, Castle. We'll tell your mom and my dad. But nobody else. Not yet. Okay?"

"Okay. Now, I'm going to go let someone know that you need something for pain."

"No. Don't go, Castle. Not yet."

"I'll be back tomorrow. Early." He kissed her fingers. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

***CCC***

"A baby! Did Katherine know?" Martha was taken aback by the news that she was about to be a grandmother for the second time.

"No. And, right now, she only wants immediate family to know. So, no telling your acting students, Mother," Richard implored his mother.

"Has anyone told Jim?"

"No. They gave Kate a shot right after I left. I don't think the news should come from me. I think it's only right to let Kate tell him."

"Richard, is everything all right with the pregnancy? I mean, Katherine's body sustained a horrible trauma."

"Her surgeon wasn't overly optimistic. But the OB/GYN seemed a little more hopeful. I guess we'll know more as Kate continues to heal."

"How are you feeling about the news?"

"I don't know. Under normal circumstances, I'd be thrilled. I don't think it's fully sunk in. It was such a shock seeing Kate. She looked so pale. I mean, she looked bad after the other shooting, but this time—" he put his hand over his eyes.

"She'll be okay, dad," Alexis tried to console her father. "You have to keep telling yourself that."

***CCC***

"A baby?" Jim Beckett was as shocked as everybody else. "Are you sure?"

"Dad, I saw the ultrasound. You're going to be a grandpa," Kate smiled, although the pain inside of her was raging.

"How do you feel?"

"About the baby? I don't know. I'm shocked. Castle and I had been talking about . . . a baby. But I thought it would still be . . . a little way off."

"When did you last have something for pain?"

"No, dad. They came in after Castle left. I told them no."

"Katie, what're you doing?"

"I'm having a baby, dad. I don't know what these drugs are doing to my child. _Our_ child."

"Katie, they knew you were pregnant right after you were brought in. I'm sure they've been giving you medications that are safe."

"Have they, dad? Because . . . that surgeon—"

"Dr. Davila?"

"Him. I don't think he expects me . . . to . . . carry this . . . baby to term. Who knows? Maybe he's in cahoots with Mason Wood. Maybe . . . he's been giving me . . . morphine and who . . . who knows what else."

"What was the other doctor's name? The one who came in with Dr. Davila?"

"Uh, it . . . began with an A. Armstrong. Dr. Armstrong."

"Would you like me to have her paged? Maybe you could talk to her some more. It might be easier to talk to her woman to woman."

"Okay."

"If she says it's okay for you to have a shot for pain, will you let them give it to you?"

"Yes."

"Okay. I'll see if I can get them to page her."

Jim went to the desk and asked that Dr. Armstrong be paged. Moments later, the elevator at the far end of the hall slid opened, and a tall, blonde woman wearing a white lab coat walked toward the desk with a tablet in her hand. "Did someone page me?"

"Dr. Armstrong?" Jim stepped forward. "I'm Jim Beckett. Katie . . . Kate Castle is my daughter. She was just telling me about the pregnancy."

"You must be as shocked as everybody else is," the doctor smiled.

"Yes, but that's not why I asked them to page you. Katie won't let the nurses give her anything for pain. She and her husband suffered a horrible tragedy in their home, and she's more than a little paranoid right now."

"I can understand her distrust. Let me speak to her and see what I can do."

"Thank you."

Kate had her eyes closed, trying to breathe through the pain when she heard a shoe squeak on the linoleum. She opened her eyes and saw Dr. Armstrong pulling a chair over. "Your father said that you're refusing pain medication."

"What if it does something to the baby?"

"Kate, when I was consulted after you and your husband were brought in, I made damn sure that measures were taken to ensure that this baby stayed as safe as possible. We all expected you to lose the baby either during your surgery or immediately after. When that didn't happen, I knew that you had a chance to carry this baby to term. Now, it still might not happen, but every day that we can keep that baby inside of you is a day closer to the day you get to hold this child in your arms."

"I'm scared."

"I know, and that's normal under ideal circumstances. I was scared to death when I got pregnant with my daughter. But in order for your body to heal, you need to rest. And right now, the only way that you're going to rest is if you're free from pain. If you're in pain, let the nurses give you a shot."

"Okay."

"I'll send a nurse in. And Kate? Congratulations." The doctor smiled at Kate.

"Thank you."

After Kate was asleep, Jim went to the nurses' lounge for some coffee. He was sitting at one of the tables when Martha walked in. "Kiddo, you look as exhausted as I feel," Martha walked over and made a cup of coffee for herself. "Did you get to talk to Katherine?" She came over and sat across from him.

"If you mean, did she tell me about the baby, yes, she did. I had the nurse at the desk page the doctor that she'd talked to earlier. Kate wouldn't let them give her a shot for pain."

"Because of the baby?" Martha guessed.

"Yeah. The doctor came down and talked to her. I guess she convinced her, because they gave her a shot and she's sleeping now. How's Rick?"

"Richard is doing as well as can be expected. He's worried about Katherine, but now he's worried about his unborn child. The good news is he will be moved out of ICU tomorrow and into a regular room. Which means he'll probably park himself at Katherine's bedside and never leave."

"I think Rick is what Kate needs right now. She's becoming distrustful and paranoid. I know Rick is able to keep her grounded. Where's Alexis?"

"I sent her home with Hayley a few hours ago. She can't go home because the loft is still an active crime scene. Esposito said that ESU should be releasing it in a day or two. But I doubt either Richard or Katherine is going to return there after what happened."

"I saw earlier where it's still all over the news. Has anyone talked to that man that Katie and Rick arrested earlier?"

"Which one? Mason Wood or the man who kidnapped Richard and tortured him?"

"Either of them."

"I don't know. I haven't spoken to anybody from the precinct since late yesterday."

"I was reading in The Ledger this morning that nobody knows the true identity of the man who kidnapped Rick." Jim looked at Martha, who had covered her face with her hands. "I'm sorry, Martha. I'll stop talking about it now. You should go home and get some rest."

"I could say the same for you."

"I will, as soon as Katie comes off the critical list. Until then, I'm staying right here."

***CCC***

When Castle opened his eyes the next morning, he was surprised to see Jim Beckett at his bedside, rather than his mother or Alexis. "Jim, hi," he threw the covers back and sat up on the edge of the bed.

"Should you be getting out of bed?"

"They got me up for a little while last night after I came back from seeing Kate. I'm kind of glad because I hated ringing for a nurse every time I had to pee."

Castle carefully eased out of bed and slowly made his way to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. After several minutes, Jim heard water running before Castle emerged from the bathroom and hobbled back to bed. "I get out of ICU today."

"Your mother told me. I also hear that congratulations are in order," Jim smiled, a smile that Castle didn't return. "Rick, what is it?"

"I love being a father. You know that. And I always saw kids in mine and Kate's future. I'm just worried what if things don't go right."

"Rick, things can go wrong in a normal pregnancy. Katie's healthy. You're going to see that she's going to bounce back from this."

"Just a reminder, Jim, that it took her almost a year to fully recover after getting shot in the heart. And that was one bullet. And she wasn't pregnant that time."

"I think that the two of you need to talk without medical professionals hovering over you. She has a lot of fears too, Rick. You need to listen to each other. Just like you always have."

When Castle slowly walked into Kate's room later that morning, he saw that her bed had been raised slightly more than the day before. "Hi. You're walking."

"Yeah, they want me up and walking around. They never told me how hard it was to walk when you had been shot in the upper chest."

"You should've seen me walking after I'd got shot the first time. I looked like I was constantly looking for change on the ground. What're we going to do, Castle?"

"Oh, I don't know," he walked over and sat in a chair that her father had recently vacated. "From everything I remember from yesterday, I think we're having a baby, Beckett."

"How do you feel about it?"

"Scared shitless."

"Good," she sighed. "Because I thought it was just me."

"I'd lie and say that everything's going to be fine," he moved closer to the bed. "But we don't know that."

"I do."

"Beckett—"

"No," she moved her hand up to touch the corner of his mouth. "I thought that you were dead, Castle. And then he started shooting at me. I started shooting back. I saw him fall. I didn't know that I had been hit until I saw the blood on my shirt. I didn't feel anything. My legs just went out from under me and I fell on the living room floor. That was when I heard you trying to move. I don't know how I did it, Castle, but I had to get to you. I figured that if we were going to die, we were going to die together. A neighbor heard my shots. I don't know who. Dispatch called the boys and they found us. If the neighbor hadn't called 9-1-1, no one would've found us for hours. We would've died and our baby . . . _our baby_ , Castle, would've died with us. You're my family. Now we get to grow that family together. It's not going to be easy."

"Of course not," Castle chuckled. "When has anything been easy when it comes to you and me?"

"It's not going to be easy," she repeated, "but I want to do this. I want to do this more than I've ever wanted anything other than marrying you. I've thought of nothing else since Dr. Armstrong told us. And, Castle, we need to find out what her first name is because that's what we're naming our baby."

"What if it's something horrible like Hortense? When Meredith and I were looking at a baby name book when we were expecting Alexis, do you know what it said beside the name 'Hortense?'"

"No," Kate was trying not to laugh. It hurt too much to laugh.

"'No.' That was all that it said."

"Okay, if her first name is anything other than Hortense, then that's what we'll name our baby. Okay?"

"Okay," his smile was huge for the first time in so long. Kate so loved that smile. "In that case, Beckett, I say let's have a baby."

"Okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N #2: The baby name book that Castle was referring to is a real book. Beside the name Hortense, the only word was 'no.' No definition of the baby's name like the other entries. I thought it was hilarious.  
> Follow me:  
> Facebook: Wylie.Cindy@Yahoo.com


	4. Putting the Pieces Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys and Chief Gates begin the investigation into Castle and Beckett's shooting with a little help from the feds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N #1: This chapter isn’t as long as the previous chapter, but it sets the wheels in motion for the next chapter. 
> 
> A/N #2: I did a lot of thinking before I started working on this chapter. I tried to take the things that didn’t make sense in Season 8 make a little more sense here. Hopefully I succeeded. If I didn’t, I hope that I don’t confuse you guys more than Hawley and Winters did with that awful final season.

**FULL CIRCLE**

**Chapter 3: Putting the Pieces Together**

“What do we know, so far?” Deputy Chief Victoria Gates was standing at one end of a long conference table, beside a white board.

Sitting around the conference table were various members of the NYPD and the FBI. Chief among them were Detectives Ryan and Esposito, as well as Agents Jordan Shaw and William Sorensen. Agents Shaw and Sorensen had been sent down since both agents had worked with Beckett and Castle in the past.

“Castle stated that Brown was already in the apartment when he and Beckett arrived home,” Espo’s voice was tired.

They had all been working the investigation non-stop since the shooting three days earlier and everybody was running on fumes by this point.

“We need to find out how Brown was able to access Mr. Castle’s building. Does the apartment have an alarm code?” Gates asked.

“I don’t know. We could ask Castle,” Ryan said. “It is a doorman building. Whoever accessed the loft would’ve had to go through the doorman.”

“Not necessarily,” now it was Jordan Shaw’s turn to chime in. “If he was able to wait until the doorman was distracted, he could’ve ducked in without anyone noticing.”

“Ryan, Esposito, I want you to speak to Castle and Capt. Beckett again. See if there’s anything that we’re not yet aware of.”

“Sir, we can talk to Castle. Beckett’s doctors are asking that we wait a little longer before questioning her further. I spoke to Jim Beckett last night and he passed that along to me,” Ryan told the group.

“All right. But I want to know the moment that we can talk to Beckett again.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Has ESU released the crime scene.”

“Yes, sir. This morning.”

“Okay. Take one of the agents and go over the crime scene again. See if there is any evidence that the lock on the door was tampered with.”

“Sir, why don’t we divide and conquer?” Ryan suggested. “One of us can take one of the agents to the hospital to question Castle while the other team goes to the loft.”

“Fine. I’ll let the four of you decide who goes with whom. Let’s reconvene in here at five o’clock to see if we have anything further.”

Once Gates left the conference room, the other four occupants stared warily at each other. “How are we going to do this?” Sorensen asked. “Draw straws or rock-paper-scissors?”

“Sorensen and I will take the loft,” Esposito offered. “Unless you want to go talk to your buddy Castle.”

“The loft is fine.”

Once Espo and Sorensen had left the room, Ryan took out his cell phone and dialed Alexis’ number. “Alexis, are you with your dad?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“I need to talk to him for a second.”

Alexis handed her phone over to her dad. “It’s Det. Ryan.”

“Kevin? What’s going on?”

“Castle, Agent Jordan Shaw and I are on our way to the hospital to ask you more questions about the shooting.”

“Okay. When will you be here? I was on my way to see Kate.”

“We’re leaving the precinct now. We should be there in 20 minutes or so.”

“Okay. See you in a bit.” Castle ended the call and handed Alexis her phone back. “Ryan’s on his way here with Jordan Shaw from the FBI. I guess my visit to Kate will have to wait a bit.”

“Do you want me to tell her?”

“Not about the questioning. Just tell her I’ve been held up, but I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“What if she asks why?”

“Make something up. After all, you’re the daughter of a writer.”

“Yeah but making up stuff on the sly is _your_ department, not mine.”

In the car on the way to the hospital, Ryan and Agent Shaw made small talk, discussing anything but the reason why they were sitting in a car together. “I understand that you have a family now.”

“Yeah,” Kevin smiled proudly. “My wife and I have a two-year-old daughter and a five-week-old son.”

“Congratulations.”

“Thank you. How old is your daughter now?”

“Fifteen going on 25,” Jordan smiled. “I wish you luck when your daughter becomes a teenager.”

“Alexis Castle was 15 when we first met her,” Ryan reminisced. “It was hard at times to tell who was parenting whom.”

“How long have Castle and Beckett been married?”

“Just over a year. This whole case is complicated. And what makes it more complicated is Espo and I were kept out of the loop for most of it.”

“Chief Gates filled us in on what she knew. Which wasn’t much.”

When they stepped off the elevator at the hospital, they were surprised to find Alexis waiting for them. “You have to walk by Kate’s room to get to my dad’s. My dad doesn’t want her to know that you’re here. It’ll just upset her and we’re all trying to avoid upsetting her any more than we have to.”

“Alexis, what’s going on? I thought Kate’s condition was improving.”

“It is. Just . . . come on.”

Alexis hurriedly walked the three of them past Kate’s room and down to Castle’s. “I’ll leave you to talk to my dad. I’m going to go and see Kate.”

Castle was sitting upright in bed when Ryan and Shaw walked in. “Ryan, hey,” he held his uninjured hand out to his friend. “Agent Shaw, nice to see you.”

“You too, Castle. I wish it were under different circumstances.”

“Esposito and Sorensen are going through the loft. ESU released the crime scene this morning.”

“Uh, could he bring me and Kate our cell phones?”

“Yeah, I’ll send him a text. Castle, we need to ask you some more questions about that morning. When did you know that Caleb Brown was in your apartment?”

“Not until he shot me. He literally emerged from the shadows. But I had already figured out that he wasn’t dead. And I figured out something else.”

“What’s that?” Ryan asked.

“Mason Wood wasn’t LokSat. Caleb Brown was.”

“Castle, Mason Wood was about to kill you and Beckett. He gave you truth serum,” Ryan reminded his friend.

“Because he was ordered to do so. Kevin, if Kate hadn’t shot and killed Caleb Brown, he would’ve left the loft and gone after the rest of you. The only people he would’ve left alive would’ve been Lanie and Jim Beckett. And that’s because they didn’t know anything. He made me give all of you up, Kevin,” Castle’s voice was thick with tears. “After he got everybody’s name, he left. He said that he was leaving to go pick up Kate. But I’m sure that the second he left, he called Brown and gave him the all clear sign. If Kate and I had died in that basement, you or Espo would’ve been his next targets. Then Hayley, then Vikram, then my mother, and then my . . . Alexis. And it would have been my fault.”

“We’re trying to find out how he got inside of your building, Castle,” Shaw said.

“There’s something that you need to know first. About a month ago, Kate and I came home one night and found Caleb Brown inside the loft.”

“What? Why didn’t you tell us about this?” Ryan was outraged.

“We thought that he was on our side. Kate had gone to visit him earlier in the day and had attempted to offer him a deal. She gave him a deadline. When it came and went, we thought that he had declined her offer. We were shocked when we found him in the loft. Now I know why he was there.”

“To test your security.”

“Yeah.”

“Did Beckett figure out that Brown was LokSat?”

“I don’t know. There are some things that she remembers from that morning and other things that she doesn’t. I’m not sure if she figured it out for herself.”

“You’re sure, Castle?”

“I’ve never been surer of anything. Has anyone talked to Mason Wood or Mr. Flynn?”

“No. Wood has lawyered up and Flynn is just refusing to talk. We still don’t know his real name.”

“Um, Rita might know who he really is.”

“Who’s Rita?” Shaw asked.

“When Kate and Vikram were on the run after they learned about LokSat, they were rescued by this woman named Rita. She claimed to be married to my birth father.”

“Castle, I thought that you didn’t know who your birth father was,” Ryan was puzzled.

“Ryan, Agent Shaw, I’m about to tell you a long story and it goes back to when Alexis was abducted and taken to Paris.”

***CCC***

“We found them in here,” Esposito said, walking into the kitchen where he found a frying pan tossed haphazardly on the kitchen counter.

“Kate must’ve collapsed in here,” Sorensen pointed to the large area of dried blood that started in the living room and then trailed to the area in front of the stove. “It looks like she crawled to the kitchen after she was shot.”

“The bullet that struck Castle went in this cabinet,” Espo walked to the other side of the kitchen where he spotted a round hole in a cabinet next to the dishwasher. He looked at his phone when he got a text message. “Castle asked if we could grab his and Beckett’s cell phones. Castle’s is right here. Beckett’s is probably in the bedroom. Could you grab it and their chargers? I’m not sure where they would be.”

Sorensen walked into the master bedroom, where he saw Kate’s shoes lying on the floor at the foot of the bed. He found her phone on the dresser and managed to find the two chargers without having to root through their personal things. He looked over at the bed and smiled at the picture on Castle’s nightstand. A smiling picture of the two of them taken by a pool. “It was taken in the Hamptons,” Sorensen turned to find Espo standing in the doorway. “I think it was right after they started seeing each other. Castle showed it to me and Ryan one night when we were at the Old Haunt. We should talk to Castle’s doorman.”

They found Eduardo Dominquez outside the front door of the building, hailing a taxi for one of the tenants. “Mr. Dominquez?”

“Det. Esposito, how are Mister and Mrs. Castle?”

“They’re slowly getting better. Mr. Dominquez—”

“Please, call me Eduardo.”

“Eduardo, this is Special Agent Will Sorensen of the FBI. We’re investigating the shooting and we have a few questions. Have you ever seen this man before?” Espo showed Eduardo a picture of Caleb Brown.

“No.”

“How about either of these two men?” Espo next showed photos of Mason Wood and Mr. Flynn.

“No.”

“Is somebody always standing here when the tenants enter or leave the building?” Will asked.

“Somebody is always standing here. But we might not always be paying attention,” Eduardo shifted his feet.

“What do you mean?”

“If we step away to help a tenant get packages from their vehicle or to open a taxi door, it would be easy for someone to slip into the building. It’s happened before.”

“Do the apartments have alarm systems?” Will asked.

“Oh, yes. All the apartments are armed with security systems.”

“Do these systems have cameras?”

“Some do. Mr. Castle’s didn’t. It was just a keypad-based alarm system.”

“Thank you, Eduardo.”

“You’re welcome, Detective. Tell Mr. Castle and Capt. Beckett that we’re all praying for them.”

“I will.”

***CCC***

Castle had just finished telling Ryan and Agent Shaw the story of Jackson Hunt/Anderson Cross. “Kate knows all about him?” Ryan asked.

“She didn’t, at first. But after the case with Anderson Cross, I had to tell her everything. He showed up at my apartment with a bullet wound.”

“And you haven’t seen him since?”

“No.”

“Have you met Rita?”

“Yes. Once. When we were working the case with the Russian diplomat’s murdered son. Kate told me that Rita was my stepmother and she was helping her take down LokSat. I asked about my father and she told me that he was alive.”

“Can Kate get in contact with her again?” Shaw asked.

“I don’t know if she still has her contact information. You’d have to ask her, and I really don’t want you to do that right now.”

“Castle, we’re trying to understand how you and Kate got shot by a dead man. At some point, we’re going to have to talk to Beckett.”

“I have to tell you something, and Kate is going to kill me,” Castle ran a hand through his hair. “Ryan, we just found out that Kate is pregnant. They learned it when we were brought in that morning.”

“Pregnant?” At first Ryan was shocked, and then his face broke out in a huge grin. “Castle, that’s great! Congratulations! Is everything all right?”

“As far as we know, yes. But she needs to avoid stress. Interrogation tends to be stressful. And please don’t tell anybody else. Kate didn’t want everybody to know just yet. I’ll let her know that I told you and why, but nothing to Espo or to Gates. Or to Will Sorensen,” he glared at Shaw. “Let me ask Kate about Rita, and then I’ll get back to you. Okay?”

“Okay, Castle. But let’s make it sooner rather than later, shall we?” Shaw looked pointedly at him.

“I’ll talk to her when you two leave.”  
  


***CCC***

“When is your dad going to be here?” Kate asked Alexis for the tenth time.

“I don’t know. He said that he’d be here as soon as he could. His doctor is wanting to move him to a regular room today. I guess they’re going over his treatment plan from here on out.”

“You’re covering for him, but that’s okay. I don’t feel like arguing the point with you. Who’s questioning him, Ryan or Esposito?”

“Ryan’s in there with Agent Shaw from the FBI. How did you know?”

“Because I’ve been the one who’s questioned injured victims in hospital beds. We have to give statements the moment that we’re able while everything is fresh in our minds.”

“Kate, your doctors have asked them to wait to question you.”

“Alexis, the doctors are only going to be able to hold off the police for so long. I’ll talk to them in a few days. I’ll explain it to your dad,” she said when she saw Alexis starting to object. “Where’s your grandmother?”

“I sent her home to get some sleep. Now that dad is on the mend, she doesn’t need to be here every minute.”

“You don’t have to be here, either.”

“I know. But I’m dad’s gopher.”

“He’s on his feet again, Alexis. I think that he can fend for himself. What else is on your mind?”

“I don’t—”

“Alexis, I’m having a baby. I’m not made of glass. Talk to me.”

“What if I had been there, too? I’ve been having nightmares about it.”

“Alexis, I’m so sorry. I never meant to drag your father into this. That was why I left. I knew what the cost would be if I stayed.”

“Did you know? About the baby?”

“No,” Kate shook her head. “If I had known, I never would’ve kept pursuing LokSat. I would’ve let it go. Have they found out who was really in the trunk of that car?”

“No,” they both heard Castle’s voice from the doorway. “But I have a feeling who it might’ve been.”

“Who?” Kate and Alexis asked at the same time.

“Kate, I told Ryan and Agent Shaw all about my father. Or the man claiming to be my father. Do you still have that card that you used when you contacted Rita?”

“It’s probably in my wallet at the loft.”

“Alexis, let me borrow your phone,” Castle held his hand out for Alexis’ phone. He then dialed Esposito’s number.

“Esposito,” Espo answered on the second ring.

“Javi, it’s Castle. Are you and Sorensen still at the loft?”

“We were getting ready to leave. Why?”

“Hold on,” he brought the phone away from his ear. “Kate, where is your wallet?”

“On top of the dresser.”

“Espo, Kate’s wallet is on the dresser. There should be a card inside of it for a carpet cleaning service.”

“A carpet cleaning service? Bro, they need to lower your pain meds.”

“I need for you to find that card and bring it to the hospital.”

“It’s not really a carpet cleaning service, is it?”

“Javi, just bring the card up here.”

“Okay. We’ll be up there soon.”

Castle ended the call and handed the phone back to his daughter. “What if she doesn’t answer, Kate?”

“Then we have to assume the worst.”

“I asked Mason Wood if she was alive. He told me that she was, for now.”

“Castle, it’s possible that Caleb Brown got to her before he came after us.”

“We need to hope that she’s alive. Not only alive, but that she’s seen my father recently.”

“Why, dad?”

“Because I have a feeling that the dead body they found in that car was his.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N #3: Cliffhanger time!
> 
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> 
> Facebook: Wylie.Cindy@Yahoo.com


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castle and Beckett begin putting the pieces of their shooting together while a shocking development could change everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N #1: There is going to be a lot of LokSat discussion in this chapter. Please bear with me on this. While this is Lily’s story, it is also an investigation into what happened to Castle and Beckett.

**FULL CIRCLE**

**Chapter 4: More Questions, And Few Answers**

“Why does he want a card from a carpet cleaning service?” Sorensen was watching Esposito going through the contents of Beckett’s wallet.

“I don’t know, but I have a feeling that this really isn’t the number of a carpet cleaning service. I think it has more to do with LokSat,” Espo pulled the square of cardboard from the wallet. “Come on. Castle wants us to bring this to Kate.”

“Are they saying that there’s more players in this?”

“It sounds like it.”

Back at the hospital, Alexis had left to get something to eat and a change of clothes. “What did you tell Ryan and Agent Shaw?” Kate asked once Alexis had left them alone.

“I told them everything about Jackson Hunt or whatever his name really is. I also told them that Mason Wood wasn’t LokSat.”

“I know that now. Wood was the Right Hand Man.”

“Yeah.”

“Is it really over, Castle? Or are we going to be looking over our shoulders for the rest of our lives? We have a baby to think about now.”

“Hopefully Rita is still alive, and she can tell us if the danger is over.”

“Have you seen pictures? Of the loft?”

“No. Alexis said it’s bad. Mother said that, too.”

“Where are we going to go when we leave here, Castle? We can’t go back there.”

“We have time to figure that out. We can go to The Four Seasons or The Plaza. Or if you feel up to it, we can go to the Hamptons. We’ll be safe again, Kate.”

Castle looked behind him when he heard someone tap on the glass door. “We found the card that you were looking for,” Espo walked in, followed by Sorensen. “What is this really, Kate?”

“She told me that her name was Rita. She was helping me try to take down LokSat. She’s in the CIA.”

“She’s supposedly married to my father.”

“Wait! I thought—”

“Ryan and Shaw will fill you in. Kate needs your phone.”

“No, she doesn’t,” Sorensen walked over and gave Kate her phone.

“Thank you,” Kate smiled before opening her phone app and dialing the number on the card. “I need to have my carpets cleaned. You can reach me at this number.” She then ended the call and gave her phone to Castle.

“Now what?” Espo asked.

“Now we wait to see if she calls back. If she doesn’t, then we assume the worst.”

“All Wood would tell me is that she was still alive. For now,” Castle recalled the words Mason Wood had said to him the night he’d been tortured.

“How long did it take her to get back to you before?” Will asked.

“A few minutes.”

“We should get back to the precinct. If she calls—”

“I’ll contact you.”

“Thanks. Get some rest, Kate.”

The moment that Espo and Sorensen exited the room, Kate threw her head back against her pillow in exhaustion. “Do you need something for the pain?”

“No. Not yet. It’s not horrible, yet. Can you massage my legs? I’ve had someone come in to do it, but he hasn’t got here.”

“Should I be jealous?” Castle teased, uncovering her legs.

“No,” she smiled. “Your mother left some lotion in the drawer.”

“Have they said anything about getting you out of bed?” Castle opened the drawer and removed the bottle of lotion before squeezing a small amount in his hand. He then began to expertly massage the calf of her right leg.

“They said that I still have too many IV’s. You know, before this happened, what you’re doing would count as foreplay,” she couldn’t resist grinning at him.

“And it will again. Uh, I told Ryan.”

“You told Ryan what? Rick, please tell me that you didn’t!”

One of Kate’s monitors began beeping loudly in protest. “Kate, it’s okay. Relax. He wanted to come in and question you. He and Shaw. I swore him to secrecy.”

“You know that I’m going to have to talk to them eventually. Baby or no baby. What did you tell him?”

“I told him about Brown being in the apartment that night when we came home. He was checking our security.”

“I know that now. And I should’ve known it, then. God, Rick, we were so fucking stupid.”

“Not stupid. Hopeful,” he began rubbing her other leg. “We thought that Caleb was our best chance at getting LokSat.”

“He was our best chance, all right. Why doesn’t she call, Castle? Did they find her?”

“I don’t know. Maybe she can’t get a call out.”

“Or maybe she’s dead.”

“No. Everybody was with us, except for Brown.”

“Maybe there are more of them out there. Are we going to be looking over our shoulders for the rest of our lives? How are we going to go on the run with an infant?”

“Kate, you need to calm down.”

“Stop telling me to calm down, Castle! How could I have done this to us? I thought that I was being careful!”

“Are you talking about LokSat now or the baby?” He replaced the blanket over her legs and fixed her with an angry scowl.

“You really want to fight about this now?”

“No. But apparently you do.”

“No,” she shook her head. “Don’t you understand? This is why I had to leave you. I knew that it wouldn’t do any good. And now I’ve almost managed to get all three of us killed.”

“Kate, listen to me,” he moved so that he was sitting on the edge of her bed. “You didn’t do anything wrong. We thought that we were doing everything right. Caleb Brown made us believe that he was on our side. Nothing that he said that night set off any alarm bells. He seemed as scared as we were.”

“Didn’t it strike you as odd how Mason Wood just showed up out of nowhere that morning? The only way he could’ve known where we were was by tracking that cell phone that Caleb gave me.”

“Or Caleb told him,” Castle added.

“And why did he insist on giving us burner phones?”

“To keep tabs on us. That’s how he knew I’d left the P.I. office.”

“Why, Castle? Why did you leave? You were safe there.”

“I needed to be with you.”

“What time did you leave the P.I. office?”

“Uh, I don’t remember. It was mid-afternoon. Why?”

“I got the call at about seven o’clock. Wood called me after they had taken you to that building. Everything that happened that morning was meant to lead to that last moment in the basement.”

“How did you know he was LokSat? Or that you thought he was LokSat at the time?”

“I don’t know. When I got off the phone, something just seemed off. It screamed set-up. I can’t explain it any better than that. I actually think I knew that something was off when he showed up in the taco truck that morning.”

“Mr. Castle?” Castle turned to find his doctor standing in the doorway. “Are you ready to go to a regular room?”

“Uh, can you just give me the room number? I’d like to spend some more time with my wife.”  
  


“Why do I get the feeling that although you’re being moved to a regular room, you’re never going to be in that room?”

“You can move me in with him,” Kate looked hopeful at the suggestion.

“Mrs. Castle, right now you’re right where you need to be. At least for another few days. Mr. Castle, let me get you moved. I promise that you can return the second I’m gone.”

“I have a feeling he’s not going to leave unless I agree to go with him,” Castle whispered to Kate before standing up. “I’ll be back as soon as I can,” he pressed his lips to her forehead, before leaving to follow his doctor.

“Rick?” She called out to him.

“Yeah?” He turned to look at her.

“Can you send someone in?”

“Yeah.”

***CCC***

“Let me get this straight,” Chief Gates looked at the group once again gathered around the conference table. “Mr. Castle had help from this man—”

“Jackson Hunt,” Ryan filled in the blanks.

“Mr. Hunt helped get Alexis back and this man is claiming to be Mr. Castle’s father.”

“Yes, sir. This woman, Rita, was helping Kate and Vikram Singh back in the fall. According to Castle, she claims to be married to Hunt.”

“That isn’t quite true,” Vikram interrupted. “We were being attacked by a squad of gun-wielding maniacs and she showed up in the nick of time to save our asses.”

“This Rita person was the one who told you what LokSat was?”

“Yes, sir.”

“How long were you in her company?”

“A few hours. She left us and right after that was when Castle and Hayley found us.”

“Do we know if there are any other members of this organization out there?”

“Not unless Mason Wood or Mr. Flynn decide to start talking. Right now, that isn’t happening,” Ryan reported.

“They’re all dead,” the group turned toward the now opened doorway to see who was addressing them. “I got a call saying that Capt. Beckett was in need of my carpet cleaning services. I thought it would be better to show up here rather than at the hospital.”  
  


“You must be Rita,” Chief Gates looked at the woman. “From what my detective has told me, you have quite the tale to tell.”

“I’ve been following the news. So has Jackson. I don’t know where he is, but I have spoken to him. Your burned body in the morgue isn’t my husband.”

“When did you speak to him last?” Agent Shaw asked.

“A few hours ago. He assured me that he’s alive and well. He also told me that his son and daughter-in-law are no longer in any danger.”

“Forgive me, Miss . . . what do I call you?”

“Rita. My last name doesn’t matter.”

“How do I even believe that you are who you say you are?”

“Castle’s mother will vouch for my husband. He was wounded just over a year ago. He sought refuge at Castle’s apartment for a short period of time. Jackson told me that Martha was there, as well. So was Kate.”

“Ryan, you need to go back to the hospital and talk to Beckett. Tell her doctor that we just need a few minutes.”

“Sir, Beckett’s in and out—”

“She seemed okay when Sorensen and I were there a little while ago. I think she can handle a few questions.”

“Espo—”

“Dude, if you don’t want to do it, we’ll go.”

“I don’t care who goes, as long as someone does. If you two can’t work it out, then I’ll go. I want to get to the bottom of this LokSat business once and for all.”

“Yes, sir,” Ryan got up and left the room with Agent Shaw.

“Ryan, if you’d rather that I talk to Beckett, I will,” Shaw offered.

“I just don’t want to upset her. Especially now.”

“We’re going to have to get a statement from her. Whether it is now or a month from now. You know how this works.”

“Then let’s go talk to Beckett,” he walked over and pressed the button for the elevator.

***CCC***

“I see that they got you moved all right,” Alexis looked around her father’s new room. “Now that you’re not in ICU, I can bring your laptop up here. What’s wrong?” She noticed that her father seemed down. “Is Kate all right?”

“Yeah. She’s sleeping right now. Now that she’s awake more, she has more time to think.”

“About what happened?” Alexis guessed.

“Yeah.”

“I think all of us are thinking about that morning a lot.”

“Are you upset with me?”

“About what?”

“About me once again sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong. I’ve done it so many times over the years where Kate’s been concerned. You’d think that I’d learn by now.”

“Dad, none of this was your fault. Yours or Kate’s. Nobody knew how deep this went. But it’s over now. Now you and Kate can start the next chapter of your lives.”

“Where have you been staying? Not at the loft,” he looked horrified at the idea.

“No. Not at the loft. ESU cleared it, but I can’t go back there. I’ve stayed with Hayley, or at the P.I. office in the secret room. Are you and Kate going to go back there?”

“No,” he was quick to shake his head. “I can’t take her back there. We’ll figure something out. I have a feeling that we’re going to have plenty of time to figure out where we’re going. How do you feel about being a big sister?”

“Dad, I’ve wanted this since I was eight years old. I can’t wait,” Alexis smiled.

Castle wanted to share his daughters’ excitement. But he was still too busy thinking about all the things that could go wrong. After all, Kate was far from being out of the woods.

***CCC***

“Mrs. Castle was given pain medication about an hour ago. I don’t know when she’ll wake up,” a no-nonsense nurse was speaking to Ryan and Shaw.

“I promise that we’ll be as brief as possible. We just need five minutes,” Ryan pleaded.

“Let me speak to Mrs. Castle first. Please wait here.” The nurse walked into Kate’s room. She walked back out several minutes later, her lips pressed together tightly. “Mrs. Castle has agreed to speak to you. Keep your visit brief and try not to upset her.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He turned to Shaw. “I’ve got her statement that Espo and I got after she came out of surgery.”

“Let’s see if she adds anything to what she already told you. We’ll be quick, Ryan. I don’t want to upset her any more than you do. I’m not a monster.”

Kate’s eyes were so heavy, but she had agreed to answer a few questions. She wasn’t sure what she could add to what she had already told the boys. “Beckett?” She slowly opened her eyes. “I’m sorry, Beckett. Chief Gates—”

“S’okay,” her voice was slurred.

“I was just wondering if you could add anything to what you told us. About that morning. Did you notice anything when you and Castle got home?”

“No. Castle went to cook breakfast. I told him to just order in, but he likes to cook,” her lips quirked at the memory of all the meals he’d cooked for her. “I was in our bedroom and Castle said something about the incinerator in Mason Wood’s office building.”

“What about it?” Jordan wanted to know.

“He was wondering why Wood didn’t burn Caleb Brown in it instead of in the trunk of the car that Ryan and Espo found. I heard something after that. I think it was Castle falling to the floor after Caleb Brown shot him. That was when I heard him talking, but I couldn’t understand what he was saying.”

“Did he know you were in the apartment?” Ryan asked.

“He had to have known. He was hiding when we walked in. I know that he heard us talking. I don’t think he was counting on me walking out when I did.”

“He was surprised?”

“Yeah. I can still see the shocked look on his face when I shot him. Is there more? Because I’m really tired.”

“Yeah, we’re done,” Shaw assured her. “Get some rest.”  
  


“I’ll be right out,” Ryan told the agent. “Beckett—”

“Castle told me that you know. Ryan, please don’t say anything yet. Not to Jenny. Not to anybody. Castle and I will tell everybody. I just want to make sure—”

“No, I get it, Beckett. But so far, everything’s okay?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s good,” Ryan smiled. “Get better soon.”

“I’m working on it.”

Kate closed her eyes, focusing on her breathing. Everything hurt. There was no way to get comfortable without something hurting. Her left arm was immobilized to allow her collarbone to heal. Her abdomen throbbed from the effects of the second bullet. This was so much worse than that sunny morning four years earlier. She just wanted the pain to go away.

When she opened her eyes again, Dr. Armstrong was standing at her bedside. “I just thought that I’d come to check on you. You had some spikes in your blood pressure earlier.”

“I think I got upset over something that my husband said.”

“How are you feeling, Kate?” The doctor pulled a chair to the bedside and sat down. “I want you to be honest.”

“I don’t know what they’re giving me for pain, but it doesn’t last long. I can’t get comfortable.”

“I’m sorry that the pain relief isn’t lasting. What else is on your mind?”

“I worry.”

“About the baby?” Kate nodded, her eyes filling with tears. “Tell me what you’re worried about. I’ll do my best to alleviate your fears.”

“Can there be things wrong?”

“Yes. But things can also go wrong in a normal pregnancy. My main concern is the amount of blood that you lost. Because you lost so much blood, so did the baby. And sometimes the effects of something like that aren’t seen until the child is older.”

“I want to be excited. But my mind won’t go there.”

“Kate, the most important thing for you to focus on is that child has a good heartbeat. After everything that happened to you that morning, this baby managed to survive it. No one can explain it. But in the years to come, when you tell your son or daughter the story of how they came to be, you can tell them what a warrior they were. The odds of them surviving this catastrophe are astronomical, but they did it.”

“My husband loves stories of unexplained phenomenon,” Kate wiped at her face with her uninjured hand, smiling when Dr. Armstrong handed her a tissue. “I have one more question.”

“What’s that?”

“What is your first name?”

“Lily,” Dr. Armstrong smiled.

“Lily,” Kate repeated it. “My mother loved lilies. So do I.”

“So did my mother. Which is why she named me Lily. Get some rest. I’ll check on you in a few days.”

“What do you think, Baby Castle? How does Lily Johanna Castle sound if you’re a little girl?” Kate brushed her fingers over her lower abdomen, wincing when she felt the gauze.

***CCC***

Chief Gates was in Kate’s office, catching up on paperwork when her cell phone rang. “Gates! What? When did this happen? Where is Mr. Flynn? Is he secure? Thank you,” she hung up and went out into the bullpen where the others were all working. “I need everybody’s attention!”

The boys and the two FBI agents turned their attention toward the Deputy Chief, as did the rest of the homicide squad. “I just received a call from Riker’s. Someone just murdered Mason Wood in his cell.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N #2: Dun Dun Dun
> 
> Follow me: Wylie.Cindy@Yahoo.com


	6. Trying to Heal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Kate continues to heal, she begins having doubts and worries concerning the baby and where the investigation is heading.

FULL CIRCLE  
Chapter 5: Trying to Heal

A week. It had been a week since that awful morning. Kate had been released from ICU two days earlier. Even though she was now in a regular private room, her recovery was still slow going. Castle had technically been released from the hospital the day before, but he refused to leave Kate’s side. The doctors had finally decided to leave him alone, knowing what the two of them had been through. 

Neither of them slept well. Kate slept in an almost upright position due to her broken collarbone, but she still couldn’t get comfortable. Castle would hear her cry out in her sleep multiple times during the night. Most nights he would get out of his own bed and get into bed with her. Those were the only times when she would truly rest. She would rest her head against his own injured shoulder and slowly drift off to sleep. 

“We need our own bed, Castle,” she murmured one night when he’d got into bed next to her.

“We’ll get out of here soon. You just need to get a little stronger.”

“What if they’re coming after us?”

“Who?”

“Them. The ones who killed Wood.”

“Kate, I’ll hire an army if that’s what it takes to keep us safe.”

“Have you seen the loft?”

She’d asked him that question several times since his release. Had he seen it? How bad was it? Where were they going to go? He’d never seen Kate’s confidence so badly shaken. “It’s bad,” he told her, the same answer he gave every time. “We’re going to figure this out, Kate.”

“He’s really dead?”

“Kate, you shot him three times at center mass. Believe me, he’s dead.”

“I need proof, Castle.”

Was she insane? Did she want him to dig up Brown’s body? It had to be the pain medication. That was it, he told himself. Only he knew that they had cut back Kate’s meds in the last few days. Now she only got pain medication when she asked for it. And he had noticed that she rarely asked for it. She would get him to distract her with funny stories or gentle caresses when the pain got to be too much.   
“Kate, I don’t know—”

“Call Lanie and tell her that I want to see pictures.”

“You want me to call Lanie and tell her to bring you pictures of Caleb Brown’s body?”

“I have to know, Castle.”

“Kate, the boys told you that he was dead—”

“I have to know,” she repeated.

“Okay. I’ll call Lanie in the morning. Now try to sleep.”

“I know that it hurts when I sleep against you. But you never say anything.”

“Kate, I don’t care how you sleep against me. When I feel the pain, it reminds me that you’re alive. And that we’re getting a second chance to be a family,” he smiled.

“A family,” she took his hand and pressed it to her abdomen. “Like my mom’s elephants.”

“Just like your mom’s elephants,” he kissed her temple. “Rest.”

The next morning, he slipped out of the narrow bed and grabbed his phone before going out into the corridor and calling Lanie. After he explained what Kate wanted, he felt himself giving in to the grief and exhaustion that had been his constant companion over the last several days. “She’s losing it, Lanie! Why won’t she believe that he’s dead?”

“Sweetie, a lot happened that morning in a brief period. Some of it she remembers, but most of it she doesn’t. Give her time. Give yourself time, too.”

“Lanie, I remember everything that happened that morning. Every second of it.”

“I’m sure that she does too, Castle. She just can’t face up to it.”

Castle remembered the interrogation room four years earlier when Kate had been questioning a young man after the Boylan Plaza bombing when she’d blurted out that she remembered every second of her shooting. “I’ll talk to you later, Lanie,” he ended the call and walked back into the room just as Kate was struggling to sit up. “Hold on. You’re not supposed to be getting out of bed without assistance.”

“Well, it was either go to the bathroom by myself, or wet the bed. I haven’t done the latter since I was three,” she allowed Castle to help her to her feet and walk with her to the bathroom. “I think I’ve got this part, Castle.”

“Do you want to get dressed? Mother brought some dresses by last night. They don’t have waistbands.”

He could hear the water running. “You just want to see me naked,” she opened the bathroom door and accepted his elbow as he escorted her back to her bed.

“I always want to see you naked.”

“Castle, I have a hideous scar to go with my other hideous scars.”

“I told you once that your scars are what make you a warrior. Kate, we survived that morning.”

“I still don’t understand how.”

“We obviously have a powerful guardian angel.”

Sitting on the edge of her bed, Kate looked at Castle with huge dark eyes full of tears. Suddenly the dam broke and she turned into his shoulder, much like she had after she’d told him how she’d coped when he was missing. He slipped his arm around her and held her, waiting for her to speak. “I thought that you were dead. I walked out and you were on the floor. He was standing over you. I thought that I had lost you.”

“Me, too,” he whispered, his tears falling into Kate’s hair. “When you fell. I could see you out of the corner of my eye and the only thing that I knew was I had to get to you. But I couldn’t move. Everything hurt. Then I heard you moving.”

“I could hear you gasping . . . for breath. I couldn’t let you die alone, Castle. I told Mason Wood that night that you’re the love of my life. I can’t live without you, Rick,” she finally looked up at him. “Me, you, and Lily. We’re going to be a family.”

“Lily?”

“That’s Dr. Armstrong’s first name. My mom loved lilies. And the first time you brought me flowers, you brought me lilies. Please tell me that you like it. Because I’m not choosing another name.”

“Lily Castle,” he smiled. “Can we call her Cosmo as a nickname?”

“No, Castle.”

“Good morning, you two,” Martha greeted them from the doorway with a plastic container in her hand. “I brought your usual, Katherine. A strawberry banana smoothie.”

“Thank you, Martha,” Kate accepted the cup and the straw that Martha handed to her. “This is good. Not as good as coffee, but good.”

“The doctors want you to eat real food,” Castle reminded her as Kate made a face.

“Leave her alone. She’s getting calories and that’s what matters right now. I brought you some lovely sundresses. Did Richard tell you?”

“He mentioned that you’d brought me some dresses.”

“I know that you’re still not feeling great but getting dressed always made me feel much better.”

“Mother, why don’t we let Kate enjoy her smoothie in peace?” Castle gently guided Martha out of the room. “Mother, you heard her doctor. He wants Kate to start eating. So does Dr. Armstrong.”

“But Dr. Armstrong has also stated that she just wants Kate to start taking in some calories. It’s strawberries, bananas, and Greek yogurt. It’s healthy. What else is bothering you? You look tired.”

“That’s because I am tired, Mother.”

“Richard, I know that you want to be with Katherine, but she’s on the mend now. I know it’s still going to be several days before she’s released, but maybe you can spend your days trying to figure out where you’re going to live when she is released.”

“Mother, I don’t intend to be any further away from Kate than I have to.”

***CCC***

“Perlmutter, I’m heading to the hospital to visit Kate,” Lanie announced. 

“I’ll try to hold down the fort while you’re gone,” he muttered sarcastically.

Lanie could see Perlmutter sitting at his desk, poring over a thick file folder. “What are you looking at?” She walked over to his desk and was instantly shocked when she saw what he was looking at. “Are those the crime scene pictures from Riker’s?”

“Mason Wood. Yes,” he looked up. “When I saw them, the wound patterns looked familiar. Do you remember back a year or so ago when Beckett was found in the woods?”

“Yeah. When she encountered Vulcan Simmons. What about it?”

“These are the photos of the man that was found in the woods with Beckett. Look at the wound to his neck,” he moved the pictures in front of Lanie, and brought his huge magnifying glass over. “Now, take a look at the wound to Mason Wood’s neck.”

“They were made by the same weapon. Have you called Gates about this?”

“I was about to. What’s in there?” He pointed to the file folder that Lanie had set on the edge of the desk.

“Beckett wants proof that Caleb Brown is dead. I’m taking her the autopsy photos.”

“Why doesn’t she believe that he’s dead? She shot him three times in the chest.”

“I don’t know, Perlmutter. Maybe because the asshole shot her twice after he shot her husband. Let me know what Gates says.”

“Dr. Parish?” Lanie turned around. “Tell Beckett and Mr. Castle that I hope they get better soon.”

“Thanks, Perlmutter.”

Once she left, Perlmutter took out his cell phone and called Chief Gates. “Chief Gates, this is Perlmutter in the M.E.’s office. I’ll be at the precinct in about 20 minutes. There’s something that you need to see.”

***CCC***

Kate had dozed off after Martha’s visit, only to be awakened by footsteps. She opened her eyes to find Dr. Davila standing by her bed making notes on his tablet. “I see that you didn’t touch your breakfast,” he nodded at the untouched tray by her bed. 

“Have you seen the crap that passes for food in this place? My mother-in-law brought me a breakfast smoothie. I drank about half of it,” she nodded at the cup on the table beside the bed.

“How’s the pain been? I see that you’ve been refusing medication.”

“I’m incubating a small human. He or she gets whatever I get.”

“Mrs. Castle, I’ve already assured you that the pain medication that we’ve been giving you will do no harm to your unborn child.”

“But you don’t know that for sure, do you? Dr. Armstrong has already told me that there’s a possibility that the blood loss could have affected the baby.”

“Yes, that is a possibility. But you aren’t doing your baby any good if you’re in pain. If you need something for pain, please ask for it. Okay?”

“Fine.”

“We’ll talk about your refusal to eat later.”

“I’m not refusing to eat. I’m just refusing to eat this . . . stuff.”

“What time is your PT today?”

“He should be here in about an hour.”

“I’ll see if I can find you something more appetizing to eat before Joe gets here,” the doctor couldn’t help smiling as he left the room.

***CCC***

“What are we doing here, Rick?” Hayley joined Castle in front of the loft. “You wanted me to meet you here. Why?”

“I’m not sure, yet,” Castle unlocked the door and entered the foyer. Although most of the carnage had been cleaned up, when he closed his eyes, he could still see how it looked the first time he had entered after he’d been released from the hospital.

“How is Kate?”

“She’s struggling. Every day she asks me how bad the loft is. Every day, I give her the same answer. Why does she keep asking me? My answer’s never going to change.”

“This was your home. Your safe place. That was taken away. There’s nothing either of you can do to change that. All you can do now is move forward.”

“How do we do that, Hayley? I can’t bring her back here. I mean, it looks great now, but I can still see how it looked when I came here with Mother. I know that’s all that Kate is going to see, too.”

“Like I said, you have to find a way to move forward. Do you remodel your current home and make it fresh again or do you start all over somewhere else?”

“What would you do?” He asked his friend.

“Let me tell you something my mother used to say to me. You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still going to be a pig.”

“I raised my daughter here,” he began walking around. “She took her first steps in this very room.”

“So, you’ll raise your future children in a new home. You’ll watch them take their first steps in a new place. There’s nothing wrong with that, Rick.”

He was about to go to his and Kate’s bedroom when his cell phone rang. He looked at his phone but didn’t recognize the number. “Hello?”

“Richard,” the voice of Jackson Hunt came over the line. “Can we meet? I’m at a coffeehouse on the corner. I know that you’re with Hayley. Bring her with you. Five minutes.” The line went dead.

“Who was it? Is it Kate?”

“No. That was Jackson Hunt. He wants us to meet him in five minutes.”

“Whatever for?”

“Who knows? But I’ve learned that it’s better to just do as he says. Come on.”

“I hope he isn’t going to deliver more bad news.”

When they walked into the coffeeshop a few minutes later, it wasn’t hard to pick Jackson Hunt out of the small group of people sitting at tables or in booths. The white hair, ball cap, and dark glasses made him stand out. Castle and Hayley slid into the booth across from him. “Hello, Richard. Ms. Shipton, good to see you again,” he smiled at Hayley.

“What do you want?” Castle came right to the point. “Have you spoken to your wife?”

“I spoke to Rita this morning. We’re hoping to reconnect while we’re both here in town,” he gave Castle a leering grin, which just made Castle roll his eyes. “She said that you were asking if there was anybody left in the LokSat organization. The answer is no.”

“Did you arrange for Mason Wood to be taken out?”

“As much as I would love to lie and say that was all me, the answer is no. However, I can tell you this much. Taking out Mason Wood had nothing to do with what happened to you and Kate. Taking out Mason Wood was revenge for Senator Bracken.”

“You know who killed Bracken?” Hayley asked.

“Oh, I’ve had an idea about who killed him for quite some time. Don’t worry. All of the pieces will fall into place soon enough.”

“Why are you here?”

“To let you know that you and Kate are safe. You have nothing more to worry about from LokSat. That threat has been neutralized. I don’t know if or when you’ll be seeing me again.”

“You called me here just to tell me that?”

“Yes,” he stood up and laid several bills on the table. “One more thing, Richard. Tell Kate to lose that card with Rita’s number on it. It’ll no longer be of any use to her or to anybody else.”

And with those parting words, he was gone. Once he left, Hayley moved to the opposite side of the booth and watched Rick, who rubbed his eyes wearily. “Wow,” he finally sighed. “How do you buy a Father’s Day card for someone like that? The last time I saw him, he pulled one of his disappearing acts on us. I remember going home and my mother was standing at the window, just staring out. I remember telling her that he had never been worth her time. Forty years, Hayley. For more than 40 years, she wondered where he had disappeared to. When I was a kid, she would tell me the most fantastic stories about him. But I knew that she was always hurt by the not knowing.”

“Are you going to tell her that you saw him again?”

“No. I’ll tell Kate this chapter of our lives is closed and over. I guess I’ll pack up my old life and put it in storage. Kate and I will find a new place to start the next chapter of our life together.”

“I know some military movers. They do this for a living. They can get your stuff moved while Kate is still in the hospital.”

“Thank you, Hayley,” he gave her the first genuine smile she had seen in days.

***CCC***

“Girl, you look so much better than you did a few days ago,” Lanie breezed into the room and over to Kate’s bed, giving her friend a gentle hug, being mindful of the sling and brace she was wearing for her broken collarbone. “Where’s Castle?”

“He had errands. He texted and said that he’ll be back in about an hour or so.”

“He called me this morning and said you want to see proof that Caleb Brown is dead.”

“I have to know, Lanie. I can remember everything else from that morning, but I can’t remember shooting him.”

“Thank goodness that you did, or nobody would’ve found you and Castle for hours. Your shots were what made your neighbor call 9-1-1. I have the pictures from the scene and I also have the autopsy photos,” Lanie handed the folder to Kate.

Kate opened the folder on top of her portable table and bit back a gasp when she saw the first pictures. Caleb Brown was in an upright position against the kitchen wall, a long streak of reddish-brown right behind his head. The look on his face said it all. Sheer shock and horror that he had been beat at his own game. “Has Castle seen these?”   
“No, but he hasn’t asked to see them. Have they said when you’re going to be released?”

“Not for several more days. I can’t walk more than a few steps without assistance. And I don’t want to eat.”

“I thought that might be an issue,” Lanie smiled before producing a bag of Gummy bears from inside of her bag. “Maybe this will help.”

“Thank you.”

“Uh, Kate? Do you remember when you were in that house in Scarsdale?”

“When I was found in the woods?” Lanie nodded. “What about it?”

“I was leaving to come up here and Perlmutter was looking at the pictures of Mason Wood in his cell. Kate, whoever killed him was also the person who killed that guy we found in the woods with you. The wounds were made by the same weapon.”

“Elena Markov killed that guy in the woods. She slit his throat and told me that Lazarus owed me because I had saved his life. Lazarus was William Bracken. It had to be. Have they got the surveillance from the prison?”

“No.”

“She vanished before the police arrived that morning. She was a contract killer, Lanie. It would be very possible for her to infiltrate Riker’s. It was what she did.”

“We’re looking into it, sweetie. Right now, be patient and let the boys and Chief Gates do their jobs.”

“I’m tired of being patient, Lanie. I’m used to being a detective.”

“I know. But right now, be patient. Let Castle take care of you for a little while. Believe me, before too long, you’ll be right back to kicking ass and taking names.”

“Knock, knock,” Kate looked over Lanie’s shoulder to see Dr. Armstrong standing there. “I came to check on you before I go upstairs. I didn’t know that you had company.” She walked over and extended her hand to Lanie. “I’m Dr. Armstrong. I’m Kate’s OB/GYN.”

“I’m Dr. Lanie Parish. I’m Kate’s best friend.” Lanie’s eyes got huge when she looked at Kate before turning her attention back to Dr. Armstrong. “Wait! Did you say that you’re an OB/GYN?”

“I did,” Dr. Armstrong nodded.

“Girl, are you . . . oh my god!” Lanie jumped up and hugged Kate tightly. “You’re having a baby?”

“Lanie, not so hard. Broken collarbone, remember?”

“I’m sorry,” Lanie released her friend. “Is everything okay?”

“So far, so good. Lanie, don’t tell Espo. We’re going to tell everybody soon. Castle accidentally told Kevin, but we don’t want anyone else knowing just yet. Promise me?”

“Were you going to tell me?” Lanie looked slightly hurt.

Kate realized that Castle had told Ryan because he was his closest friend. Lanie was her best friend. She had seen her through so much over the past 10 years. She had every right to know about the baby. “Yeah, I was going to tell you. You’re my best friend.”

“How are you feeling, Kate? Dr. Davila said you’re still not eating. While the smoothies from your mother-in-law are providing you calories, you need to try to eat some real food.”

“I take it that by real food you don’t mean gummy bears?” Kate held up the bag.

“You need something from the four main food groups. Sugar is not a food group.”

“Is there anything that you feel like eating?” Lanie asked.

“Tacos,” Kate blurted out.

“Are tacos okay?” Lanie asked the doctor.

“It’s not ideal, but it’s food.”

“I’ve got this,” Lanie pulled out her phone and hit a name in her contacts. “Hey, Writer Boy. Are you on your way back to the hospital? Everything’s fine. Bring your wife some tacos. I’m sure that you know from where. Okay. We’ll see you soon. Oh, and Castle? I wouldn’t exactly turn down a couple of tacos, either. Bye.”

“She’s a good friend,” Dr. Armstrong smiled at Kate.

“The best,” Kate agreed.

“I’ll see you in a couple of days, Kate,” Dr. Armstrong turned to leave the room.

“I’ll be right back, Kate,” Lanie got up and followed the doctor from the room. “Excuse me? Dr. Armstrong?”

“Yes?”

“I’m a Medical Examiner, so I know my medicine. I know that you can’t give me specifics. I just have to know if the baby’s okay.”

“The baby is doing fine. It’ll do better if we can get its mother to start eating. Like I told Kate, every day that she keeps that baby inside is a small victory.”

“Not to mention a damn miracle.”

“That, too. It was nice meeting you, Dr. Parish.”

“You, too.”

Kate was looking wistful when Lanie walked back in. “What did she tell you?”

“That you and the baby are doing great. But you need to eat. How do you feel?”

“I hurt and I’m terrified. Alexis said that you and the boys found us.”

“Sweetie, we don’t need to talk about that now,” Lanie came back and sat down. “Girl, you’re going to be a mama.”

“I’m still having a hard time wrapping my head around that one. I mean, Castle and I have talked about having a baby. But by talking, I mean a few years in the future. Not after getting shot in my living room.”

“If I remember my biology, I think that it happened some time before you got shot in your living room.”

“We were so careful. But I had dental work done back in March and I was on antibiotics. I’ve read that antibiotics can make birth control less effective.”

“That’s true. Kate, it’s okay to be scared and uncertain. That doesn’t mean that you’re not happy.”

“Lanie, that’s just it. I want to be happy, but this baby may not be healthy.”

“Kate, you can’t let your mind go that direction. You have to keep telling yourself that this baby is going to be perfect. Have you talked to Rick about this?”

“No,” she shook her head. “He’s so happy, Lanie. He loves being a father. I hate being a Debbie Downer.”

“You’re afraid. Give Castle a chance. He knows you better than anybody. Talk to him. Give your fears a voice.”

“I brought tacos for everybody,” Castle walked into the room, followed by Hayley, who was carrying two plastic bags. 

After everybody ate and chatted for a little while, Lanie and Hayley could see that Kate was tiring, so they said their goodbyes and left, leaving Kate and Castle alone. “I need a shot, Castle, but can you wait just a few minutes before you get someone?”

“Sure. What’s on your mind?”

“Lanie knows. Dr. Armstrong came by and introduced herself to her.”

“She knows? About the baby?”

“What? You told Ryan!”

“That was an accident!”

“So was this!”

“What? The baby or Lanie finding out about the baby?”

“Castle, I don’t want to fight.”

“Neither do I,” he got up and began to walk between the two beds.

“I’m scared, Castle.”

“I know,” he came back and sat on the edge of her bed.

“No, you don’t. I’m carrying this small being inside of me and I don’t know how to feel about it. I love you, and under normal circumstances, I’d be happy to be carrying this part of you. This something that we created because we love each other. But my mind keeps going to that dark place. That place that keeps whispering that everything might not be okay. That thought terrifies me, Castle.”

“Me, too. But we’ll face it, Kate.”

“How?”

“By doing what we’re doing now. Talking. It’s okay to be scared, Kate. We’ll talk about this some more, but right now, you need something for pain. And I have stuff to do at the P.I. office. Hayley said Vikram might have something.”

“Are you going to go to the Twelfth?”

“I don’t know. Why?”

“Because Perlmutter found something, too. You need to talk to the boys.”

“Okay,” he stood up and pushed the button on her bedrail. “Rest. I’ll be back in a few hours. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Halfway to the door, he turned and came back over to the bed just as a nurse walked in with Kate’s pain medication. “And if you wake up and need me, here is where I will be,” he bent down and pressed his lips to her forehead. “Take good care of her, Sarah.”

“I will, Mr. Castle,” the nurse smiled, handing a pill and a cup of water to Kate. “That man is crazy about you.”

“I’m crazy about him, so we’re a matched set.”

“Get some sleep.”

***CCC***

Instead of going to the P.I. office first as he’d intended, Castle stopped by his mother’s acting school. He walked in, past the large portrait of Chet Palliburton on his way to Martha’s office at the end of the corridor. He lightly tapped on the door before walking in. 

Martha looked up from some scripts that she was reading, smiling when she saw her son. “Richard, this is a lovely surprise,” she got up and walked over, greeting Castle with a kiss to the cheek. “Is everything all right?”

“Yeah . . . no. I’m . . . not sure,” he walked over and sat in the chair across from her desk.

“Talk to me, kiddo,” Martha walked over and perched on the edge of her desk. “Is it Katherine?”

“I’m not sure how she feels about the baby. When we talk about it, she only focuses on the things that could go wrong. We stop talking because we both start getting angry.”

“Richard, I think what Katherine is feeling is perfectly normal.”

“You think predicting doom for our child is perfectly normal?”

“Yes. Especially considering what the two of you have been through. Richard, she was shot twice. You were shot. You both nearly died. She keeps hearing all these medical people telling her that they don’t understand how this pregnancy has remained intact. Her OB/GYN has told her that every day she keeps this baby inside is a victory. That would be enough to make anybody’s head spin. What else is on your mind?”

“I went to the loft earlier with Hayley. I’m going to put everything in storage and have the place renovated. Once the renovation is complete, I’m going to put the loft on the market. I’ll find Kate and I a new place to live.”

“Where will you stay in the meantime?”

“I haven’t figured that part out, yet. We could stay at The Four Seasons or The Plaza, I guess.”

“Have you discussed any of this with Kate?”

“No. But I know she’s not going to want to go back to the loft.”

“She isn’t going to want to or you don’t want to? Has she seen the loft?”

“No. But every day she asks me how bad it is. How do I tell her that there are huge blood stains in our living room and in our kitchen?”

“The same way that you just told me. Richard, you and Katherine need to stop dancing around the areas of that awful morning just because they’re painful to talk about. You need to just rip that band-aid off and talk.”

“Thank you, Mother,” he got to his feet and kissed her on the cheek. 

“Where are you going now?”

“To the P.I. office. I need to touch base with Hayley and Vikram.”

On his way out, Castle pulled out his cell phone and called Hayley. “Hayley, I’m on my way to the office. I should be there in half an hour.”

“Scratch coming here,” Hayley told him. “You need to come to the precinct. There are things that you need to see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N #1: If I don’t end chapters in cliffhangers, my chapters will run on forever. This should be the last cliffhanger for a while.
> 
> Follow me:
> 
> Facebook: Wylie.Cindy@Yahoo.com


	7. The Plot Thickens

**FULL CIRCLE**

**Chapter 6: The Plot Thickens**

Ryan met Castle when he stepped off the elevator on the fourth floor of the Twelfth. “Everybody’s in the conference room,” Ryan led him down the hall to the conference room.

When the two men walked into the room, Castle saw that Hayley, Vikram, and Alexis were there. So was Dr. Perlmutter, Agents Sorenson and Shaw from the FBI, Esposito, and Deputy Chief Gates. A large computer screen was at the front of the room. “Thank you for joining us, Mr. Castle,” Chief Gates turned to her computer screen and tapped a few keys. “Dr. Perlmutter called us earlier after he had a chance to look at Mason Wood’s autopsy photos as well as the pictures of the crime scene. Vikram notified us after he received surveillance footage from Winterkill Prison.”

“Winterkill?”

“Senator Bracken’s murder. We thought that the system was down, but that turned out to be a lie.”

“His death is connected to Wood?” Castle sat beside Alexis and poured a glass of water from a pitcher in the center of the table.

“No. At least it doesn’t appear that way. However, his death is connected to yours and Capt. Beckett’s shooting.”

The video footage that came up on the computer screen was dark and grainy. After a moment or two, Senator Bracken’s features became visible. The senator was in a small cell, and he was clearly agitated.

“This was after he assaulted the guard and was moved to solitary confinement,” Vikram explained what they were seeing. “You don’t see anything unusual for eight minutes and 31 seconds. If you want, you can fast forward to that point.”

Gates pressed the fast-forward symbol and moved the video up to eight minutes and 31 seconds. “Someone just opened his cell,” Hayley pointed as a sliver of light poured onto the screen.

There was no audio, but none was needed for what happened 20 seconds after the door into the cell was opened. Bracken fell back into the wall, blood pouring from a wound on his chest. His attacker then stood over the fallen prisoner and with a final sweeping motion, slid the blade across Bracken’s throat. The assailant then turned to exit the cell. “Pause it,” Vikram instructed.

“He’s trying to keep his face hidden, but that’s Caleb Brown,” Castle said.

“Unfortunately, we don’t have any surveillance footage of Wood’s murder, but I noticed similarities in the wound patterns to the man that the police found dead in the woods near Scarsdale just over two years ago.”

“Elena Markov?”

“The wounds made to Mason and the man in the woods are a match. They were made by the same weapon.”

“How could she have infiltrated Riker’s without anyone noticing?” Alexis wanted to know.

“Because she was part of the staff,” Espo slid a folder across the table. “Only she went under the name of Elizabeth Bennett. She’d been working at Riker’s as a guard for the past six months. My guess is she was just waiting for an opportunity for either Wood or one of his cronies to show up.”

“Elizabeth Bennett? Really?” Hayley bit back a chuckle.

“What’s so funny?” Espo clearly wasn’t getting the joke.

“Elizabeth Bennett was the female protagonist in the novel ‘Pride and Prejudice,’” Alexis filled them in. “But I guess that’s what happens when you infiltrate a male-dominated workforce that doesn’t read classic literature. No one gives your phony name a second glance.”

“Where is Elizabeth Bennett now?” Castle asked.

“She’s in the wind,” Sorenson looked down at his clasped hands. “She had a sudden family emergency shortly before Wood was found in his cell. Her cell is going straight to voicemail and her apartment is empty.”

“Did they find anything at her place?”

“Castle, I just said it was empty. There wasn’t so much as a bread crumb. The place was clean as a whistle. Like no one had ever lived there.”

“Had she been there?”

“Yes. The super said she had moved in six months ago under the Bennett alias. He said she moved in with furniture. Neighbors never heard or saw anything.”

“How do you move out without anyone noticing? Even if she did it in the middle of the night, somebody would’ve heard it.”

“Your guess is as good as ours. Our guess is Wood’s murder was retribution for Bracken. Didn’t Beckett say that Markov worked for him?” Ryan looked at Castle.

“She worked for Lazarus. At the time that Beckett was found, we didn’t know who Lazarus was. We only put it together after you guys learned where Simmons’ money was being funneled to.”

“Would she have returned to Russia?” Hayley asked. “It says here that she was born in Russia. Would she return there?”

“Possibly, but not likely. We’ve put out a BOLO and we’ll contact Interpol just in case,” Shaw got up to leave the room.

“She didn’t murder Wood out of revenge,” Castle continued staring at the computer screen. “She was a contract killer. A contract killer never makes their work personal.”

“What are you saying, Castle?” Espo wanted to know.

“He’s saying that someone hired her,” Sorensen sat back in his chair. “But who?”

“I have a pretty good idea.”

“Rick? Do you think he hired her?”

“Ms. Shipton, is there something that you and Mr. Castle would care to share with the rest of the class?” Gates was barely suppressing her irritation.

“We saw Jackson Hunt this morning at a coffee shop near my loft. He was only there for a few minutes, but he made it clear that we would never see or hear from him again.”

“Jackson Hunt? Is this the man that Ryan and Esposito were telling me about? The man who helped you rescue Alexis in Paris?”

“Yes. The man who claims to be my father. I think that he hired Elena Markov to take out Wood. I can’t prove it, but he did say that there was no more threat from anybody associated with the LokSat organization.”

“We still need to find Elena Markov,” Shaw once more turned to leave the room. “And Jackson Hunt.”

“You won’t ever find either of them. Contract killers are ghosts and ghosts can never be found. Jackson Hunt was former CIA. They also know how to become invisible.”

***CCC***

When Kate opened her eyes, Martha was sitting at her bedside, looking through an old issue of Cosmo. “They have some interesting quizzes in here. Have you ever taken any of them?” Martha closed the magazine and pressed a button on Kate’s bedrail to raise the head of the bed.

“I used to. Don’t you have a class, or did Rick ask you to stop by?”

“My class ended an hour ago. I’m not sure where Richard is, but he didn’t ask me to stop by. However, I did bring you something.”

“More dresses?”

“No. Something far better,” Martha reached into her bag and brought out a small stuffed elephant that had seen better days from the look of it. Its brown fur was well worn, and one ear appeared to have been gnawed on by rats.

“There has to be a story associated with this elephant. Am I right?”

“When I discovered that I was pregnant with Richard, I had just moved to New York. I was a struggling actress who was surviving by taking any job that I could find. I could barely support myself, and here I was about to have a baby. When I told my mother, she told me that she never wanted to see me again. She couldn’t believe that I had brought that kind of shame on my family.”

“Martha, I’m so sorry.”

“I won’t deny that it hurt. It hurt me to my very core. But I wouldn’t even consider abortion. I briefly considered giving him up for adoption. But then I felt him kick for the first time and it made it so real. When I felt him kick that first time, I made a vow there and then that I would give him the very best life that I was able. He might not have a father or grandparents in his life, but he would always have me. When I was walking home from the subway after feeling him kick for the first time, I walked by this little toy shop and I saw this little elephant in the window,” she picked up the stuffed toy and examined it. “Richard carried it everywhere for the first three years of his life. When he outgrew it, I considered throwing it away or donating it, but then I decided to hold onto it. When Alexis was born, I found it and gave it to Richard for Alexis. She was the one who chewed the one ear.”

“For some reason, I thought the worn ear would be from Rick,” Kate chuckled.

“I know that you’re wondering where I’m going with this story. I know that you’re scared. You’d be insane not to be scared, Katherine. But I didn’t have anybody when I was pregnant with Richard. I was literally alone. And Richard only had me when Alexis was born. He couldn’t count on Meredith. But you have a huge support system, Kate. Not just me and Richard. But your father, Alexis, your wonderful friends. Together, we will help you through this. This child is already surrounded with so much love and it isn’t even here, yet. Imagine what it’s going to be like when the baby gets here. You have to keep telling yourself that everything is going to be fine. This baby is still inside of you for a reason.”

“Does Castle say anything to you?”

“Nothing except that he’s scared, too.”

“Sometimes I find myself thinking about what the baby will look like. But then I remember everything that happened to me and my mind just goes to a really dark place. I can’t help it, Martha. It just happens.”

“I know, darling. Have you talked to Dr. Armstrong about this?”

“She told me that there’s a possibility that the baby will be affected by the blood loss. She said there’s no way to know right away. I know that Castle is excited about having another child. I feel like such a horrible person,” Kate threw herself back against her pillow.

“When I was pregnant with Richard, I used to have this one recurring nightmare,” Martha remembered. “There was a blinding snowstorm and I was wandering the streets in rags, clutching my baby to my chest searching for shelter. I kept passing by an orphanage where there were these children standing at an iron fence with their arms extended, begging for food. It was a nightmare straight out of a Dickens novel. I would wake up and wonder how on earth I was going to care for a baby when I could barely take care of myself. I even considered going to my mother and falling on my sword. I vowed that I’d beg her to forgive me if it meant that my child wouldn’t go hungry.”

“But you managed to raise him. You did everything right, Martha. He’s such a good man.”

“My dear, that’s despite me, not because of me. And believe me, he wasn’t always the man that you see today. What do you think your mother would have to say?”

“That’s not fair, Martha,” tears welled up in Kate’s eyes.

“Life isn’t fair, Kate. What would she have to say?” She repeated the question.

“She’d tell me to stop with the pity party. And she’d tell me that for my sake, my child better not turn out like me. Although if it did, it would be revenge for everything that I put her and my dad through during my teen years. Did you ever wish that you had your family’s support while Rick was growing up?”

“At times. Especially when Richard first started school. He would ask me where his grandmother was. Or where his dad was. But you’re never going to have to worry about that,” Martha patted Kate’s hand. “This baby is going to know how loved it is.”

“Thank you for the elephant,” Kate picked up the bedraggled stuffed toy.

“You’re welcome, kiddo. And thank you.”

“For what?”

“For giving me another grandchild to love and spoil.”

***CCC***

It was the wonderful aroma of tomatoes and spices that woke Kate up a couple of hours later. She opened her eyes and smiled at the sight of Castle. He had picked up the elephant from Kate’s bedside table and was examining it with a puzzled look on his face. “Let me guess. My mother brought this to you.”

“Do I smell spaghetti with pomodoro sauce from Scarpetta’s?” Kate asked, ignoring Castle’s comment and reaching out for the bag in his hand.

“Scott Conant sends his love and prayers for a speedy recovery,” Castle kissed Kate on the cheek. “By the way, he sent enough for two.”

“Did you send your mother?” Kate asked, opening the container and twirling the delicious pasta around her fork.

“I thought that you could use somebody to talk to.”

“Thank you,” she smiled.

“Do you feel better now?”

“I’m still scared, but your mother reminded me that I have a huge support system. I think that it’s time that we tell everybody, Castle.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

“I can’t believe that she brought you that ugly elephant,” he made a face.

“It’s not ugly. Besides, it belonged to you and Alexis. I can’t wait until our baby starts chewing on the other ear,” she grinned.

“I would take it away from Alexis and that ear would be so soggy,” he shuddered at the memory. “Then one day it disappeared. I assumed that she’d lost it at the park or something. I had no idea that my mother had confiscated it.”

“Can I ask you a question? Did you miss not having grandparents growing up?”

“You don’t miss what you never had. When I was old enough, my mother told me the whole story. I swore that I’d never do that to Alexis. Do you remember your grandparents?”

“My mom’s parents died before I was born. But I loved my grandfather on my dad’s side. He was the one who was an amateur magician. He would perform tricks for me all the time. He died when I was 16. I miss him a lot. I don’t remember my grandmother on my dad’s side. My dad said she died when I was a baby. You realize that this baby is going to be spoiled rotten.”

“Alexis was, too. But she turned out great.”

“Yes, she did.”

Later that evening, Castle was stretched out on Kate’s bed, enjoying the quiet and the warmth of his wife pressed into his side. “What did you do this afternoon?” Kate asked, breaking the quiet of the room.

“I was at the precinct. We’ll talk more in the morning. You should get some rest.”

“Uh-uh,” she sat up. “You don’t get off that easily. Why were you at the precinct?”

“The threat from LokSat is over. We’re safe now.”

“How do you know this?”

“Elena Markov killed Mason Wood. I think that my father hired her to make sure that the threat had been neutralized.”

“You saw him?”

“Kate—”

“Only someone in the CIA would use a word like ‘neutralize’ to describe getting rid of an enemy. When did you see him, Castle?”

“This morning,” he sat up and turned on the light over the bed. “Hayley and I had gone to the loft. He called while we were there. He didn’t say much. Just that you and I were no longer in danger from anyone from LokSat. He also said to lose that card with Rita’s number because you aren’t going to need it anymore.”

“Are we ever going to see him again?”

“I don’t know. But I doubt it.”

“How do we tell this baby that one of its grandfathers is a spook?”

“We don’t. Kate, as far as I’m concerned, Jackson Hunt or whatever his real name is, is dead to me. That’s what I’ll tell the baby.”

“Why were you at the loft?”

“I’m going to put everything in storage and put the loft on the market. Even if I have the whole apartment renovated, we’re still going to know what happened. Hayley said she knows some military movers. She said they can have everything packed up in a matter of hours.”

“Where will we go?”

“I don’t know. If you’re feeling up to it, we can go to the Hamptons or we can check into a hotel. We’re going to figure this out, Kate.”

“It’s really bad.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement of fact.

“Yeah. Someone came in and cleaned up, but you can still see some of the blood stains.”

“Can I see it? When I’m discharged, I mean.”

“Kate—”

“Please, Castle? I have to see it.”

“Yeah. I’ll take you to see it. Come on,” he lay down and pulled her down beside him. “We should get some sleep.”

***CCC***

“Do you need to stop?” Jim Beckett glanced at Katie. Her face was a barely concealed mask of severe pain. It made him hurt just watching her.

“No. I need to make it to the end of the hall.”

“Katie, you don’t need to get there today. We can stop at the water fountain and then turn around. Just like we have been for the last three days.”

“Dad, if I don’t make it to the end of the hall, they’re not going to let me go home. I have to prove that I can function by myself in case Castle or Alexis aren’t home.”

“Rick told me that he’s putting the loft on the market.”

“Hayley knows some military moving guys. They’re packing everything up and putting it into storage. Come on, I need to keep moving.”

“Do you know where you’re going to stay?”

Katie stopped and reached out for the railing on the wall. Talking and walking was an impossible task right now. It was all that she could do to walk and manage to keep breathing. She was nauseous and the healing incision on her abdomen was alternating between pulling and burning due to the sweat that was trickling into it. “No. Castle said we can go to the Hamptons or we’ll stay at The Four Seasons. Maybe the Plaza.”

“Or you could stay with me.”

“With you?”

“Yeah. It’s not The Plaza or The Four Seasons, but it’s comfortable. I’m flying to London in a couple of weeks. You and Rick would have the place to yourselves until I get back.”

“How long will you be in London?”

“Two weeks. I’m taking some depositions for a class action suit I’m working on here. Plus, I’m meeting with the partners at the London office.”

“I’ll talk to Rick when he gets back.”

“Where is he, anyway?”

“I’m not sure. He had a meeting with Black Pawn and then he said something about other errands.”

Jim was about to say something when he saw Katie start to sway a little. “Katie!” He called out her name just as she crumpled to the floor. “Katie! I need some help!”

Two orderlies and a nurse appeared at their side. “Mrs. Castle?” The nurse called out Kate’s name.

“I’m okay,” Kate said, attempting to get to her feet. “My legs just got a little wobbly.”

“Here,” the nurse helped Kate to a nearby chair. “Are you experiencing any dizziness or nausea?”

“I’m nauseous,” she admitted. “Could it be morning sickness?”

“Quite possibly. Let me get your blood pressure and then we’ll get you back to your room. I’ll have Dr. Davila and Dr. Armstrong paged.”

“I have to get to the end of the hall,” she protested.

“You can try to do that later. Right now, you need to rest.”

An hour later, Kate was back in her bed with her father sitting in a chair at her bedside when Dr. Armstrong walked in. “I understand you might have fainted this morning.”

“I don’t think I lost consciousness. Dr. Armstrong, this is my father, James Beckett. Dad, this is Dr. Armstrong.”

“We’ve met,” Jim told her. “I’m going to go look for Rick.”

“How are you feeling now?” The doctor asked once Jim had left the room.

“Helpless. I want to go home. Dr. Davila has said that he won’t release me until I can safely walk around unassisted. I can’t even make it to the end of the fucking hallway without my legs turning into spaghetti!”

“Kate, I understand how you feel. But you have to remember that you were shot two weeks ago. Let me ask you something. How long did it take you to get back on your feet when you were shot in the heart?”

“Weeks.”

“And that was just one bullet. Remember that you’re dealing with two bullets this time. And you’re also dealing with additional baggage. If I were to suggest to Dr. Davila that we send you home with either a cane or a walker, would you use them? Only when you need them,” she was quick to add when she saw Kate beginning to protest. “That or maybe you could hire someone to be with you when Rick isn’t there.”

“I’d okay the cane or the walker. I don’t want anyone else in our home.”

“I’ll talk to Dr. Davila.”

“Thank you.”

Jim was standing outside of Katie’s room when he saw Rick walking toward him. “Jim, what happened? I just got your message. I was in a meeting with my publisher.”

“I know. Katie’s fine. She just got lightheaded when we were walking. She’s pushing herself too hard, Rick.”

“I know. She wants to go home.” He was about to say something further when Dr. Armstrong came out of Kate’s room. “Dr. Armstrong, is Kate okay?”

“She’s fine. She’s just in a hurry to go home. You can go in there.”

Kate was coming out of the bathroom when Castle walked in. He walked over to her and pulled her into his arms, smiling when he felt her good arm come around his waist to embrace him back. “I’m okay, Castle,” her words were muffled against his chest. “Can we take a walk?”

“Kate, you fainted—”

“I didn’t faint, Rick,” she pulled back. “My legs got wobbly and I lost my balance. I want to sit somewhere and talk. I’m tired of talking in bed.”

“Will you at least take my elbow?”

“Yes, I will take your elbow,” she smiled before tucking her hand into the crook of his arm.

They took the elevator down to the coffee shop where Castle bought a coffee for himself and a vanilla shake for Kate. They then sat across from one another at a nearby table. “Dr. Armstrong said she’ll talk to Dr. Davila about releasing me with either a cane or a walker for assistance. I told her that I don’t want a stranger in our home.”

“Did you have anything like that . . . before?”

“I was supposed to, but I refused to use them. I’ll use something this time, Castle. I want to go home,” she reached across the table for his hand. “I hate it here. I hate the noises.”

“Speaking of home, where are we going to go?”

“My dad suggested that we stay with him. He’s leaving for London soon, so we’ll have the house to ourselves. I know it’s not The Four Seasons. Maybe we’ll have something permanent by the time he comes back.”

“Alexis will probably continue staying with either Hayley or my mother—”

“Castle, I’m so sorry. I forgot about Alexis. You know that she’s more than welcome to stay there with us. My dad adores her.”

“I know, but if I know my daughter, she’ll refuse. Hopefully by the time your dad returns from London, you’ll feel strong enough to go to the Hamptons for a little while.”

“I’d love that.”

“We’re going to be okay, Kate.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	8. Going Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N #1: I know some of you are disappointed to only be getting one chapter a week. I’m doing this for a reason. Please don’t ask me to write faster. I had writer’s block for over a year. Right now, I’m happy to be writing anything, period.

**FULL CIRCLE**

**Chapter 7: Going Home**

_June 5_

“I think your chariot is here,” Castle teased when an orderly entered the room pushing a wheelchair in front of him.

“I really have to leave in that?” Kate made a face.

“The rule is if you get wheeled in, you have to get wheeled out,” one of the nurses responded. “Humor us, please?”

“Fine,” Kate huffed before sitting down in the chair. “I don’t care how I leave as long as I can get out of here.”

“That’s the spirit,” Castle placed the bag containing Kate’s belongings on her lap before stepping behind the chair. “I’ve got it from here.”

Kate was finally going home 20 days after that awful May morning. Although home for the time being was her father’s house. She kept telling herself that she didn’t care. Anything was better than the hospital room. She was armed with a list of instructions as well as dates for follow-up appointments. It was going to be a busy summer.

Castle wheeled Kate out of the hospital and handed his ticket to a valet who immediately went in search of his car. “Castle, it feels so good to feel fresh air and sunshine again,” Kate took a deep breath.

“I’m just happy to be taking you home,” he bent down and pressed his lips to hers. “Are you sure you want to go there first?”

“Castle, you promised,” she reminded him. “I have to see it.”

Castle was beginning to regret his promise to Kate that he’d take her to see the loft before they continued to her father’s house. He wasn’t sure he could face seeing his former home again. Especially now that it was empty of furniture and their belongings. He hadn’t seen the loft empty in almost 20 years. But he did have some good news on that front. News that he couldn’t wait to share with Kate.

He stepped behind the chair once again when the valet pulled up in the Buick. After generously tipping the valet, he helped Kate into the passenger seat, making sure that she was comfortable before stowing her belongings in the backseat and walking around to the driver’s side. After getting in and buckling his seatbelt, he smiled at his wife. “It feels so good to be taking you home.”

“Well, you’re taking me to my father’s house. We’re sort of between homes at the moment.”

“Not for long,” he smiled again before putting the car into gear and pulling out of the parking lot toward the loft.

“Did you find something? Without me? Castle, I thought you were going to wait.”

“No, I haven’t found anything, yet. But I do have news. I’ll tell you everything when we get settled at your dad’s.”

Kate’s father had left for London two days before. He wasn’t due back until the middle of the month, He’d told Kate before he left that he might be longer. She knew that he was trying to give them room. But she still felt like she was pushing him out of his home, just like she’d pushed Rick out of his. She hated the feeling. Everything that had happened and was happening was her fault. All of it.

It was 10 minutes later when Castle pulled into his parking space at the loft. Kate got out of the car and waited for Castle to come around. She didn’t need to use the hated cane if she had him to help her. Walking was slowly becoming easier thanks to PT, but there were times when it took every bit of energy she had just to put one foot in front of the other.

They rode the elevator upstairs in silence. Walking around the corner to the loft, Castle stood for a moment with the keys in his hand. “Castle, it’s okay,” she put her hand over his.

Castle turned the key and opened the door into what was now a massive empty space. Kate stepped in ahead of Castle, looking around with huge eyes. She then turned and walked into what had once been their bedroom. It was as empty as the rest of the apartment. She could still remember hearing the thud from the other room. The thud that had told her that something was very wrong. “I should’ve called for backup,” she walked over to the bathroom.

“They wouldn’t have arrived on time.”

“I still should’ve called. Did the movers put everything in storage?”

“Almost everything. I took some of our clothes and personal items to your dad’s.”

Kate turned and left the bedroom, returning to the living room where she stood and stared at the floor. She could still make out the dark stains that made a path to the kitchen. The kitchen floor tiles were once again pristine, but she knew how they must’ve looked that morning when they’d been found. She had been to enough murder scenes to know how much blood there had been. “How long did it take them to find us?”

“I don’t know. Espo never said.”

“I want to know.”

“Why does it matter? They found us. That’s the important thing.”

“Who called it in?”

“Mr. Harper in four. He heard the gunshots and called 9-1-1. I told him that I owe him and his wife a steak dinner for saving our lives.”

“So, you’ve talked to him?”

“Yeah. The day that I came back here for the first time.”

“He heard the gunshots, but he didn’t see Caleb Brown?”

“Kate, we still don’t know exactly how he got in. All we know is he somehow got in past the doorman. Shaw thinks he might have picked a time when the doorman was distracted. Maybe while he was hailing a cab for someone. But we don’t know for certain.”

“Was Eduardo on duty?”

“No. Brown never would’ve got past Eduardo.”

“How do you know that? You told me that he let Meredith up here before.”

“Yeah, but he _knew_ Meredith. Eduardo didn’t know Caleb Brown.”

“I’ve seen enough.”

Castle let out the breath that he’d been holding. He was glad that she was ready to leave. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could stand in this huge empty space before he lost it.

Sitting in traffic a few minutes later, Castle glanced over at Kate, who was looking out her window like she had never seen skyscrapers or midtown gridlock before. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” she looked at him and smiled. “Does Gina have you leaving town any time soon?”

“No. I told her that you need time to recuperate. So do I. How’s the nausea today?”

“I’m okay right now.”

For the last several days, Kate had been suffering from bouts of bone crushing nausea. The attacks left her unable to move for as long as they lasted. The lengths varied but had ranged anywhere from an hour to three hours. Dr. Armstrong wasn’t sure if the attacks were normal morning sickness symptoms or the result of the bullet wound to her liver.

Moments later, Castle drove into the parking structure near Jim Beckett’s Brownstone. “Do you want to continue walking to the house or do you need me to hail a cab?”

“Castle, it’s a block and a half. I’ve been walking further than that in PT. I’ll be okay,” she opened her car door and stepped out.

Walking down the street toward the brownstone, Kate kept looking around. It felt strange to be out walking around among people again. Had it really been 20 days since that morning? “Can we go to the precinct tomorrow?”

“Why?”

“Because I want to tell everybody our news. And I want to see if they’ve found out anything about Elena Markov.”

“Kate, she’s not a threat to us.”

“We don’t know that. What if she killed Wood as part of a hostile takeover?”

“Come on, we need to get you home and settled in.”

“Except that we’re not going _home_ , Castle!” She stopped on the sidewalk. “Because of me, we no longer have a home!”

“Hey, don’t do this now,” he put his hands on her shoulders. “It’s going to be okay. None of this is your fault.”

He led her up the steps to the front door of the brownstone and unlocked the door. They walked into the dimly lit front entrance and Castle quickly disarmed the alarm system.

“I’ll take your things to the bedroom.”

Kate didn’t answer. Instead she walked into the living room and looked around at the familiar furniture. It felt strange staying here again after being away from home for such a long time. “I stocked the fridge and pantry, so we don’t have to go out to the market for a while,” Castle re-entered the room and watched his wife looking around. “When’s the last time that you lived here?”

“Before I left to go to Stanford. It hasn’t changed,” she turned and smiled at him. “Why don’t you let your mother and Alexis know that we’re here and getting settled? Maybe the four of us can have dinner tonight.”

“That sounds like a great idea,” Castle took out his phone.

A few hours later, Castle was cooking dinner while Kate, Alexis, and Martha visited in the living room. “Did you grow up here?” Alexis asked, looking over at the pictures on the living room wall.

“Yeah. My dad talked about selling after my mom died, but he could never go through with it.”

“It’s a beautiful home,” Martha complimented Kate.

“Dinner will be ready in about 15 minutes,” Castle walked into the living room and took a seat beside Kate.

“I’m going to go freshen up,” Kate got up and grabbed the cane at her side.

“Richard, is Katherine all right?” Martha kept her voice down so that she wouldn’t be overheard.

“It’s her first day out of the hospital. She’s still trying to readjust to everything. We went by the loft earlier.”

“Dad, have you told her?”

“No. I was waiting for the right time.”

“Told me what? What’s wrong?” Kate had materialized out of nowhere.

“There’s nothing wrong, Katherine. Richard and I were talking about him putting the loft on the market. I suggested to him that perhaps he could sell it to me. That way, Alexis will still have a place to stay if she needs it.”

“If dad puts the loft on the market, the realtor has to tell any prospective buyers about the attack. Full disclosure is the law,” Alexis added.

“Yeah, I know. So, you’re going to buy the loft?”

“We’re still working out the details, but I hope to. My acting school is doing very well, so money won’t be a problem. We both agree that we like the idea of keeping it in the family, so to speak.”

“I told Mother that I’ll have the entire loft renovated before I make the sale official. What do you think?”

“I don’t know. Right now, I don’t know how I feel about anything.”

“We can talk more after dinner,” Castle squeezed her hand before getting up to check on dinner.

Later that evening, Castle was laying in bed waiting for Kate to come out of the bathroom. When he had brought their things over a few days before, he had taken the opportunity to snoop around. There hadn’t been a lot to see. Just a few framed photographs that he’d found in a shoebox at the top of the closet. Pictures of Kate with her parents and other friends. He smiled at some he had found of her and Madison Queller. “Where did Maddie live?” He asked when Kate walked in and got in bed beside her. “I found these when I was looking around the other day.”

“You mean snooping,” she reached over and took the picture from his hand. “Oh my god! I forgot about my big 90’s hair.”

“For the record, I think you looked adorable. Kate, I know it’s hard. And I know that you’re struggling. We’re going to get settled. I promise that it’ll happen before the baby gets here.”

“The last time that I slept in this bed was right after I’d got out of the academy. I was still with Royce. It was the fifth anniversary of mom’s murder. My dad got drunk in a bar where he was a regular. He got drunk and then he got into a fight with some other guy. They arrested him and threw him in the drunk tank. I’d bailed him out before, but I couldn’t do it anymore. I got tired of it, Castle.”

“What happened?”

“I went to see him. I told him that I wasn’t bailing him out. I told him that I was done. He started crying and begging me not to give up on him. I told him that I hadn’t given up on him. He’d given up on himself. I came here because it was closer than going back to my apartment. But it didn’t feel like home anymore. It was just a place to crash for the night.”

“Kate, we don’t have to stay here. We can still go to The Four Seasons.”

“Castle, wherever we stay doesn’t matter. You’re home. You’ll always be my home. You, Martha, and Alexis. And my dad. The building doesn’t matter. The people are what matters. It took me so long to see that.”

“Can I ask you something? We’ve never talked about it before and if you don’t want to talk about it now, I’ll understand. You said that you told your dad that you weren’t going to bail him out. What made him go to rehab?”

“Royce. Mike bailed my dad out. My dad said that Mike told him that I’d already lost my mother. That if he cared about me at all, he’d get sober. Mike also told him that he wasn’t to contact me until he’d been sober for a year.”

“That must’ve been rough.”

“It was. But I was so proud of him when he showed me his one-year chip from AA. It still wasn’t great between us, but it got better.”

“The first time I met your dad, he alluded that he’d almost lost you. I didn’t ask, but I had a feeling I knew what he was talking about. Like I just said, we’ll get settled into a new place before this one gets here,” he gently placed his hand on her abdomen. He could feel an ever so slight bump. “Get some sleep.”

She wasn’t sure what woke her a couple of hours later. Was she dreaming? Had she heard something? She looked over at Castle. He was soundly sleeping, his face smashed into his pillow, that one lock of hair falling over his forehead. She moved closer before reaching out to smooth his hair back. His eyes fluttered opened and he gave her a sleepy smile. “Hey,” his voice was adorably sleepy. When he sounded like that, it always took her back in time to their first night together. The night when neither of them wanted to close their eyes for a second. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Something woke me up.”

“Were you dreaming?”

“I don’t know.” She smoothed his hair back once again. “I like touching your hair.”

“I’ve noticed this. Are you hungry?”

“No. I think the quiet is what woke me up. There was always noise in the hospital.”

“I can install a P.A. system,” he suggested. “Or hire people to walk up and down the hallway.”

“That’s okay.”

“Can I ask you something? Why do you have the downstairs bedroom?”

“This used to be my parents’ bedroom,” she explained. “Originally it was my room, but when I became a teenager, I had a rather annoying habit of sneaking out in the middle of the night. So, my father switched my bedroom with theirs. After my mom died, he switched them back. I guess he figured if I stayed the night, I wouldn’t be sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night.”

“Where did you and Maddie disappear to in the middle of the night?”

“How do you know that I was sneaking out with Maddie?”

“Weren’t you?”

“Not all the time.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t be jealous, Castle,” she moved closer and softly kissed him. “You got the girl in the end.”

“Yes, I did. Just so you’re aware, if we have a daughter, she’s never leaving the house.”

***CCC***

“Beckett, welcome back!” The desk sergeant called out to her the next morning when he saw her, and Castle enter the precinct.

“Thank you!” She pushed the elevator button, tapping her foot impatiently while waiting for it to arrive.

The fourth-floor bullpen was a bustling hive of activity when Kate and Castle stepped off the elevator. “Beckett, what’re you doing here?” Esposito walked over to greet her and Castle. “Shouldn’t you be at home resting?”

“Capt. Beckett, this is a surprise,” Chief Gates walked out of Kate’s office.

“I’m not here long. I just came to make an announcement. A couple of people already know, but I wanted to let the rest of you know.”

Chief Gates gave Kate a long appraising glance before looking at Castle. “The floor is yours, Captain.”

“Hey, could I have everyone’s attention really quick?” Kate called out to the room full of detectives. “While I was in the hospital, Castle and I learned that I’m going to have a baby.”

“A baby?” Espo stared at Kate, who nodded. “Chica, that’s great! Congratulations!” He stepped up and hugged her.

“Ryan already knew. Castle told him and Agent Shaw. We asked him not to tell anybody else, but I told Lanie. I’m sorry, Javi.”

“It’s okay. Is everything okay?”

“We think so.”

“Congratulations, Captain. Can we chat for a moment?” Gates asked.

“Yeah. Castle, I’ll be back.”

Kate followed Gates into the office where the Chief closed the door. “Do you know how this is going to affect you coming back on active duty?”

“No, I don’t. I haven’t been cleared by my doctors and I haven’t made an appointment with my therapist, yet. When I do come back, I’m sure that I’ll be stuck to a desk.”

“Probably. I wanted to let you know that Shaw and Sorenson have gone back to Quantico. I don’t know how much Mr. Castle told you, but we learned that Caleb Brown was the person who murdered Bracken in prison.”

“He told me.”

“We also discovered that Elena Markov murdered Mason Wood. We believe that she has fled the country, so we turned the information over to Interpol.”

“Are there going to be hearings regarding this whole mess?”

“Probably. But I haven’t heard anything about that. I’ll keep you informed. Where are you and Mr. Castle staying?”

“At my father’s brownstone. He’s in London for a few weeks.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Happy to be out of the hospital. I’m not sure how I feel about everything else. I think I’m still in shock.”

“Learning that you’re pregnant for the first time is always a shock. Learning after a traumatic event must be even more so. You’re going to be a great mom, Kate.”

“I hope so. And I already know that Castle is a great father.”

“There was one more thing that I wanted to make you aware of. The Chief needs me back at 1PP, so he has asked Captain Demming from Robbery to step in during your absence. It’s just to oversee things. Esposito will be the one in charge of the unit. The Chief just feels that Esposito doesn’t have quite enough experience under his belt to deal with the day to day politics that come with being solely in charge.”

“Have you run this by Espo?”

“Yes, he’s aware. It’s just until you come back, Kate.”

“Sir, I don’t know when I’ll be back. It could two months or it could be longer. One thing I learned during these past three weeks that it’s not about me anymore.”

“And it never will be again.”

“I just don’t want to find myself being pushed out. I worked hard for my position in this unit.”

“No one is pushing you out, Captain.”

“No offense, sir, but that’s not how it feels,” Kate got up and slowly walked out of the office. “Castle, let’s go home.”

Castle instantly sensed that something was wrong, but he knew not to ask any questions. When they walked into the brownstone half an hour later, Kate exploded in a fury. “I’m being replaced, Castle!”

“What’re you talking about?”

“They’re bringing Tom Demming in from Robbery to run things while I’m gone. He’s going to be in my office, Castle! In _my_ office!”

“I thought they would put Esposito in charge.”

“They are, but they aren’t.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Espo is going to be in charge of the team, but Demming is going to be dealing with ComStat and the other bullshit from 1PP. ‘It’s just until you return,’” Kate mimicked Gates’ voice. “Castle, what if I can’t return until after the baby is born? What if I really don’t have a job left when I am able to go back? What if the Chief blames me for LokSat? I know everybody else does.”

“Kate, no one blames you for what happened with LokSat,” he walked over and tried to put his hands on her shoulders, only to have her duck away from him.

“I should’ve locked myself in the bathroom and called for backup.”

“Do you know what would’ve happened if you had done that? Do you really want to know? After Brown shot me, he walked over and stood over me. Kate, he was getting ready for the kill shot when you walked in and shouted my name. Kate, if you hadn’t come into the room, he would’ve killed me,” Castle’s voice choked up. “My children would’ve been without a father. You would’ve had to raise our child alone. Do you have any idea how lonely that is? How hard? If you had called for backup, Kate, he would’ve killed me.”

“Castle, I’m so fucked up right now. I was fucked up after I got shot at Montgomery’s funeral, but this . . . this transcends that. I feel like I have ruined everything! I love this life that I feel growing inside of me, but I don’t know how to feel happy about it.”

“We’re both messed up,” he once again walked up to her. This time she didn’t move away from him. “Once we start talking to someone, it’ll get better. I think once we get settled somewhere permanent, it’ll get better. Right now, I think we both feel like nomads. If you’re unsure about where things stand at the Twelfth, talk to Demming.”

“Why? So that he can lie to me?”

“Why do you think he’ll lie to you?”

“I don’t know. I’m tired, Castle. I’m tired of being tired. I miss our bed.”

“I know. But right now, our bed is in storage.”

“Have you talked to the realtor?”

“Not in a few days. I wanted to get you out of the hospital and rested for a few days before we start looking at properties.”

“Does she have any potential properties for us to see?”

“Yes,” he nodded. “I have some on my laptop. Would you like to see them?”

“Yes.” He left to get his laptop. When he returned, she settled beside him on the sofa while he booted the computer up. She smiled at the now familiar screensaver taken of them on their wedding day. “We have about six months to get moved before the baby gets here.”

“She sent these to me last week. The one that I want to show you is this one. It’s a few blocks down from the loft.”

The pictures Castle showed Kate were of an apartment eerily similar to the layout of the old loft. “It looks like the loft.”

“The front area is more open than the loft. The upstairs bedrooms aren’t quite as big. But there’s a small room between the master bedroom and the laundry room. I thought it would make a good office and we could also keep the baby in there for the first few months.”

“Have you seen it in person?”

“No. I didn’t want to see it without you. There’s three more that she’s sent me pictures of. We can look at them, but I like this one because of its proximity to the loft.”

“How much?”

“Well, this one,” he showed her the pictures of one of the lofts the realtor had sent him, “is slightly out of my price range.”

“How slightly?”

“Forty-two point five.”

“Million?” She squeaked, watching him nod. “Ouch.”

“I know. But the others are in the same price range as the loft when I bought it. And if Mother can buy the loft, we can use that money as a down payment. We’re not paupers, Beckett.”

“I know,” she smiled. “What would we be getting for forty-two point five million? Just out of curiosity.”

“A view. But we’ll get that anyway. Well, a view in the FlatIron District.”

“So, we’d be paying for location?”

“Pretty much. Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry. And you need to eat so you can take your pills.”

***CCC***

Just like the night before, something caused Kate’s eyes to snap open in the wee hours of the morning. But, unlike the night before, Castle sensed that she was awake this time. His eyes opened when he felt her sit up in bed. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know.”

“Too quiet again?”

“I don’t know,” she repeated.

Castle sat up and reached over to snap on the lamp, illuminating the room. “I can get a fan to run at night. It’ll create white noise.”

“I thought that you were dead,” she looked over at him.

“When? That morning?”

“No,” she shook her head. “The first time I woke up in the hospital. My dad was there. But you weren’t,” her voice caught.

“I’m here now,” he placed a hand on her shoulder. He noticed her rubbing the spot on her abdomen where the second bullet had struck her. “Are you in pain?”

“A little,” she admitted.

“A little in real people terms or a little in Kate Beckett terms?”

“Okay, maybe more than a little.”

“I’ll get your pain pill,” he got out of bed and disappeared down the hall. He returned a few minutes later with a pill and a glass of water.

She took the pill and the water from him, swallowing the pill before giving the glass back to him. “Thank you.”

“Kate, I’m not going anywhere. I’ve already told Gina and Paula that I’m not going on any book tours until you have the baby.”

“I bet that went over well.”

“Gina isn’t a total monster. She isn’t crazy about it, but she didn’t argue with me.”

“Castle, when are we meeting with the realtor?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t called her to set up an appointment. Why?”

“Can we go look at that apartment in the Flatiron District? Just for kicks? I’ve always been curious about how the uber-rich live.”

“I’m sure she’ll make arrangements for us to see it. Kate, if I were Patterson rich, I’d buy you a forty-two point five-million-dollar apartment in a heartbeat.”

“Castle, I don’t care if we live in a cardboard box. I already told you, home is wherever you are. I’m so crazy about you,” she put her hand on his neck and pulled him down for a long, slow kiss.

“Careful, Beckett,” he reluctantly pulled away. “We don’t want to start something that we can’t finish.”

***CCC***

A few nights later, Castle was the one whose eyes snapped opened in the middle of the night. It was only when he felt the empty space beside him that he realized why he was awake. Kate’s side of the bed was cool, but not ice cold. Meaning she’d been up for a while, but probably not more than half an hour or so. He slipped out of bed and padded out of the room, checking the bathroom first before making his way into the living room.

He stopped in the doorway and quietly watched Kate. She was sitting on the sofa with her knees tucked up to her chin, staring out the front window. “Hey,” he walked over and sat behind her, softly kissing her on the neck. “Did you hear something outside?”

“No.”

She sighed in contentment when she felt Castle’s arms slip around her, securely anchoring her to his body. She loved being held by him. She’d told him so in her wedding vows to him. “If you didn’t hear anything, then why are you awake?”

“I had the most amazing dream. We were at the Hamptons. Just the three of us.”

“You, me, and Alexis?”

“No,” she craned her neck around to smile at him. “Me, you and our little girl. I could see her so clearly, Castle. She had your huge blue eyes and the most amazing head of brown curls.”

“I have no doubt that this baby boy or baby girl is going to be gorgeous. I only make beautiful babies.”

“We were walking with her between us and every so often she’d beg us to swing her. It felt so real that I didn’t want to go back to sleep and forget it.”

“Kate, what did the other doctors say to you? About the baby?”

“I don’t want to talk about that,” she got up and left the room.

Taking a deep breath, Castle got up and made his way back to their bedroom, where he found Kate laying on the bed, sobbing into her pillow. “I’m sorry,” he walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. “It’s just that I know other doctors came in to talk to you, but you never discussed what they said.”

“Did Meredith ever tell you what it felt like when she felt Alexis moving around inside of her? Did you ever feel her?”

“All the time,” he smiled. “Especially toward the end of the pregnancy. Meredith never talked about what it felt like. She complained a lot about being huge and having to pee all the time. Now, my mother said it felt like she had the circus in town when she was having me.”

“Yeah, you seem like you would be one of those babies that moved constantly. I just want to feel her move, Castle. Right now, it doesn’t feel real. I mean, we’ve seen her heartbeat, but it just doesn’t feel like there’s anything there.”

“Kate, you’re going to feel her move soon enough, and then that’s all that she’s going to do. You really think we’re having a little girl?”

“Would you be disappointed if it is?”

“No,” he was quick to shake his head. “I don’t know anything about raising a little boy. I know everything there is about raising a little girl. I even know how to create exquisite hairstyles for school pictures. I hate seeing you so sad,” he brushed the tears from her cheeks with his fingers.

“I wish that I was cleared for sex.”

“Well, just because we can’t technically have sex, we can do other stuff,” he waggled his eyebrows at her, causing her to smile.

***CCC***

“How am I doing?” Kate asked Dr. Armstrong a couple of days later.

“Everything is great, Kate. How have you been feeling?”

“Tired and I get a little nauseous first thing in the morning.”

“The exhaustion is normal. So is the nausea. If you start feeling too tired, take a nap. Are you and Rick still staying at your father’s?”

“Yeah. We’re seeing the realtor next week. She has a couple of apartments to show us.”

“When are you scheduled to see Dr. Davila?”

“Tomorrow. Are you going to be there?”

“Kate, you’re going to be okay. At some point, you’re going to have to stand up to Davila and the naysayers. You’re a homicide detective. A captain. I think you can handle this.”

“Rick wants to know what they’ve said to me.”

“You still haven’t told him?”

“He knows some of it. He was there when Davila talked to me the day we found out. You’ve been honest with me. Is it going to be as awful as they’re saying?”

“Kate, I don’t know. And neither do they. Could everything they’ve told you happen? Yes. Will it? We don’t know. Right now, you’re doing wonderfully. Both you and the baby are healthy. With any luck, things will continue to be uneventful. You need to sit down with Rick and tell him what could happen. Maybe you could take him into the room with you tomorrow. Let the doctors explain it.”

Kate was quiet when she walked out of Dr. Armstrong’s office on Castle’s arm. “Are you hungry?” He asked.

“A little. But I’m more tired than anything else.”

“Let’s go home and I’ll make us some lunch, and then you can get some rest.”

“Will you rest with me?”

“I’d love to,” he smiled down at her.

After lunch, Castle led Kate into their bedroom and stretched out on the bed, smiling when she stretched out beside him. “Tomorrow when I see Dr. Davila, there are going to be other doctors there.”

“How many doctors? Kate, what’s going on?”

“Nothing,” she was quick to assure him. “I want you to come with me.”

“Kate, I wasn’t going to let you go alone.”

“No, Rick,” she sat up. “I don’t mean to wait for me in the lobby or the reception area. I want you to come with me into the room with these doctors.”

“Kate, you’re confusing me. And scaring me. Is there something going on that I need to know about?”

“I don’t want you to be scared. I’m confused, too. Rick, these doctors . . . they all keep telling me that I won’t carry this baby to term. That I _shouldn’t_ carry this baby to term. But Dr. Armstrong doesn’t buy into their theories.”

“Why didn’t you tell me any of this, Kate?”

“Because I’m scared. And they were using intimidation tactics. Castle, they always made sure that they would come around when you weren’t there. It’s like something out of an Ira Levin novel. Like Rosemary’s Baby.”

“What are they saying _could_ happen? Give me worst case scenarios here, Beckett.”

“Worst case scenario is I could go into multi-organ failure due to the stress of the pregnancy or the injuries I suffered. Rick, I will fight to the death anybody who tries to make me terminate this pregnancy.”

“Hey, nobody is going to make you terminate,” he reached up and brushed her hair from her face. “Are you sure that you want me with you tomorrow?”

“Rick, I _need_ you with me. They need to see that we’re a united front on this.”

“Then let’s go in there tomorrow and kick some ass. Is that why you haven’t been sleeping?”

She didn’t say anything except to lay down and rest her head on his shoulder. “I know it isn’t going to be a picnic, but I didn’t lose her for a reason, Rick. She’s meant to be here. To be a part of our family.”

“This baby had better be a girl, or you’re going to be really disappointed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N #2: The next chapter, we will meet the naysayers.
> 
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> Facebook: Wylie.Cindy@Yahoo.com


	9. The First Scare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate has a very bad day as she and Castle meet with her team of doctors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I want to thank everybody for the wonderful reviews. It feels so good to be back and hearing all the positive feedback makes me feel great. I’m so happy that everybody is enjoying my take on that awful, confusing storyline.

**FULL CIRCLE**

**Chapter 8: The First Scare**

Kate splashed some water on her face before glancing at her reflection in the mirror. She knew that she looked pale. And she knew that Castle was going to immediately notice. The mild nausea she had described to Dr. Armstrong the day before was onboard with a vengeance this morning. She had thought that she was going to be sick earlier, but all she had accomplished was some painful heaving.

She took some deep breaths to quell the roiling of her stomach and opened the bathroom door with a shaking hand. She could hear Rick talking in the other room. When she walked into the living room, she spotted Castle on his cell phone. “We can drop by later this morning. We have a meeting with Kate’s doctors in an hour. I’m not sure how long we’ll be. Everything’s fine, sweetie,” he turned and stopped short when he saw Kate. “I’ll text you when we’re leaving the hospital. Bye, pumpkin,” he ended the call and approached Kate. “Are you okay?”

“Morning sickness, Castle. I’ll be okay. Was that Alexis? On the phone?”

“Oh, yeah. She wanted us to drop by later. Kate, are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, Castle. Come on, let’s go and get this over with,” she walked over to grab her bag when the room spun crazily, causing her to lose her balance.

“Whoa, I’ve got you. Why don’t you sit, and I’ll get you some water?” Castle settled Kate on the sofa before going into the kitchen and returning with a bottle of cold water.

After drinking some of the water, Kate felt a little better. “Let’s try this again.”

The drive into the city got on Kate’s nerves. For some reason, the Buick felt small and stuffy. “Do you think the doctors will be impressed if I puke all over their conference table?” She looked at Castle.

“Please don’t. If you puke, I’ll be right behind you.”

“You’re one of those people?” Kate raised an eyebrow. “How did you raise a child? Aren’t they puking little beasts at times?”

“Hey, you’re carrying one of those puking little beasts,” he reminded her. “It wasn’t easy and came with a lot of deep breathing and closed eyes.”

“It is hot as hell in this car,” she turned the AC up to Antarctic.

By the time they reached the hospital, Castle was sure that he had icicles hanging from his hair. It was nice to step out into the bright June sunshine just to thaw out. He walked around to Kate’s door and opened it for her, slowly helping her to her feet while the valet waited patiently. After taking the ticket from him, Castle and Kate walked into the hospital. After stepping into the elevator, Kate pressed the button for the eighth floor. “How many doctors are going to be at this inquisition?”

“I’m not sure. Four, five, maybe six.”

They stepped off the elevator on eight and walked down the hall until they found room 830. Kate knocked on the door and opened it. There were six doctors sitting around the oblong conference table, all dressed in crisp white lab coats and wearing serious expressions. All except for one. Kate heaved a sigh of relief when she saw one friendly face at the table. “Dr. Armstrong, I thought that you weren’t going to be able to make it.”

“I thought you could use the moral support.” She got up and walked around to Kate. “Are you feeling okay? You’re looking pale.”

“It’s been a rough morning,” Kate admitted.

“Can we get started, please?” Dr. Davila interrupted.

“I brought my husband. I hope that’s all right.”

“Before we begin, would you and your husband like something to drink? Coffee or water?”

“Water, please,” Kate sat down and tugged on Castle to take the seat beside her.

“Mr. Castle, I’d like to introduce you to Dr. Jimenez. He is a hepatologist, specializing in liver—”

“I know what a hepatologist, Dr. Davila.”

“Very well,” Dr. Davila continued introducing the panel of doctors. “Dr. Charles is a gastroenterologist. Dr. Payne is an Internal Medicine Specialist and Dr. Lawrence is an OB/GYN.”

“Why does Kate need two OB/GYN’s?”

“Because Dr. Lawrence doesn’t agree with Dr. Armstrong,” Kate glared at Dr. Lawrence.

“Mr. Castle, you and I spoke about Kate’s injuries. We also talked about the ramifications of these injuries after we spoke to Kate.”

“Dr. Davila, please get to the point and stop treating me like a five-year-old. I’ve seen the pictures; I’ve had a doctor friend explain the long-term effects of my injuries. I’ve had all of you in my room at one time or another, doing everything but scheduling an abortion behind my back. I’ve made my wishes crystal clear. I’m _not_ terminating this pregnancy.”

“Even though the health of both you and your unborn child could be at risk?” Dr. Jimenez looked at Kate from across the table.

“Right now, I feel okay. Not great. But most people aren’t going to feel great after being shot twice. Today hasn’t been a great day, but not every day is going to be great. Nausea is common with morning sickness. Am I right, Dr. Armstrong?”

“Nausea is a very common symptom of morning sickness, Mrs. Castle.”

“It’s also a common symptom of a malfunctioning liver.”

“I thought my last liver function test was fine.”

“That was also two weeks ago.”

“If I refuse to abide by your wishes, are you going to get a court order? Because my father is an attorney and I’m sure he can find someone to sue your asses all the way to the Supreme Court.”

“We just want you to be aware of what you could be facing in the months ahead. There’s no need to get attorneys or the Supreme Court involved,” Dr. Charles commented.

“Mr. Castle, do you have any questions for us?” Dr. Lawrence spoke up. “You must love your wife very much or you wouldn’t be here with her right now.”

Castle thought about his words carefully before he spoke. “I have a grown daughter. I raised her alone after her mother and I divorced. I was shocked when I learned that Kate was pregnant. Am I concerned? Yes. But I’ve known Kate for a long time and the first thing that I learned about my wife is she never backs down from a fight. She thinks that we’re having a little girl,” he smiled gently at Kate. “She calls our little girl a miracle. She tells everybody that this baby didn’t die for a reason. We might not know for 20 years or more that that reason is. Maybe she’ll cure cancer. Maybe she’ll bring about world peace. You’ve given us your opinions. You’re entitled to that. And Kate has given you her answer. Now I’ll thank you to please stop with the intimidation tactics.”

Kate gave him a tremulous smile. She couldn’t believe how much she loved him. But now, the need to get out of this stuffy room was becoming overwhelming. “Castle, I need some air,” she slowly got up from her chair when everything began to spin crazily. “Castle—”

“Kate!” Castle caught her before she could hit the floor.

***CCC***

Castle was pacing back and forth in front of the trauma room doors where Kate had been brought a short time before. The room seemed to be a hub of activity from what he had been able to observe. He took out his cell phone and checked his messages. He had texted Alexis and his mother. He was waiting to text Jim until he knew what was going on. “Dad!” He breathed a huge sigh of relief when he saw his mother and daughter. “What’s going on? Is Kate all right?”

“I don’t know. We had a meeting with her doctors, and she said something about needing some air. And then she just . . . crumpled.”

The door opened and Dr. Armstrong stepped out. “Is Kate all right?” Were the first words out of Castle’s mouth.

“Her blood sugar is lower than I would like right now. Has she passed out before today?”

“No, although I thought that she was going to this morning. She was pale and when she got up, she staggered a little. I got her to sit and drink some water. She claimed to be okay after that, although she turned the A/C way up in the car coming over here.”

“Doctor, is the low blood sugar dangerous?” Martha asked.

“It can be. I’ve got her started on an IV and she should start responding soon. I’ll keep you updated. Before you ask, Mr. Castle; I will let you in the moment that she wakes up.”

“Thank you.”

Dr. Armstrong went back into the trauma room and checked Kate’s vital signs. “Kate? Can you hear me?”

Kate groaned and slowly opened her eyes. “Where am I?”

“Right now, you’re in a trauma room at New York Pres. What’s the last thing that you remember?”

“The room was stuffy. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Am I okay?”

“We’ve got you stabilized. I’d like to keep you overnight.”

“No,” Kate shook her head. “I want to go home. Where’s Castle?”

“He’s outside. I’ll bring him in soon. Kate, your blood sugar was dangerously low. It could’ve been a result of the damage that was done to your liver.”

“Dr. Jimenez told me that the damage would heal. He said it would take time.”

“That’s true. Let me go and get Rick, and I’ll explain everything to the both of you. Okay?” Kate nodded. “I’ll be right back.”

Kate wearily closed her eyes but opened them when she heard Castle’s familiar footsteps. “Hi,” she smiled, and reached her hand out to him. “I want to go home, Castle.”

“I know,” he took her hand and kissed her fingertips.

“I think that you need to stay long enough for us to get your blood sugar under control. I’ll send you home with a meter. I want you to check your blood sugar several times a day. If it falls below 70, get back in here. Rick, make sure that she’s eating. That will help keep her sugar up where it should be. I also want you to make an appointment with Dr. Jimenez.”

“He’s one of the ones trying to take our baby.”

“Kate, no one is going to make you do anything that you don’t want to do. Will you at least stay here until your sugar is okay?”

“How long will that take?”

“Hopefully, not more than a couple of hours.”

“Can we stay in here or do I have to go upstairs?”

“You can stay in here unless we have a major trauma come in. I’ll dim the lights so that you can get some rest.”

“Then I’ll stay.”

“Good. I’ll come back and check on you every half hour or so.”

“Thank you,” Castle told the doctor as she left the room, leaving him alone with Kate. “You definitely know how to make a statement.”

“Did you catch me, or did I hit the floor?”

“I caught you before you hit the floor.”

“My knight in shining armor.”

“It wasn’t fun to witness, Beckett.”

“I’m sorry. On the plus side, at least it happened here instead of at home. Is this what we have to look forward to for the next six months, Rick? I wanted to go back to work. I can’t go back to work if I’m going to be fainting.”

“We’ll talk about all of this later. Right now, I want you to rest.”

“Do you really think that she’ll cure cancer?”

“If she doesn’t, maybe her brother or sister will.”

“Oh god, Castle. Let’s just focus on this one before we start discussing siblings.”

“Okay. Close your eyes, and rest. I’m not going anywhere.”

“That’s good to know.”

Castle was checking messages on his phone when the door opened, and Dr. Jimenez stepped in. “Dr. Armstrong notified me,” he walked over to look at Kate’s chart.

“She also told me what I need to do,” Kate opened her eyes and glared at the doctor.

“You do realize that your baby is undergoing the same illnesses and setbacks that you are. Things aren’t going to get better, Kate. I’m not saying this to be a bully. I’m saying these things because they’re facts.”

“I’ve heard all of you, and I’ve given everything that you have told me a great deal of thought. I really have. I’m in this for the long haul.”

“What about you, Mr. Castle? Are you in this for the long haul?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Then I guess there’s nothing more for me to say. Bear this in mind, Kate. You and I are going to be seeing a lot of each other over the next several months.”

With those parting words, Dr. Jimenez turned and left the room. Kate looked at Castle, and instantly saw how terrified he looked. “Hey,” she reached out for his hand. “It can’t all be awful.”

“Kate, I’ve watched you die once. If I lose both of you, it’ll destroy me.”

“I’m not going anywhere. And I’m damn sure not going to leave you to raise our baby alone. I know that it’s not going to be easy. But when has anything concerning our relationship been easy?”

“Kate, you can say that now, but we don’t know what the next six months are going to bring.”

“Do you remember when you proposed to me?”

“Kate—”

“Do you?”

“Yeah, I remember. It was one of the best days of my life,” he finally smiled.

“You said that we would work through the difficult stuff together. I’m not being selfish, Rick. At least I don’t think I’m being selfish. I dream of her, Castle. In my dreams, she looks so much like you. I want to see my dream become a reality.”

“In about a month, we’re going to know for sure if she is a she.”

“I can’t wait.”

“Me, either.”

***CCC***

When Kate opened her eyes again, the room was dark. But she was able to hear the familiar sound of Castle’s fingers clicking on his laptop keyboard. Struggling to sit up, she soon realized that she was in her bed back at her father’s house, but she had no memory of how she had gotten there. “Hey,” Castle smiled at her.

“We’re home,” she looked around in confusion.

“You’re very perceptive.”

“How did I get here?”

“You don’t remember leaving the hospital?”

“Would I be asking if I did? Castle, why can’t I remember anything?”

“It’s okay. Relax,” he put his laptop aside and placed his hands on her shoulders. “Dr. Armstrong warned me that you might be somewhat disoriented. We got home a couple of hours ago. You came in here and fell right to sleep. I came in here to get some work done.”

“Please tell me that you didn’t carry me in here from the car.”

“No, you walked. Are you hungry? Because I’m under strict instructions to make sure that you eat.”

“Yeah, I am hungry. But I have to pee first,” she threw the covers aside and stood up.

“Okay. I’ll go make you something to eat.”

“Castle, I can come to the table.”

“In that case, how about scrambled eggs and bacon?”

“No.”

“No?” Castle was confused.

“I don’t want you to cook.”

Suddenly, it became all too clear why Kate didn’t want him to cook. “Were you dreaming? Is that why you don’t want me to cook?”

“I have to pee,” she hobbled from the room.

When she didn’t return after several minutes, Castle got up to check on her. He stood outside the closed bathroom door and lightly knocked on it. “Kate?”

“I’ll be out in a minute.” After another minute, she opened the door. Her face was wet with tears. “Is it ever going to get better?”

“I hope so,” he wrapped his arms around her, bringing her to his chest.

“Castle, I know that Martha has offered to buy the loft, but—”

“But what?”

“The good memories outweigh the bad. You were planning on renovating it, right?”

“Yeah. I’ve got contractors starting on the first of next month. Kate, are you sure this is what you want to do?”

“Castle,” she pulled away from him, “I made love to you for the first time there. That’s my home with you. If we get a new place, Caleb Brown wins. LokSat wins. If you want to get a new home for us, I’ll understand.”

“No,” he smiled down at her. “No. I get what you’re saying. I’ll make it better than it was. I’ll make sure that it’s safer than it was. No one is ever going to get near us again. Ever. It might be several months before it’s inhabitable again.”

“I was thinking about that. Sophia is getting married in August.”

“Your cousin, Sophia?”

“Yes. She’s going to be moving into her husband’s townhouse. We can spend July in the Hamptons and then move into my old apartment until the loft is ready for us to move in to. We can do that, right?”

“Yeah,” his smile was huge, telling Kate that she had made the right decision.

“You never wanted to move, did you?”

“Kate—”

“Castle, it’s okay. I know that you were going along with me because you wanted me to be happy. This is the happiest that I’ve felt since the morning that this happened. I know that the memories that you’ve built in the loft are 20 years old. You raised an amazing young woman in that loft.”

“You’re sure this is what you want?”

“Yes. I know it’s not going to be easy. But I want our children to grow up where their older sister grew up.”

“I thought you didn’t want to focus on siblings,” he reminded her.

“Is there anything that I say that you don’t remember?”

“No,” he kissed her. “Your words have always had a bewitching effect on me. Come on, let’s go find something to eat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	10. A New Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> July in the Hamptons. Surprises await the expectant couple.

**FULL CIRCLE**

**Chapter 9: A New Discovery**

_July_

Castle walked into their bedroom with a full tray of breakfast items. Kate was still asleep, the white sheet halfway down her body, exposing her naked breasts. Walking over to the bed and placing the tray on his nightstand, he got back into bed and slowly removed the sheet the rest of the way, exposing her now slightly rounded stomach.

The small baby bump was fascinating to both parents. Kate had gone to bed one night with a still flat belly and had awakened the following morning to the bump. Castle couldn’t resist kissing the small mound, grinning when he felt Kate’s fingers in his hair. “Today is D-Day,” he reminded her.

“I know,” her fingers were gentle on his scalp. “Are you as excited as I am?”

“Yeah,” he moved up and wrapped both arms around her. “I brought us breakfast.”

“I have to pee.”

“While you do that, I’ll get everything set up for our breakfast. Then we can take showers and hit the road for the city.”

Kate went into the bathroom and closed the door. After relieving herself, she checked her blood sugar. “Castle, did you bring me an orange juice?” She called out.

“Yes. Is your sugar low?”

“A little, but it’s not in the danger zone. It’ll come up once I eat.”

The past three weeks in the Hamptons had been peaceful and magical. The renovations on the loft were going as planned and Kate’s old apartment would be ready for them the first weekend in August. But Kate loved the Hamptons. She loved their bedroom with the view of the Atlantic. It was quiet here without the nightmares that dotted her dreams when they were in the city. She almost dreaded going back in a month to live in her old apartment.

“Kate? Are you okay? Your breakfast is getting cold.”

“Yeah! I’ll be right out!”

***CCC***

Four hours later, they were sitting side by side in Dr. Armstrong’s crowded waiting room. Castle was leafing through a magazine while Kate sat with her head on his shoulder. “What if she can’t tell?”

“What if she can’t tell what?” Castle was confused.

“What if she can’t tell what we’re having?”

“Well, if she can’t tell this time, we’ll find out on your next appointment.”

“I want to know today, Rick. I already picked out a room in the house. I want to decorate it.”

“Which room?”

“The first one at the top of the stairs. It looks out on the same view as our bedroom. It also has the window seat. Unless you want the baby downstairs with us.”

“No. That room is perfect,” he kissed her temple.

“Kate Castle,” the nurse called out her name.

“Let’s go see this miracle child,” Castle beamed, getting up and helping her to her feet.

They followed the nurse to a nearby room. “Dr. Armstrong is with another patient, but she will be with you shortly.”

“Thank you.”

Kate sat on the edge of the examination table and watched her husband explore the room. Her eyes landed on a chart on the back of the door, showing the positioning of a full-term infant. “Are you sure there’s going to be enough room for her and my organs?”

“I think she’ll just move things out of the way,” his eyes followed to what Kate was looking at. “If you think that’s frightening, look at these,” he pointed at the dilation chart.

“Castle, we are never having sex again.”

“Meredith said the same thing and look what happened.”

“Castle, do not talk to me about the times that you had sex with your _ex_ -wife.”

He walked over and stood in front of her, forcing her to look at him. “Believe me when I tell you that everything goes back to its former shape and size.”

“It better. Do you remember that woman who was addicted to plastic surgery?”

“The escapee from ‘The Island of Dr. Moreau?’ Yeah, I remember. What about her?”

“Remember the surgery that she used as her alibi?”

“Kate, you’re not going to need to get anything tightened. Trust me on this.”

He was saved from any further conversation on the subject by the door opening. “Good morning, Kate, Rick. How are you feeling?”

“Good. Anxious. Hoping that we see something.”

“Well, if we don’t see anything today, we’ll try on your next appointment. Why don’t you lay back and relax? Heather will be here with the ultrasound in just one minute. I’m glad to see that you’re looking so healthy.”

“We’ve been in the Hamptons.”

“I must say that the fresh air and sunshine agree with you.”

The nurse, Heather, entered the room pushing the ultrasound machine in front of her. The doctor then raised Kate’s shirt, exposing her stomach and squirted a liberal amount of gel onto it. Kate looked at Castle, smiling at him when he grabbed her hand in his. “Here we go, stud,” she teased him.

“Are we still hoping for a little girl?” Dr. Armstrong asked, spreading the gel with the transducer as they waited for an image to appear on the screen.

“Yes. Oh my god, Castle. You can see everything now.”

Castle couldn’t answer. He was overcome with emotion at the sight of his and Kate’s unborn child on the screen. He had seen Alexis’ ultrasound images, but he’d never gone to Meredith’s appointments with her. The idea that Kate wanted to share every moment of this journey with him was a dream come true. “Look at her fingers. At least I hope they’re _her_ fingers,” Castle looked at the doctor.

“Let’s see if we can get another angle,” the doctor tapped a few keys and the picture angle changed. “Kate, what names do you have picked out?”

“Lily Johanna for a girl. Johanna was my mother’s name. James for a boy after my father.”

“Say hello to Lily Johanna, Kate,” the doctor smiled at her patient.

“Really? Are you sure?”

“I’m positive. Congratulations. I’ll make copies of the pictures and make you a DVD for your family. Let me get everything printed and I’ll be right back.”

Heather stayed behind long enough to wipe the gel from Kate’s belly before she also left the room. Kate turned toward Castle, tears falling down her face and began laughing when he kissed her. “She’s a girl, Castle! And she’s perfect!”

“Have I told you how much I love you?” His voice was so choked up he could barely get the words out. “I can’t wait to tell everybody.”

By the time they arrived back in the Hamptons, Kate was exhausted. But Castle was still surprised when she took him by the hand and led him into their bedroom, where she slowly removed his clothes and her own before falling into bed with him. “Have I told you how much I love pregnancy hormones?” His lips ghosted down the side of her face before capturing her lips in his for a long, slow kiss.

“Me, too. It’s funny how my team of doctors neglected to tell me about this ‘side-effect,’” she grinned.

“That’s because they’re obsessed with the bad stuff. Not the good stuff. Can I be serious for just a minute, though?” He moved so he was sitting against the headboard of the bed.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” he gave her a bright smile. “I know that you want to decorate Lily’s room. Just promise me that you’ll take things slowly. And no painting. If you want the room painted, I’ll hire someone. Okay?”

“I just want to set up her furniture and hang some things on the wall. No painting. I promise,” she rested her head on his chest, carefully avoiding the scar from Caleb Brown’s bullet. “When did you want to tell everybody?”

“I was thinking that we could have a barbecue here in a couple of weeks.”

“Can you keep it a secret for that long?”

“Can you?”

“I don’t know. One part of me wants to scream it from the rooftops. Were you this excited about Alexis?”

“Yes, but it was different. I wasn’t with Meredith for the big reveal.”

“I want you there for everything, Rick. I was thinking this morning about how much I’ve loved being out here. I hate the thought of going back to the city. When will the loft be finished?”

“Jake said he estimates that everything will be completed by the end of October or the first of November. Kate, if you want to stay out here until the loft is finished, we can. We have the heated pool for our exercises, and we can take long walks on the beach. Just keep in mind that when the weather starts to turn, it does get colder out here than it does in the city.”

“You want to go back?”

“I want to do whatever makes you more comfortable. I’m almost completely healed. You’re still recuperating. Plus, you are incubating our daughter.”

“Our daughter,” she stroked his chest. “I love the way that sounds coming from your lips.”

“It is unbelievably beautiful out here when the leaves change. But you do realize that we’re still going to have to make trips into the city for our appointments and stuff.”

“I know. If you want to go back to the city, we can. I want us to be in agreement on this.”

“I’m supposed to go to the West Coast in October. It was the only trip that Gina couldn’t get canceled or postponed. I’ll only be gone for four days, but I don’t want you out here alone.”

“I could go with you.”

“Why don’t we wait and see what your doctors say. If they’re all right with you traveling, then I would welcome your company,” he kissed her.

“Castle, it’s four days.”

“Beckett, we’re doing this by the book.”

“Okay,” she sighed before resting against his shoulder once again.

***CCC***

_Two weeks later_

The morning of the barbecue, Kate got up early and made her way upstairs to Lily’s bedroom. The furniture had arrived the day before and Kate was introduced to the joy of assembling a crib. It took her and Castle more than two hours to figure out what pieces went where. Two hours during which there were more than a few tantrums thrown by both parties. Once it was finally finished, both parents were more than pleased. The crib was soft white, the same color as the chest of drawers and changing table. Kate walked over to the one box that she insisted remain closed the day before and opened it. Inside were four large pastel letters. Opening a small bag of hooks, Kate went to work.

After some trial and error, she finally had the letters hanging where she wanted them. She wanted everything in place before the barbecue that afternoon. After completing her work, she stepped back to look at the results. “What’re you doing up here?” She turned and smiled at Castle, standing in the doorway. “Wow.”

“Do you like it?”

“It’s perfect,” he stepped in and wrapped his arms around his wife. “How long have you been awake?”

“About an hour. I wanted to do this before you woke up. You’re sure that your mother and Alexis don’t know?”

“Kate, I haven’t said a word. I told them that everybody would find out today. Are you feeling okay today?”

“Castle, I’m fine,” she kissed him.

“If you get too tired today, come in and rest. No one is going to hold it against you.”

“I’ll rest. I promise. Stop worrying.”

“I can’t help it. I don’t like it when you’re not feeling well.”

The past several days, Kate had been horribly sick with nausea and vomiting. She had finally started feeling better the day before. “I love you,” she kissed him again. “I love how you take such good care of me and Lily.”

“Come on, I’ll make the two of you breakfast,” he smiled and reached for her hand.

After breakfast, Castle went outside to get the grill ready while Kate carefully wrapped the identical gifts she had for Martha, Alexis, and her father. Dr. Armstrong had made her and Castle several copies of Lily’s ultrasound, which Kate had placed in picture frames with the words ‘Lily Johanna’s first photograph’ on the bottom edge of the frames. One of the other copies had gone into a baby book that Castle had presented her with when they had returned home from their appointment that day.

After wrapping the gifts, Kate lay back on the sofa in Castle’s office and picked up her copy of ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’ and began reading. She was curious as to why she hadn’t felt any movement yet. The baby bump seemed a little bigger every day, so she knew that Lily was growing.

She heard the back door open and close, followed by the sound of Castle’s footsteps on the hardwood floor. “I thought that I might find you in here,” he walked over and sat at the end of the sofa, placing Kate’s bare feet in his lap. “Tired?”

“A little,” she admitted. “Castle, do you remember when Meredith first felt Alexis kick?”

“No, but I could ask her. I know I didn’t feel anything for a long time. Kate, Lily’s fine.”

“I know. I just wish that I could feel her. Did you tell Meredith about the baby?”

“I didn’t. But Alexis admitted that she did.”

“What did she say?”

“I don’t know. Alexis didn’t say, and I didn’t ask. Are we going to sit here and talk about my ex-wife?”

“No.”

“Speaking of my other daughter,” he smiled. “Alexis texted about half an hour ago and said they will be here soon. As soon as they get here, I’ll drive into town and pick up the cake. Do you want me to pick up anything else while I’m in town?”

“I can’t think of anything. I’ll text you if we need something.”

“Good,” he stood up and placed her feet back on the sofa. “Stay here and read your book. Stop worrying about not feeling movement. Maybe you can talk to my mother about that when she gets here.”

Kate knew that Castle didn’t mean to be insensitive, but her eyes still filled with tears. “I don’t know why I’m crying,” she wiped at her face.

“I do, and I’m incredibly stupid,” he sat back down. “I’m sorry. I know that you would much rather be discussing these things with your own mother. I should’ve thought before I spoke.”

“Yes, I would rather be talking about baby related things with my mother, but I know that I can’t. I just never thought that it would hurt this bad, Castle,” her voice broke as she felt him pull her into his arms.

“Richard! Katherine!” They both heard his mother’s voice from the front of the house.

“They’re earlier than expected. Are you okay?” He asked, feeling her nod. “Do you still want me to go pick up the cake?” He felt her nod again. “Do you want me to send Mother back here?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Be careful.”

“I will.”

Castle found his mother and Alexis in the kitchen putting groceries away. “Hello, sweetie,” he first kissed his daughter on the cheek before turning to his mother. “Hello, Mother. How was the drive down?”

“Uneventful, as usual. Where is Katherine? And more important, how is she feeling today?”

“Kate is in my office. Physically, she’s feeling better. Emotionally . . . well, let’s just say she could use some mothering right now. I’ll leave you to that. I have to get to the bakery to pick up the cake. I should be back in an hour or so.”

“I’ll finish putting these away and get started on the appetizers, Gram. You go and see about Kate,” Alexis continued putting items away.

Martha walked down the short hallway to Richard’s office. She found Kate on the sofa with her book laying opened across her chest. “Richard said that you might be in need of some cheering up,” she announced, motioning for Kate to stay where she was. “How are you feeling?”

“Are people going to ask me that every day for the next five months?” Kate sat up and placed the book to one side.

“I’m afraid so. Now that we’re here, can I get just one teeny little hint on what my grandchild is?”

“Sorry, Martha. You, Alexis, and my father will all find out in a few hours,” Kate smiled, but just as suddenly, her smile vanished, and her eyes once again began to fill. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me today,” she reached for a tissue.

“I do. A girl always wants her mother with her when she’s expecting a baby. I know that there are things that you would want to share with her, and questions that you would want to ask her. I went through the same thing when I was expecting Richard. I didn’t know the first thing about being pregnant.”

“Does it get easier?”

“I could lie and say that it does, but I know that’s not what you want to hear.”

“I always miss her, Martha, but before I’ve been able to push it back. Lately I think about her all the time. I know that she would love being a grandma,” she smiled a watery smile, “just like you love being a grandmother to Alexis.”

“There’s no better feeling in the world than when you hold that precious baby for the first time. Even though your mother isn’t here in the flesh, she’s still a part of this. You and Richard can still make her a part of everything.”

“Thank you.”

“Oh, you’re welcome,” Martha sat beside Kate and gave her a tight hug. “Remember that you can ask me anything. And if I don’t know the answer, I’ll just make something up.”

“I did have one question. When did you feel Rick move for the first time?”

“I was on the subway,” Martha remembered. “It was so weird because I didn’t know what was going on. It felt like a million butterflies had been set loose in my stomach. It only lasted for about a minute, but then it kept happening. I know that I sounded insane when I called my doctor. He just laughed and explained that I was feeling the baby move for the first time. Believe me, toward the end, it was much more intense.”

“Do you remember how far along you were?”

“No. I think it was toward the end of my fourth month. Is Jenny Ryan going to be here today?”

“Yes.”

“She might be a better person to ask. She had her baby more recently than I did. Now, I’m going to go help Alexis in the kitchen. You stay here and take it easy.”

After Martha left, Kate got up and went into the master bath to wash her face. She then went into the kitchen where Alexis was mixing a bowl of guacamole. “Hi, Kate,” Alexis smiled when Kate hugged her. “Are you as excited as we are about the party?”

“More so,” Kate admitted. “I don’t think I’ve ever kept a secret for this long. Well, except for when your father and I first started seeing each other.”

“You look great.”

“Thank you.”

***CCC***

A few hours later, everybody was gathered out back. Ryan and Castle were both in the pool with two-year-old Sarah Grace, who was splashing around between the two men. Kate looked over at Jenny Ryan, who was holding three-month-old Nicholas Javier in her arms. “Kate, do you want to hold him?” Jenny asked.

“I don’t want to wake him,” Kate protested.

“Are you kidding? This kid sleeps through everything,” Jenny got up and brought the baby over to Kate.

Kate found it hard to breathe while she adjusted to the weight of the infant in her arms. “Relax, Captain,” Chief Gates told her. “The first one is always the most terrifying.”

“I don’t know if that makes me more or less scared,” Kate chuckled.

“I know that I have said a lot of things regarding Mr. Castle over the years, but I will never deny that he is a wonderful father.”

“Yeah, he is,” Kate looked over at the pool in time to see Castle toss Sarah-Grace up in the air. The little girl squealed with delight when she came back down in the water. “Jenny, thank you for bringing them.”

A short time later, Kate went into the house to get the gifts for their families. She came back outside with the three gift-wrapped presents. “These are all the same, so it doesn’t matter who opens theirs first.”

“Jim, you go ahead,” Martha urged him.

Jim removed the wrapping paper from his gift and gasped when he pulled out the framed picture of the ultrasound. “A little girl?” He looked at his daughter, who smiled broadly. “Oh Katie, that’s wonderful news!” He got up and went over to huge Kate. “This makes me so happy. Don’t get me wrong. I would’ve been thrilled with a little boy, but I was really hoping for a granddaughter.”

“Lily Johanna?” Martha was now looking at her gift. “What a beautiful name.”

“Lily is the first name of my OB/GYN. She was the one who broke the news to me and Castle two days after everything happened. Johanna, of course, was my mother.”

“I’m going to go get the cake,” Castle pressed a kiss to Kate’s temple.

“I’ll help, Writer-Boy,” Lanie got to her feet to follow Castle into the house.

“Man, Lanie,” Castle corrected her. “It’s Writer- _Man_.”

A few minutes later, Castle and Lanie returned with the cake, a tub of ice cream, plates, and utensils. Sarah-Grace’s eyes lit up at the sight of the cake. “The cake is beautiful,” Alexis complimented her father.

The cake was pink with white icing. The words ‘ _Welcome, Lily Johanna’_ had been written in pink letters with butterflies and roses piped along the edges. “I want a pink butterfly,” Sarah-Grace told her dad.

“I would like to say something,” Chief Gates stood up as all eyes went on her. “I hope that Miss Lily Johanna is born with her mother’s good sense and—”

“Oh no, here we go,” Castle said, causing everyone to laugh.

“Hold on, Mr. Castle, I wasn’t finished,” Chief Gates warned him. “As I was saying, I hope that Miss Lily Johanna is born with her mother’s good sense and her father’s sense of adventure and playfulness.”

“Wow, I think that’s the nicest thing I’ve ever heard you say about me,” Castle laughed.

“Don’t let it go to your head, Mr. Castle.”

“No, sir. I won’t.”

“Would anyone like to see Lily’s bedroom?”

Ryan and Esposito exchanged glances. “I think we’ll sit this one out,” Ryan said, watching his partner’s emphatic nod.

Kate led all the ladies up the stairs to the first bedroom. “I picked this bedroom because it’s on the same side of the house as our bedroom. I wanted Lily to have the same view that we have,” she opened the door and led them inside.

The bedroom was furnished with the all-white baby furniture. Lily’s name was spelled out in lilac colored letters on one wall. Kate had placed family pictures atop the chest of drawers. There was also a huge teddy bear in one corner of the room. “My dad bought the bear when he learned that I was pregnant.”

“He had it delivered to the P.I. office,” Alexis confirmed. “Hayley got to work, and it was outside the door.”

“This is so pretty, Kate,” Jenny complimented her.

“When we get moved back into the loft, I’ll give her a more elaborate nursery. Castle didn’t want me painting, and I didn’t want him helping on this one, so we compromised.”

“I’m so glad that you’re having a girl, Kate,” Jenny continued. “I have a ton of baby girl things that you’re more than welcomed to.”

“Thanks,” Kate walked over and looked out the window.

Martha looked at Lanie and motioned for her to talk to Kate. “I think we had better get back downstairs to see what the men are all talking about in our absence,” Martha motioned for the other women to follow her from the room.

Kate didn’t realize all the women except for Lanie had left until she felt her best friend’s hand on her shoulder. “How are you really, sweetie?”

“Most of the time, I’m okay,” Kate looked at Lanie and wiped at her eyes. “Today has been rough. Not physically. Today is actually a good day physically.”

“I’m not going to tell you that I know how rough it is, because I don’t. But you’re surrounded by people who love you. I know that doesn’t take the place of your mom. But you and Castle are giving this baby the most amazing gift of all. You’re giving her a part of your mother. When she gets old enough, you can tell Lily all about her grandma. She might never know her grandma, but she’s still going to be a part of her legacy.”

“The day that we had to meet with my team of doctors, Castle told them that Lily might grow up to cure cancer, or to bring about world peace. I think of the possibilities, Lanie, and they’re endless. I wonder if my mother thought of those things when she was expecting me.”

“I think every pregnant woman wonders what her child will grow up to be. Do you know when you’re returning to the city?”

“I want to wait until the loft is finished, but I think Castle wants to return sooner. It’s quiet here, Lanie.”

“I know. But you’re going to have to return sometime. Think of all the fun you’re going to have with Lily’s new bedroom in the loft. I’m going back down to join the guys. Are you coming?”

“I’ll be down in a few minutes.”

***CCC***

Downstairs, the men were sitting in patio chairs drinking beer, except for Jim, who was drinking iced tea. “When are you and Beckett coming back to the city?” Esposito asked. “You owe us at least 10 Halo nights.”

“Kate and I are at an impasse about that. I want to go back after her cousin’s wedding, so that we can stay at her old apartment. She wants to stay out here until the loft is ready. I don’t want to fight about it.”

“But she’s been okay?” Ryan wanted to know.

“Yeah. Except for that day at the hospital, she’s been great.”  
  


“Her blood sugar has been under control?” Jim asked.

“Yeah. She keeps talking about how quiet it is out here. I know when she got shot the first time, she told me that she had a lot of problems with the noise and bustle of the city.”

“Has she seen what’s his name? Her therapist?” Espo asked.

“Burke? No. Every time I bring it up, she gets angry. Upsetting her this time isn’t the same as upsetting her when she got shot in the cemetery.”

“Rick, I know that you want to maintain the peace for the sake of the baby, but you don’t want to cave into her, either. I worry about the two of you being out here, hours away from her doctors.”

“I hear you. Doctors visits wipe her out. Two hours there and back leaves Kate exhausted for two days afterwards. And that’s if the traffic is light. If we have to go into the city on a Friday or on a day where there’s an accident, it can take twice as long.”

“The baby’s room is beautiful, Rick,” Jenny complimented him as she and the other women returned to the group.

“Where’s Kate?” Castle asked.

“She’ll be down in a few minutes,” Lanie grabbed a beer from the ice chest before taking a seat next to Esposito.

“Kevin, we should get going pretty soon. The traffic is going to be a nightmare and you know how Nicholas gets if he’s stuck in his car seat for too long,” Jenny reminded her husband.

With those words, the party slowly began to break up. “Let me get Kate,” Castle got to his feet.

“You see to your guests. I’ll see about Katie,” Jim told his son-in-law.

Kate was still standing and staring out the window when she heard footsteps behind her. “What do you think?”

“It’s beautiful,” Jim walked over to stand beside his daughter. “Your guests are starting to leave.”

“That’s not really why you’re here, is it?”

“Go say goodbye to everybody. I’m not going anywhere.”

Kate went downstairs just as everybody was making their way to the front door. Everybody except for Martha and Alexis, who were staying the night. “Text us when you return to the city. Halo night, remember?” Espo slapped Castle on the shoulder. “Beckett, come by the Twelfth sometime. Demming hasn’t completed run the squad into the ground.”

“I’ll be back before he has a chance to do that,” Kate smiled, hugging first him, and then Ryan. “Be careful going home. Thank you so much for coming down.”

Castle took Kate’s hand in his, squeezing her fingers before giving her a tender smile. “You look tired.”

“I’m always tired. My dad is upstairs, and I have a feeling he isn’t going to let me avoid him.”

“Please don’t be angry at him. Promise me?”

“When you preface a request like that, it makes me think that he’s going to say something that I’m not going to like.”

She went back into the house, leaving Castle standing outside the front door. Taking a deep breath, she slowly walked back up to Lily’s room, where her father was still standing at the window. “I see why you chose this room,” he turned to smile at her. “The view is breathtaking.”

“What did he say to you?” Kate walked over and sat down in the rocking chair that had once belonged to her mother.

“Why won’t you call Burke, Katie?”

“Because we’ve been out here.”

“Katie, you were staying at the brownstone for two weeks before you came out here. You could’ve seen him then. Rick wants to return to the city.”

“I know. It’s quiet out here, dad.”

“I know that. Katie, it isn’t going to get any easier. At some point, you’re going to have to come back. Doesn’t it make sense to return now while you’re still feeling good rather than waiting? Rick was just telling me that the drive to the city and back for doctors appointments wear you out.”

“He’s right. I know that he worries. I don’t mean to make him worry. But what if it isn’t over, dad?”

“What? LokSat? Katie, you’re safe. I know that Rick is going to do everything in his power to make sure that you and the baby stay that way. You need to come back to the city. If you don’t want to stay in your old apartment, you can always stay with me. The loft is going to be ready in a few months.”

“I’m really tired. I think I’m going to go downstairs and take a bath.”

“Okay.”

A short time later, Kate was relaxing in a warm bubble bath. Her eyes were closed, and she was letting the water gradually relax her body. She heard the door open, and smiled, knowing that it was Castle. Her suspicions were confirmed when she heard various articles of clothing hit the floor. She opened her eyes and started to move up so he could enter the tub behind her. “I’m going to sit on this end,” he said, easing into the water across from her and taking one of her feet in his hands, massaging her instep.

“You really want to go back, don’t you?”

“Yes. But we won’t if you’re not ready.”

“Did I ever tell you why I went to my father’s cabin?”

“You said that you wanted a quiet place to heal.”

“I came back early because being out there wasn’t better than staying in the city. If I was walking and stepped on a twig, I would dive for cover.”

“That sounds painful,” he continued rubbing her feet.

“It was,” she admitted. “I’ll call Burke on Monday. Rick, I don’t mean to worry you.”

“I know. I was thinking that I may have a solution to the noise dilemma.”

“Soundproofing my old apartment?”

“Well, that _is_ one solution. How would you feel about staying in the hidden room at the P.I. office?”

“You do realize that your daughter and Hayley also work in that office?”

“I know. Alexis and I were discussing it while you were upstairs talking to your dad. Besides the copy of Poe that opens the door, I can also have a keycard lock installed. It’s not a big space, but we wouldn’t be there for long.”

“You are so sweet,” she moved closer to him. “You’d really do that just to make me feel safe?”

“I’d do anything to make you feel safe. I love you.”

“I love you, too. I love the thought that you would do that, but I think I’ll be okay in my old apartment. I’ll be okay anywhere with you.”

“So, we’re decided?”

“Yeah,” she moved closer to him, “we’re decided.”

***CCC***

Kate awoke early the following morning and lazily stretched before slipping out of bed to go to the bathroom. After returning to bed, she rolled over toward Castle. She ran her fingers through the lock of hair on his forehead, pushing it back with her fingers. “What time is it?” His voice was gravelly with sleep.

“It’s early,” she whispered. “Go back to sleep.”

“Too late,” he opened his eyes and reached out for her. “Hi.”

“Hi,” she nestled in his arms, still feeling sleepy and sated from the night before. “I think she got bigger overnight.”

“She’ll get bigger every day,” he slid under the sheets, moving his way down to her belly. “Good morning, Lily.”

“Castle, that tickles!” Kate giggled and reached under the sheets for him. Besides the ticklish feeling of his beard-roughened face on her stomach, she felt something else. It felt like champagne bubbles popping. “Oh my god!” She sat up in bed.

“What’s wrong?” Castle quickly popped out from under the bedsheets.

“She moved! Castle, she moved!”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” she smiled and took his hand. “Your mother said it would feel like butterflies. But it feels more like champagne or soda bubbles. It feels amazing.” Instead of rejoicing with her, Castle looked crestfallen. “Rick, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he gave her a quick smile. “I’ll just be happy when I can feel her.”

“You will soon.”

“I told you that she was okay.”

“Thank you,” she kissed him.

“For what?’

“For giving me Lily. For loving me. For never giving up on us.”

“Always.”


	11. Baby Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate resumes seeing Dr. Burke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I apologize if some of this is repetitive. I forgot that Kate had already seen the loft.

Full Circle  
Chapter 10: Baby Steps

August

“I was wondering when you were going to call me,” Dr. Carter Burke scrutinized his patient from where he was sitting.

“I spent June in the hospital and July in the Hamptons. I was beginning to think that I had things under control,” Kate stared down at her hands.

“When did you learn that you didn’t have things under control?”

“The first night back in the city. Castle and I returned to the city to attend my cousin’s wedding, and then we moved into my old apartment.”

“Why your old apartment? Why not the home that you share with Castle?”

“We got shot there.”

“I know, Kate.”

“Castle is having it renovated. Alexis describes it as looking like a bomb went off.”

“What happened on your first night back?”

“Castle got up in the middle of the night for some water. When I woke up, and he wasn’t there, my mind went back to the morning we got shot. I had a panic attack.”

“Given what you went through, that’s not an unusual reaction. Do the two of you talk about that morning?”

“No,” she was quick to shake her head.

“Why?”

“Why?” She repeated the question.

“Yes. Why?”

“We talked about it a little when we were still in the hospital. Now I think we’re just trying to focus on recovery and preparing for Lily’s arrival.”

“You know from the past that talking can help in your healing. Tell me about your injuries.”

“I got shot right here,” Kate pointed to her shoulder area. “That bullet went up and shattered my collarbone. They put it back together with screws. I was told that I might have to have more surgery in the future, but so far, I haven’t had any issues except for some mobility problems.”

“Are you going to therapy?”

“Yes. A couple of times a week. Castle and I both go.”

“And the second bullet?”

“The second bullet traveled up when it entered and lodged in my liver. They had to remove a lobe of my liver in order to get the bullet. But, as my wonderful surgeon loves to remind me, the liver is a wonderful organ. It has the ability to regenerate itself.”

“You don’t like your surgeon?”

“What gave you that idea?”

“The way you said, ‘wonderful surgeon.’ Tell me about him.”

“I haven’t seen him since last month. Now I see his associate, Dr. Jimenez.”

“The second bullet is problematic?”

“I almost bled to death. All my doctors are concerned about the possibility of the blood loss affecting Lily.”

“How do you feel about that?”

“Scared. Mostly, I try not to think about it. I feel her move and now Castle does, too. We love her no matter what.”

“Let’s talk about that morning.”

“Let’s not and say that we did.”

“It doesn’t work that way, Kate. You know that.”

“Do we have to do it today?”

“I’ll cut you some slack today. Next time?”

“Yes.”

“Then I’ll see you Friday.”

Kate left the building and walked out into the heat of the August morning. Being back was stifling. At least in the Hamptons, she felt like she had breathing room. Here in downtown Manhattan, everybody was in a mad rush to get nowhere.

This morning was the first morning she had gone anywhere without Castle. It had been unavoidable. He had a meeting with Black Pawn. A meeting that couldn’t be postponed any longer. Kate had assured him that she’d be fine. She told him that she’d meet him at the apartment later. 

Hailing a cab, she got inside and gave the driver the address for the Twelfth Precinct. She hadn’t seen anybody in weeks, and she also wanted to get possible updates on the investigation. 

When she stepped off the elevator on the fourth floor of the precinct, she didn’t spot the boys. But in the distance, she could see Demming working at her desk. In her office. The thought of it still pissed her off. “Let’s go see what he’s done to my office, Lily,” she rubbed her bulging belly before walking over to the closed door and knocking on it.

“Come in!”

“Hi,” Kate walked into the office, catching Demming off-guard. “I thought I’d drop by and see how things are going.”

“Kate, this is a nice surprise. Please, have a seat. The boys got called out for a body drop about 45 minutes ago. How are you feeling?”

“I was fine. Now I’m not so sure.” She couldn’t help looking around at the changes he had made to her office.

“Kate, it’s temporary. Believe me, I don’t like this any more than you do. Every morning when I come in here, I feel like I’m pushing you out. I’m ready to go back down to my office in Robbery the second that you’re ready to come back.”

“Has there been any leads on Elena Markov?”

“No,” he shook his head. “I’m on the phone with someone from Interpol at least once a week. We have intel that she returned to Russia, but there haven’t been any credible sightings of her.”

“What about Jackson Hunt?”

“He’s also in the wind.”

“I really don’t care if either of them is ever found. In my opinion, she did me and Castle a favor. What’s the latest on Flynn and the burned body in the trunk of Caleb Brown’s car?”

“Flynn, or whatever his real name is, remains in protective custody. He still won’t talk. As for the identity of the body in Brown’s car, it remains a mystery. The only thing that’s known for sure is that it was a male. He’s not in any of our databases.”

“There was a man involved in Castle’s disappearance. He told Castle that his name was Henry Jenkins, but we learned later that was a stolen identity. The last time that Castle had any contact with him was right after he was found. From what we were able to learn, he was also in the CIA. I don’t know if he was an associate of Jackson Hunt or Rita.”

“If the body was a CIA operative, his dental records should still be in a database somewhere. The M.E.’s best guess is that the body was most likely a homeless person.”

“Tom, most people in the homeless population have had run-ins with law enforcement. What are the odds that Caleb Brown and the others came across the only homeless person in New York City without a criminal record?”

“Keep in mind that not all homeless people go to dentists. Honestly, we’re not putting a hundred percent of our energy into it, anymore. Brown and Wood are dead. Flynn’s going to be going on trial. We got the who’s and the how’s. Does the rest really matter?”

“Yes, it matters. It matters to me and it matters to Castle.”

“Jackson Hunt told Castle that there were no more threats. He told him they had been neutralized.”

“Flynn isn’t ‘neutralized.’ Flynn is very much alive. Castle told me what Flynn did to him. He’s every bit as dangerous as the rest of them were. Maybe more so because he has no conscience.”

“He’s also in protective custody. When he’s found guilty, he’ll be heading to Colorado where he’ll be sharing space with the Uni-bomber and Terry Nichols.”

“If he lives that long.”

“What does that mean, Kate?”

“Elena Markov got to Wood. If you think she’s going to let Flynn live long enough to go to trial, then you’re not as smart as I thought you were.”

“Intel says that she returned to Russia,” he reminded her.

“Intel doesn’t always get it right.”

“You think she’s still in the states?”

“She liked living here. She was also very good at what she did.”

Demming sat back in his chair and scrutinized his colleague. She was as determined as she’d ever been. He knew if she could, she’d throw him out of her office and resume her duties as captain of the homicide squad. “Congratulations on the baby. Do you know what you’re having?”

“A girl.”

“You’re going to be a great mom.”

“If?”

“If what?” Demming was confused.

“Oh, I don’t know. I assumed that there was an ‘if’ or a ‘but’ in there.”

“It’s over, Kate.”

“Yeah,” she stood up, “I made the mistake of thinking that it was all over after I arrested Bracken for my mother’s murder. Tell the boys that I stopped by.”

She walked out of her office and went to the ladies room before getting on the elevator. “Oh, shit,” she muttered to herself before pulling out her phone and pressing a number in her contacts. “My name is Kate Castle. I need to speak to Dr. Armstrong, please. Yes, it’s an emergency.”

Thankfully, Dr. Armstrong came on the line within a couple of minutes. “Kate, what’s wrong?”

“I’m spotting.”

“Okay. Are you at home?”

“No.”

“Okay. Is Rick with you?”

“No. He had a meeting. I’m freaking out a little.”

“Kate, how heavy is the spotting?”

“Like the beginning of a period.”

“Are you cramping?”

“No. I feel fine except for the spotting.”

“Okay. Get to the hospital. I’ll meet you here. And Kate?”

“Yes.”

“Try not to freak out. More than likely, it’s not anything to worry about. I’ll see you soon.”

Kate washed her hands and left the restroom. It was only then that she hit her contacts for Black Pawn. “Black Pawn Publishing, this is Danielle.”

“Hi, Danielle. It’s Kate Castle. I need to speak to Rick. It’s an emergency.”

It took Castle 45 seconds to come to the phone and from the sound of it, he’d literally run to the phone. “Kate? What’s going on?”

“Castle, I’m spotting. Don’t freak out. I’ve already called Dr. Armstrong and I’m heading to New York Pres now. She said it’s likely nothing to worry about. But I’m still scared.”

“Okay. Let me tell Gina that I’m leaving. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

***CCC***

“How far along are you?” Kate was in an exam room with a young resident who didn’t look old enough to have a license, let alone be a doctor.

“I just entered my twenty-second week.”

“Are you having any pain or cramping?”

“No. My doctor said that she was—”

“Dr. Armstrong is on her way. I’m just here to get the preliminary stuff out of the way. When did the bleeding start?”

“I don’t know. I ran an errand, and I went to the ladies room when I was leaving. That was when I noticed it.”

The door opened and Dr. Armstrong stepped inside. “Her vital signs are good, Dr. Armstrong. I was just getting ready to do the ultrasound.”

“I can take over from here.” The doctor applied transducer gel to Kate’s abdomen before spreading it around with the transducer and then turning on the ultrasound. “What are we looking for, Mr. Tanner?” She asked the resident.

“The position of the placenta.”

“And?” She looked at him.

“Any signs of fetal distress.”

“Great, we’re having class,” Kate groaned.

“This is a teaching hospital, Kate. Young Mr. Tanner is one of our brightest residents. Tell me what you see, Mr. Tanner?”

“The placenta is where it should be, and the baby’s vital signs are all in the normal range.”

“So, why am I bleeding?”

“When is the last time that you and Rick had intercourse?”

“This morning.”

“Kate, there are many possible reasons for spotting during pregnancy. Most of them don’t mean anything serious. You can go ahead and get dressed,” she told her after wiping the gel from her stomach. “During pregnancy, there is an increase of blood flow to the cervix. Occasionally, this means that you might spot after intercourse. This is normal as long as the spotting remains light, or you start cramping.”

“Okay. Now I feel really stupid.”

“Don’t. This is your first pregnancy. I was in med school when I was pregnant with my daughter, and I was still surprised at how much I didn’t know.”

“Do I have to stop having sex?”

“No. As long as you’re enjoying it, continue. Kate, you won’t spot every time. It might never happen again. I just want you to be aware that it’s something that could happen and it’s nothing to worry about. I’ll go start your discharge papers.”

Dr. Armstrong was at the desk when Castle came running in. “Dr. Armstrong? Is Kate all right?”

“She’s fine. She’s getting dressed right now.”

“She told me that she was bleeding and I . . . I . . . “

“Rick, I know. I’ll let Kate explain everything to you when she comes out. But she’s okay.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure,” the doctor smiled at him.

A few moments later, Kate came out of the room and instantly found herself enveloped by her over-anxious husband. “Thank god you’re okay. Danielle told me that you were on the phone and that it was an emergency. Then you told me—”

“Rick, I’m okay,” she gently disentangled herself from his embrace. “I saw the blood and I got scared. I mean, it wasn’t a lot of blood, but I didn’t think that I was supposed to be seeing any blood unless something was wrong, and all I wanted was you. I just wanted you to tell me that we were okay. That I was okay. I needed you and you weren’t there. And I was so scared.”

“I know,” he wrapped his arms around her once again. “I’m sorry, Kate. I’m so sorry. Did Dr. Armstrong say why you were bleeding?”

“Can we sit over there?” She pointed to some nearby chairs. Once they were seated, she wiped at her face with her fingers. “She said something about an increase of blood flow to the cervix. And she wanted to know when we last had sex.”

“This happened because we made love? Oh god, Kate,” he rubbed his face with his hands.

“Castle, it’s okay. We can still make love,” she smiled. “Because going the next four months without sex isn’t an option.”

“Kate, I don’t want to make you bleed.”

“Castle, it’s okay. The doctor said that it might not happen again. She said as long as I’m not bleeding heavily or cramping, that everything is okay. Is Gina pissed?”

“No. As a matter of fact, she offered to drive me over here. But I told her that I had the car. She even offered to postpone the West Coast trip.”

“Castle, that’s two months away. If they won’t let me go, I’ll have Martha or Alexis stay with me. I’ll miss you terribly, but it’s only going to be four days.”

“Kate?” They looked up to find Dr. Armstrong standing in front of them. “You’re free to go. The spotting has stopped, but if it starts up again or you start cramping, give me a call. Okay?”

“Okay. Thank you. Come on, Castle. Take me home.”

When they returned to Kate’s old apartment 45 minutes later, Castle got her settled on the sofa while he went to make them some lunch. “How was your meeting with Burke?”

“Awful. He asked if we talk about that morning.”

“What more is there to talk about? Caleb Brown came out of the shadows from somewhere in our home, shot me, shot you, left us for dead after you shot him. There isn’t too much more to talk about,” he came back into the living room carrying a tray with sandwiches and drinks. 

“I went to the precinct when I left Burke’s office.”

“Did you see the boys?”

“They were out on a body drop. I talked to Demming. He looked too comfortable in my office.”

“What did you and Demming talk about?”

“Elena Markov. The identity of the body in the trunk of Caleb Brown’s car. He said they still don’t know who it was. They couldn’t run his fingerprints due to the condition of the body, and his dental records haven’t matched anyone yet. I suggested that maybe it was Henry Jenkins, or whatever your handler’s real name is.”

“He wasn’t my handler, Kate.”

“Demming thinks it might have been a homeless person. But most homeless people are in the system.”

“Keep in mind that in real life, it takes longer to run dental records than it does on those super-science-y forensics shows.”

“I know, Castle. Homicide detective, remember? Don’t you wonder what happened to him?”

“He told me after Montreal that he’d never see me again.”

“Hayley knew him.”

“Hayley knew a lot of people. Including my father.”

“Do you think you’ll ever see him again?”

“No. At least, I hope not. You need to eat, Kate.”

“I want to see the loft again,” she took a bite of her sandwich.

“Kate—”

“I know that the kitchen isn’t there right now. I need to see it again, Rick.”

“We’ll go tomorrow. If you eat.”

“Yes, dad,” she grinned at him before picking up her sandwich and taking another bite.

Later that evening, Kate was propped against the headboard of the bed with her feet in Castle’s lap. After they had taken a shower, her husband had offered to paint her toenails for her. “Has anyone told you that you’re very good at this?” She smiled at him.

“I learned when Meredith was pregnant with Alexis. She liked having her toenails painted, but it was awkward for her to do it after about the sixth month.”

“I’m not huge yet, Castle. I think I’m still capable of painting my own nails.”

“It makes me feel useful.”

“Rick?” She waited until he was looking at her. “You will always be useful to me and to our daughter.”

“I should’ve been with you today. You shouldn’t have had to go through that alone.”

“I was scared,” she admitted. “But I instantly felt more at ease when Dr. Armstrong assured me that everything was okay. I got to see Lily today,” she smiled.

“How is our daughter looking?” He capped the nail polish and placed it on the nightstand.

“Wonderful. It looked like she was waving at me.”

After carefully placing Kate’s feet back on the bed, he moved up beside her and lifted the t-shirt that she was wearing, exposing her stomach. He smiled when he felt Lily’s movements beneath his hand. “Pretty soon, you’ll see her hands and feet. I would see Alexis’ hands all the time. It was amazing.”

“I can’t wait until I can hold her. I have to know that she’s okay.”

“She’s going to be perfect.”

“She already is,” her lips met his in a slow, soft kiss.

***CCC***

The next morning, Kate stood beside Castle in front of the door to the loft. She couldn’t stop the shaking that was going on in her body. The last time she had stood in front of this door had been the day she had been discharged from the hospital. “Are you ready?” Castle asked, the keys in his hand. “If you’re not ready, we can go back to the apartment.”

“Let’s go in.”

Castle placed the key in the lock and slowly turned the handle. The first thing that struck Kate upon entering their home was the stark emptiness. She had never seen the loft without its furnishings. The second thing she noticed was the space where the kitchen had once been was completely bare. 

Forcing her feet to move forward, she slowly walked toward the former kitchen space. The floor was dusty where the contractors had removed everything. But she would never be able to erase the image of Castle on the floor with Caleb Brown standing over him, a gun pointed at her husband’s head. “Is it going to be finished before Lily comes?”

“Yeah. I asked them to take the morning off today because you wanted to see it. Jake said they’re actually ahead of schedule. They’re hoping to get everything completed by the middle of November.”

“That’s a long time.”

“They want to make sure everything is the way that we want it. So, they’re taking their time. Can I ask you something?”

“What?” She turned toward him.

“How did you know that something was wrong?”

“I heard you fall. Then I heard a second voice. Since you and I were the only ones here, I knew something was wrong. I still don’t understand how he was alive. Where is our stuff?”

“I rented a storage unit near here. Everything is there. Hayley knew some guys who packed everything up.”

Castle watched Kate. He noticed that her eyes hadn’t left the spot on the floor where he had fallen that May morning. He had thought that he was a dead man. His final thoughts had been for Kate, who had been in their bedroom when Caleb Brown had shot him. He knew that after Brown killed him, that he was going to go after Kate. His wife never would’ve seen it coming. The thought made him nauseous. “Are you okay?” He asked.

“No,” she shook her head. “We could’ve died.”

“Thank god the neighbor heard your shots.”

“Thank god Alexis hadn’t come home with us that morning. I would’ve been responsible for her being shot, too.”

“Kate—”

“I never meant for any of this to happen,” she finally turned to look at him, tears on her cheeks. “If I had known what we were walking into—”

“I know,” he walked over and wrapped his arms around her, feeling her trembling in his arms. “None of us knew. But it’s over now. All of us are safe.”

“I want state of the art security installed, Castle.”

“I’m already working on it. And you’ll be happy to know that the doormen in this building are also being retrained on people entering the building.”

“That’s kind of like closing the barn door once the cows have gotten out, but okay.”

“Are you ready to go home?” He felt her nod against his shoulder. “Let’s get out of here.”

***CCC***

Friday morning, Kate sat in her usual chair across from Burke. He was watching her, wondering what was going through her head. “I have a question,” she finally spoke up.

“What is your question, Kate?”

“How do I stop feeling guilty?”

“I can help you with that. Tell me what you’re thinking about right now.”

“Alexis was visiting me one morning right after everything happened. I think it was the morning that Ryan was questioning Rick. She asked me what would’ve happened if she had been with her father and me that morning.”

“What did you tell her?”

“I told her that I didn’t know. Which was a lie. That organization wouldn’t leave any witnesses. I think that I feel worse over what could’ve happened to Alexis than I do about what happened to me and Castle.”

“You aren’t responsible for the thinking of a madman with a gun, Kate. You didn’t invite him into your home. And you certainly didn’t ask him to shoot you and your husband.”

“But I was responsible for setting the wheels in motion for what happened that morning.”

“How so?”

“Back last September, when I went on the run with Vikram Singh, we met a woman named Rita. She claimed to be Castle’s stepmother. She warned me to let LokSat go. She told me what would happen if I didn’t. I found out that Castle had gone to see Senator Bracken in prison before he was murdered. Castle told me that Bracken had told him that I would never be happy just being his wife. Is that true?”

“I don’t know, Kate. Are you ready to talk about the events leading up to what happened that morning?”

“Yeah. If I don’t, I’ll never be able to put it behind me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me: Wylie.Cindy@Yahoo.com


	12. Perspectives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate has a session with Burke, where she reveals a great deal about the night before the shooting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N #1: This chapter takes up where the previous one ends. This chapter and the next will be the last ones that will place the primary focus on LokSat. The investigation will continue, but it won’t be the primary focus of the last few chapters.
> 
> A/N #2: There is a ‘The Walking Dead’ reference in this chapter. After all, it’s me writing about Castle. How could there not be a reference? I apologize to those who have no idea what I’m talking about.

**FULL CIRCLE**

**Chapter 11: Perspectives**

“Two months before everything happened, Castle went to Los Angeles. It had to do with his disappearance,” Kate began reminiscing. “He had a dream that he was in Chinatown. So, he went to L.A. to investigate. He took Alexis and Hayley with him. While he was there, he got an invitation about something called the G.D.S. I had never heard of it, but Castle was all excited to get an invitation. The G.D.S. was run by Mason Wood.”

“LokSat?”

“Well, we didn’t know it at the time. He invited Castle to join his organization. Knowing everything that I know now, I think he wanted Castle there to keep tabs on him.”

“Did Castle find out that he was LokSat?”

“No. There’s more. Hayley showed Castle a video tape recording he had made while he was missing. Castle found out about LokSat a year before I ever heard the name. We still don’t know all the details, but he got shot by someone in LokSat’s organization. After that was when he had Henry Jenkins erase his memory. We didn’t know that Vikram Singh would contact me months later.”

“Talk to me about Caleb Brown.”

“At one time, Caleb Brown had been the attorney for Vulcan Simmons. Vikram learned that Brown was probably balls deep with LokSat. I tried to convince him to work with us. A month or so before we got shot, Castle and I came home one night and found Brown in the apartment. He gave me a burner phone with instructions on when and where to use it. I was stupid enough to think that I had turned him to our side.”

“You weren’t stupid, Kate. You were hopeful.”  
  


“Have you ever been hospitalized?”

“I had my appendix out. I was in the hospital overnight.”

“When you’re in the hospital for a long period of time, you have a lot of time to think. Castle and I have always been in synch. Even before we were a couple. We both came to two conclusions. Caleb Brown was in our apartment that night to test our security.”

“That’s one conclusion. What was the other one?”

“He was the head of the snake.”

“Caleb Brown was LokSat?”

“He planned his ‘death,’ in the hopes that Castle and I would die in the ambush that followed.”

“What happened during the ambush?”

“Castle, Hayley, and I were getting our asses kicked when this taco truck came out of nowhere. Mason Wood was behind the wheel. I was leery of him, but Castle told me that I could trust him.”

“You suspected something was wrong?”

“Yeah, and I wish that I had trusted my instincts. I should’ve shot him on the spot. But it wouldn’t have changed anything that happened later. Caleb Brown still would’ve shot us. Then he would’ve gone after everyone else.”

“When did you realize that something was wrong?”

“Castle and I split up. I told him to go to the P.I. office and I would meet up with him later. He didn’t want to go. I knew that he’d be safer there. And I knew that Alexis and Martha were there. He needed to keep them safe.” She took a deep breath and rubbed her abdomen, feeling Lily’s reassuring kicks against her hand.

“Does she move a lot?” Dr. Burke asked, knowing that Kate needed a break from therapy for a few minutes.

“Yeah,” Kate smiled. “It makes me feel better knowing that she’s so active. Most of my doctors aren’t optimistic about her chances.”

“Have you and Rick talked about that morning?”

“He doesn’t see the point.”

“Do you want to talk about that morning with him?”

“No, not really,” which both Dr. Burke and Kate knew was a bald-faced lie.

“Let’s go back to that morning. When you walked into the apartment, did anything seem off?”

“No.”

“Not even knowing everything that you know now?”

“No. I don’t know where he was hiding, but when we walked in, there was no sign that he was in the apartment. If I hadn’t heard Rick fall, I never would’ve known anything was wrong.”

“You didn’t hear the gunshot?”

“He was using a suppressor. The neighbors called the police after they heard the shots from my off-duty weapon.”

“What was your immediate reaction when you heard Rick fall?”

“I knew that something was wrong. He was saying something about why Caleb Brown’s body hadn’t been burned in the incinerator in Wood’s building. Then I heard the thud, and then Caleb Brown’s voice.”

“What did he say?”

“I don’t know. I just remember feeling scared. I got my gun from the safe in our bedroom and then I went into the living room and confronted him. He was . . . he was standing over Rick with his gun aimed at his head. Castle wasn’t moving, but I could hear him breathing. His breathing . . . was labored. That’s how I knew that Caleb had already shot him. Caleb hadn’t seen me yet, so I used that to my advantage. I called out Castle’s name, and when Caleb turned, I started shooting at him. He fell against the back wall between the kitchen and the dining room. I can still see the look on his face.”

“Did you know that you were wounded?”

“Not at first. I remember feeling really weak and then I saw the blood on my shirt. That’s the last thing that I remember clearly. Castle told me that I crawled to him, but I still don’t remember that.”

“Maybe it’s better that you don’t remember that.”

“Maybe.”

“I noticed that Castle isn’t in my waiting room today.”

“He wanted to come with me, but I convinced him not to. We have to get used to being away from each other. He worries because of my last visit with you.”

“When you had to go to the ER?”

“Yeah. He feels bad because he wasn’t with me.”

“His being with you wouldn’t have changed anything.”

“I was scared. I wanted him with me, and he wasn’t. And today I told him to run his errands and I would be fine.”

“And you are.”

“And I am.”

“What else is on your mind, Kate? We have a few minutes.”

“We split up that last day that we were together before everything went to Hell. I made him go to the P.I. office and he didn’t want to. I made him go, and later he was tortured by one of Caleb Brown’s men. He gave Castle some sort of truth serum and then Mason Wood came in and began questioning him about everybody who knew about Loksat. Castle told me that he tried not to give in to his questions. But the truth serum rendered him powerless to resist the interrogation.”

“They were going to kill everybody?” Burke guessed, watching Kate nod.

“Castle told me that Wood told him that he was going to meet me, and he did pick me up. But we think that he called Caleb Brown with instructions. The only people who would’ve been spared would’ve been Lanie and my dad. They didn’t know anything about LokSat.”

“You and Castle weren’t attacked until the following morning. That would’ve given Brown plenty of time to take out your friends and Castle’s mother and daughter. Why weren’t any of them attacked?”

“I haven’t been able to figure that one out, yet. My guess is Brown saw the news coverage of Mason Wood’s arrest on TV later that night. Which was how he learned that Castle and I weren’t dead. There’s still so much that I don’t know.”

“There’s so much that you may never know. Which isn’t a bad thing, Kate. You have a daughter arriving in just a few months. Now is a good time to shift your entire focus to her. Not knowing all the answers isn’t always a bad thing. Two of the main players are dead. The other one is facing a long jail term in a maximum-security prison. It’s time to move on.”

“Have you ever known me to ‘move on?’” Kate smiled sardonically at her therapist.

“There’s a first time for everything.”

Kate was about to say something further when she felt her phone vibrate against her hip. She pulled it out and smiled. “Castle is in your reception area.”

“Getting into trouble?”

“Not yet, but he just got here.”

“I’ll see you Wednesday.”

Castle was leafing through an old magazine when the office door opened, and Kate stepped out. “Dr. Burke wanted to know if you were getting into trouble,” she walked over and kissed him.

“Doesn’t he have any magazines from this century? This one has the original article about Pavlov and his dog.”

“Let’s go home,” she reached down for his hand, smiling when she felt his fingers curl protectively around hers.

***CCC***

She and Lily had felt like omelets for dinner, so Castle was bustling around the much smaller kitchen in her old apartment, creating omelets for his wife and soon-to-be baby daughter. Kate had the feeling that if she and Lily had requested roasted Yak that he would’ve moved heaven and earth to find them exactly what they craved.

But Kate also noticed that he seemed different now. She had never paid much attention to it since her discharge from the hospital. But now Dr. Burke’s question brought the issue to the surface. Before when Castle was cooking, he was full of his usual non-stop banter. Kate noticed now that he was quiet when making them meals.

While out in the Hamptons, Kate had suggested that maybe they should both see Dr. Burke when they returned to the city. Castle had been quick to shoot that idea down. So, Kate had let it drop. She knew that he dreamed. They both did. But it was just something else to be added to the myriad list of things that they didn’t discuss.

“One Swiss Cheese and Bacon Omelet for the lady,” Castle put the plate in front of Kate before sitting down across from her with his own omelet.

“Thank you,” she smiled at him before taking the first bite. “Oh, this is perfect!”

“You’re quiet,” he observed before he took the first bite of his omelet.

“So are you.”

“Did you have a good session today?”

“Yeah, I think so. Do you think about it?”

“I try not to.”

“Did you see him? Before he shot you?”

“Are we really going to talk about this now?” Castle put his fork down on his plate.

“You do know that we’re going to have to talk about it sometime? You’re different, Rick. I don’t think that I even noticed how different until I was watching you make our dinner.”

“Cooking is hard now,” he admitted. “I try to rely on muscle memory, but every time I step into the kitchen, I go right back to that morning. That’s the last thing I got to do before everything went south.”

“Castle, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking—”

“It isn’t your fault. It’s getting better. And I’m usually okay once I get started. It’s just those first few minutes that it’s horrible. Taking out a pan and putting it on the stove. That’s still hard. No, I didn’t see him. I’m still not sure where he was hiding. One second I was alone in the kitchen, getting ready to make us breakfast, and the next I was flat on my back, struggling to breathe.”

“We had a conversation on the way to the building. Mason Wood and me. I don’t remember the whole conversation. I remember telling him that you’re the love of my life. That I was crazy about you,” her words made him smile. “When he got my gun away from me, he told me that you were . . . that you were dead.”

“Kate—”

“I have to finish. Please? I haven’t even talked about this with Burke. He was standing in front of the incinerator, and he told me that you were dead. That you were a pile of ashes. I told him that he wasn’t killing me, not without a fight.”

“I think he _thought_ that I was dead. He didn’t know that I had managed to get free of Flynn with a little help from the boys, and whatever cavalry they brought with them. He did look more than a little surprised when I showed up.”

“What did Caleb Brown say to you after he shot you? I heard him say something after I heard you fall, but I couldn’t hear what he said.”

“He said that he had told Wood that I would figure out that he wasn’t dead. He said he couldn’t let you and me keep chasing him or something to that effect afterwards. Everything got fuzzy.”

Castle picked up his fork and began eating, indicating to Kate that he didn’t want to talk about it anymore. But she wasn’t ready to let things drop just yet. “I’m glad that Alexis didn’t come home with us that morning.”

“So am I.”

***CCC***

When Castle walked into the bedroom after taking a shower, he smiled at the sight of Kate, her arms wrapped around his pillow, sound asleep. Talking earlier had brought up too many memories. Memories that he wanted to put behind him. But he knew that the detective in Kate had to know all the answers. Once upon a time he had been that way, too. But no more. Now the answers were scarier than the questions.

Kate opened her eyes and smiled when she felt the bed dip under Castle’s weight. “You smell good.”

“As opposed to when I _don’t_ smell good?”

“No, you always smell good. That first night you were in my interrogation room, I thought about how good you smelled. But you smell really good right now,” she curled tighter into his side.

“So, you really didn’t hate me the first time we met?”

“No, I still hated you. But you smelled good.”

For some reason her words caused tears to well up in his eyes. He took a deep breath and quickly brushed them away before Kate fully woke up and noticed. Sensing the change in his body language, Kate opened her eyes and looked at him. He could feel her eyes burning into him, willing him to speak. “I woke up and you weren’t there.”

“That morning?”

“I’m not sure when it was. My mother was there, and Alexis. I couldn’t move. At first, neither of them would tell me anything. It took me a few minutes to remember what had happened. But then I remembered Caleb Brown, and all the shooting. I guess I lost consciousness again. When I woke up, Alexis was there. I don’t know where Mother was. I asked Alexis about you. Again, she didn’t want to tell me anything. I think I asked her if you were dead. She was quick to tell me that you weren’t. But she wouldn’t tell me anything else.”

“I thought that you were dead. I could hear you fighting to breathe. I don’t remember crawling to you. I don’t remember anything after it happened except for your breathing.”

“I heard someone kicking in the door. Then I heard a lot of voices. Then I heard Kevin saying something about Alexis being downstairs. I tried to tell them to keep her away, but I couldn’t talk. It didn’t hurt much. I always thought getting shot would hurt a lot more. But it completely sucked the oxygen out of me.”

“I’m sorry, Castle. For all of it. I didn’t know—”

“None of us did. It was like on The Walking Dead when Rick and the others were going after Negan. They had no idea what they were walking into. I know if you had known, you would’ve backed off.”

“I left to keep you safe. That was stupid.”

“I know that you want to talk about it. I’m just not ready to talk about _all_ of it.”

“What more is there to talk about?”

“Before.”

“Before?”

“The hours _before_ everything happened.”

“You and Flynn?” She guessed, watching him nod. “We’ll discuss everything a little at a time. Okay?”

“Okay. For now, you and Lily should get some sleep.”

The next morning when Castle opened his eyes, he saw Kate sitting beside him on her laptop. “What’re you doing?”

“Shopping. I never realized how much stuff you need for a baby.”

“We have three and a half months to get all the baby stuff. I was thinking,” he sat up. “Do you want to go to your father’s cabin this weekend?”

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea. I feel good right now, but when I have a bad day, I don’t like being that far from a doctor. Speaking of doctors, I have an appointment with Dr. Jimenez next week.”

“You’re not jaundiced, so we know your liver’s working fine. I can’t believe those doctors are still being the voices of doom.”

“It’s their job. How many car seats should we buy?”

“If everybody has one, then we won’t have to swap car seats back and forth. We need two for our vehicles, Mother will need one. So will Alexis, and your dad. So, five total. We’ll get the one that grows with her. That way, we never have to buy another car seat. Are we really talking about car seats?”

“It beats talking about my liver function,” she gave him a look before returning to her shopping.

“Are you hungry?”

“I’m always hungry.”

“I’ll go make us breakfast and then we won’t discuss your liver function further.”

She couldn’t help smiling as she watched him walk toward the bathroom. He was so damn cute! “Your daddy is so silly, Lily. But he loves us so much. That’s why we love him, too.” She clicked onto the infant clothes, biting back a groan as she continued surfing. “Lily, there is no way in hell I’m dressing you in all this pink . . . crap!” She grimaced and rubbed the long scar on her abdomen. “I really wish you wouldn’t kick right there.”

An hour later, Kate was sitting at the dining table while Castle made them bacon and eggs. “I’m glad you haven’t experienced any weird cravings.”

“Did Meredith?”

“She didn’t have weird cravings. She just wanted weird combinations of things. Like bananas and Nutella.”

“That doesn’t sound weird. That actually sounds pretty good.” She pulled her phone out. “Siri, add Nutella to my shopping list. Did Alexis have a lot of pink clothes when she was a baby?”

“The usual amount for a baby girl. But as a redhead, Alexis never looked great in pink. It made her clash. But I remember that my ex-mother-in-law sent her this Baby Dior dress. Straight from Paris. I think that one dress cost more than the rent we were paying on our apartment. Alexis wore it once and then outgrew it. I think my mother might actually still have that dress somewhere.”

“Meredith’s parents were rich?”

“Not extravagantly so, but yeah, they had money. But they weren’t baby people. Meredith was an only child, too. Her parents just couldn’t relate to Alexis. It’s hard to explain.” He looked across the counter and saw that Kate was visibly upset. Her lower lip was trembling, and she was fighting to hold back tears. He removed the skillet from the stove and rushed over to her. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t tell me that. I can see that something’s wrong. Is it what I said about Meredith’s parents not being baby people?”

“Castle, I’m not a baby person, either. What if I do everything wrong?”

“You’re not going to do everything wrong. You love Lily, don’t you?”

“More than anything in this world.”

“Then you’ve already got a leg up on both Meredith and her parents. Besides, you’re married to the baby whisperer, remember? You’re going to be a great mom.”

“Will you promise to remind me of that every day for the next 18 years?”

“Absolutely.”

A couple of hours later, Castle was sitting at the dining table with his laptop. He was supposed to be answering emails, but instead his mind was somewhere else. His heart began racing wildly when he remembered the terror of waking up and finding himself strapped down to a table in an unfamiliar room. He didn’t remember how he had arrived in that room, but he knew that nothing good was going to come of him being there.

Kate was sitting on the sofa reading a book on her Kindle. It was only after reading several pages that she realized that she wasn’t hearing the sound of Castle’s fingers rapidly typing on his keyboard. She glanced over her Kindle and saw the look of horror on his face. She didn’t know where he was, but she knew that he wasn’t in this room with her. “Rick?” She softly called out his name. When he didn’t respond, she placed her Kindle aside and got up from the sofa. “Rick?” She slowly stepped up to him and placed one hand on his shoulder.

He jumped slightly, but her touch brought him back from wherever he had disappeared to. “Hey,” he smiled at her.

“Hey, yourself,” she smiled back before sitting down in a chair opposite him. “Where did you disappear to?”

“I went back to _before_.”

“Castle, we don’t have to do this now.”

“I just wanted to be with you. Alexis, Hayley, and my mother all begged me not to leave. If I hadn’t left—”

“They would’ve found another way to split us up. The phones were bugged, Castle. They knew every move we were making.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For not suspecting when I was in L.A.”

“Castle, did Mason Wood give you any indication that he was connected to LokSat? Was there anything that he said, or did that make you rethink things in retrospect?”

“Just one thing and it seemed so innocuous at the time. When he offered me the spot in the G.D.S., I declined. I told him that I already had a great partner. He made a comment about looking forward to meeting you sometime. It didn’t strike me as odd until after everything happened. There was just something about the way that he said it.”

“Did you meet the other man while you were in L.A.? The one who kidnapped you?”

“No. I’d never seen him before until the day I got into that cab. He was just so _creepy_ , Beckett. I mean, we’ve met weird people before. But this guy could give a masterclass on being creepy. It was like he had no soul. He gave me that truth serum, and then he started asking questions about you. About us. And then he told me . . . he told me—” he broke down sobbing, burying his face in his hands.

“Castle, it’s okay,” she placed her hands on his shoulders, forcing him to lower his hands and look at her. “It’s okay. Whatever he said to you, we’ll face it. Together. Just like we always have.”

“I told him that you were going to find him. Him and LokSat. I told him that you were going to bury him. It was the first thing I’d said to him that felt good. Because of the serum, I was telling him the truth. I even told him that. He said that just because it was the truth didn’t mean it was going to happen. He told me that you were going to be dead by the end of the night and that there was nothing that I could do about it.”

“How did you get away?”

“It happened so fast. It happened right after Wood left after he forced me to give up everyone. Flynn was about to give me something that would stop my heart when the boys showed up out of nowhere with what seemed like the whole fucking cavalry. I think Espo wounded Flynn in the shoulder and it allowed me to get the drop on him. I was able to hook him up with the truth serum and I found out where Wood was taking you. When did you know that Wood was connected to LokSat?”

“I don’t think I ever let go of my suspicions from that morning in the taco truck. All afternoon, I had a lot of time to think. There were just too many things that didn’t add up. Too many red flags. The biggest red flags were the burner phones. When he called me to set up the meet, I think that’s when I knew for certain that he was part of LokSat. When he led me into the basement and I saw the incinerator, I knew why I was there.”

“Flynn’s never going to talk.”

“No,” she agreed. “But there’s enough evidence against him to ensure that he’ll never see the light of day again.”

“I wake up in the middle of the night and I can still see him standing next to me with that smug look on his face. I should’ve killed him—”

“No, Castle. I’ve been there. You don’t want something like that hanging over you.”

“You didn’t have a choice, Kate,” he knew that she was referring to Kelly Nieman.

“I know. But it’s still something that’s hard to live with. Chief Gates is hopeful that the Justice Department will offer him a plea deal that he’ll accept. He’ll go away to Colorado, and we’ll put this chapter of our lives behind us. I know that the guilt is hard to let go of. But you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“How do I stop seeing him?”

“Do you remember what you told me the night that you got me away from Kelly Neiman? When I told you about seeing her every time I closed my eyes? When you see him in your dreams or in your waking moments, open your eyes and look at me. Okay?”

“Okay,” he moved closer and kissed her. “You think that I should see Burke, don’t you?”

“That’s not my call to make. You talk to me. If that feels like enough, then you don’t need to talk to anyone else. If you feel like you need more, then you can call him and make an appointment.”

“I don’t think about that night constantly.”

“I know. We’re going to get through this, Castle.”

“We already are.”

***CCC***

“I learned more about the night before the shooting,” Kate was sitting in her customary spot across from Dr. Burke two days later.

“How did that make you feel?”

“Flynn tortured my husband. How do you think it makes me feel?”

“I don’t know, Kate. What was your first reaction when Rick told you?”

“How did you know he was the one who told me?”

“Because nobody knows what happened that night except for him. You weren’t there, and the police hadn’t arrived yet to rescue him.”

“When he first told me, he was so scared. And then he told me that Flynn told him that I was going to be dead by the end of the night and there was nothing that he could do about it. I got angry when he told me that.”

“Why?”

“Because he was told that, and I wasn’t there to comfort him. I wasn’t there to get him away from Flynn or LokSat.”

“You told me a few weeks ago that you met with Mason Wood that night. Did you know at that time that he was LokSat?”

“I had suspected that he was part of the organization all day long. Wood arriving when he did at the ambush was just too coincidental. Before we split up from him, he gave each of us burner phones. At the time, it didn’t make any sense. But the more that I thought about it, the more I knew that he had given us the burner phones to keep track of our whereabouts. When he called me that evening and arranged to meet me, I knew that he probably already had Castle.”

“Why did you meet him then?”

“His men had already shot my squad room up once. I knew that if I didn’t meet him, there was going to be another ambush. I couldn’t put my people in jeopardy.”

“You didn’t tell your team that you were leaving?”

“No. Again, I couldn’t risk putting them in danger. Ryan and Esposito didn’t know that much about LokSat. Just his name and the little that I had told them. But, according to Castle, that was enough for LokSat to target them for death. Before Mason Wood met up with me, he had questioned Castle. He got Castle to reveal everybody who knew about his operation. If we had died in that incinerator that night, Wood, Caleb Brown, and possibly Flynn, would’ve killed everybody else in our family. They wouldn’t have left anyone alive. Castle thinks they would’ve left my father and Lanie, but I’m not so sure.”

“Why would they have left your father and Lanie alive?”

“Because they were the only two people in our inner circle who knew nothing about what Castle, and I were into. But I don’t think they would’ve left anyone alive. It was just too risky. And we also don’t think that Wood was LokSat. We think he was the right-hand man. We think that Caleb Brown was actually LokSat. We can’t prove it, but it makes sense.”

“The man known as Flynn? He still isn’t talking?”

“According to Chief Gates, he hasn’t said one word since being taken into custody. Except to ask for a lawyer. Nobody seems to know who he really is. The only thing he told Castle about himself is that he had been raised by the state.”

“He was in the foster care system?”

“Maybe. But the way Castle described it, I don’t think so.”

“After Rick told you about that night, did things feel better?”

“What do you mean?”

“You once referred to the night before the shooting as the elephant in the room. Did things feel normal once Rick told you about that night?”

“Not normal, but he was able to fill in a lot of blanks that weren’t covered by the press conferences.”

When Kate left Burke’s office, her mind went back to a question that the therapist had asked her. Instead of going home, she drove to the Twelfth. “Beckett, what are you doing here?” Espo called out to her when she got off the elevator on the fourth floor. “And where is your shadow?”

“Castle is at home writing. Can you guys come with me?” She motioned for them to follow her to her office. She knocked on the door frame to get Demming’s attention.

“Kate, is everything all right?”

“Castle and I were talking last night about the night before the shooting. He said that Flynn made a comment to him about being raised by the state. Is there any way to find out if he had been in the foster care system?”

“Kate, we ran his prints. There is no record of him anywhere. And we all know that Flynn isn’t his real name.”

“Did you run him through Interpol?”

“No.”

“Castle told me a while back that Flynn spoke like someone whose original language wasn’t English. Everything he said was very precise.”

“Beckett, what exactly did Castle say about Flynn being raised by the state?” Ryan asked.

“He said that Flynn had never experienced the love of a family because he had been raised by the state. Those were Castle’s exact words. What’re you thinking?”

“I know that I’m going to come across sounding like one of Castle’s weird theories, but the CIA ran a lot of experiments in the 60’s and 70’s. If Flynn was subjected to one of those experiments, it could explain a lot about him. It’s even possible that he never had a real name. That he was given a name for whatever purpose they had for him at the time.”

“Whatever his real name is, Flynn isn’t talking,” Demming sat back in his chair. “If he was indeed raised by the CIA, then he’s been trained to never give up information. The truth is, Beckett, that we’re never going to know anything about him.”

“Castle and I need closure on this, Tom.”

“I understand that, but you may not ever get complete closure on this one. The guy has not said 10 words in three months. He doesn’t even talk to his own attorney.”

“I want to see him.”

“Absolutely not! Kate, you’re five months pregnant. You’ve already had more than your fair share of health crises over the past few months. There’s no way in hell I would let you go to Rikers to talk to the man who tried to kill your husband. And you know damn well that Castle would never stand for it.”

“What if Esposito and I go?” Ryan offered. “Beckett can write down whatever it is that she wants us to ask him.”

“I wish, for once, that all of you would stop treating me like I’m an incompetent child!” Kate shouted at the three men. “I am more than capable of going to Rikers and talking to Flynn. And I don’t need or want your permission,” she glared at Demming.

“Will you at least allow one of us to go with you?” Esposito asked.

“I don’t care if you go or not. So long as I’m the one who does the talking.”

“Kate, we’ll do this on one condition,” Ryan looked at her closely. “You have to let Castle know. There’s no way we’re keeping this from him.”

“Fine,” she reluctantly agreed. “Tom, can you set it up?”

“I’ll set it up, although it has bad idea stamped all over it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N #3: The showdown of the century is going to take place in the next chapter. It will also conclude the LokSat portion of the story.
> 
> Follow me:
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> Facebook: Wylie.Cindy@Yahoo.com


	13. A Meeting With the Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate and the boys go to Rikers for a meeting with Flynn, which reveals surprising information.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N #1: This chapter picks up where the previous chapter ended. I want to thank one of my unmuses for my opening line. He said it would’ve been his reaction. Thank you, Marc. G!
> 
> A/N #2: I’m also giving writer’s credit to the guest reviewer who suggested the identity of the body in the trunk of Caleb Brown’s car. I don’t know your name but thank you for the suggestion.

**FULL CIRCLE**

**Chapter 12: A Meeting with The Devil**

“Oh, hell no!” Castle was as furious as Kate had ever seen him. “You are _not_ meeting with him, Kate! What are you even thinking? Do you think he’s even going to talk to you?”

“Whether he talks or not is irrelevant,” Kate tried to counterbalance Castle’s anger with calmness.

“So, you’re going to go to Rikers to . . . what? Have a staring contest with the devil?”

“Maybe.” She walked into the kitchen and got a bottle of water from the refrigerator.

“Kate, Flynn is not Hal Lockwood. He’s not even in the same league. Lockwood was an amateur compared to this guy. No. You’re _not_ going,” he turned and stomped out of the room.

Kate shook her head before taking a long swallow of water. She was sick and tired of all these men treating her like she was made of porcelain or blown glass. While it was true that she was pregnant, she wasn’t an invalid. Flynn was going to be shackled to a table. What could he possibly do? No, she knew that was wrong thinking. She’d had more than her fair share of encounters with shackled suspects. She wasn’t going to be alone. The boys were going to be with her.

She went into their bedroom. She didn’t find Castle, so her next stop was the bathroom. She found him standing at the sink, visibly shaking, he was so angry. “Castle, do you trust me?”

“That isn’t the point,” he looked at her through the reflection in the mirror.

“That’s _exactly_ the point. Do you trust me?” She repeated the question. “Better still, do you trust the boys?”

“Of course,” he finally turned around.

“Ryan and Esposito would never let anything happen to me.”

“He’s different than anything you’ve ever faced, Kate. I can’t describe him any better than that. We’ve solved over 100 murders together, and we’ve come across some sinister killers. Flynn is . . . just different.”

“Ryan brought up something when I was at the Twelfth today. Something about Flynn talking about being raised by the state. He said that the CIA did experiments on children back in the 60’s and 70’s.”

“Yeah. I researched some of them for my Derrick Storm books. You think that Flynn was the product of those experiments?”

“I don’t know. It’s possible. He might not tell us anything. But it’s something that we can work on going forward. Castle, I need the answers.”

“I know. But I don’t think you’re going to get them. Not from Flynn. The guy has ice water in his veins.”

“I know that you don’t like this.”

“No, I don’t. But I’m also smart enough to know that I’m not going to stop you. I can come—”

“No, Castle. The fewer people who go, the better. Rikers would never allow a civilian to come into an interrogation room with an inmate. I’ll text you or call you when we’re done.”

“When are you going?”

“I don’t know. Demming is going to make the arrangements. It might not be for several days.”

“Please be careful. If he starts upsetting you in any way—”

“I’ll end the interview.”

“I need to take a walk and think.”

“Okay.”

“I won’t be gone long.”

Kate knew that he needed space. She also knew that he would probably call the boys. “Rick?” She called out to him as he walked to the front door.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t drink too much,” she pressed up on her toes and kissed him softly on the mouth.

“I won’t. I’ll be back in a couple of hours. Call me if you need me. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

***CCC***

The three friends were sitting at their usual table at The Old Haunt, beers sitting in front of all three men. “You couldn’t have possibly talked her out of this?” Castle asked.

“It’s Beckett,” Ryan reminded him. “When have we ever been able to talk her out of anything?”

“Bro, we don’t like it, either. That’s why we’re going. There’s no way in hell we’d let her see Flynn alone,” Espo added.

“He isn’t going to say anything.”

“I don’t know about that,” Espo took a swallow of his beer. “The guy struck me as arrogant. I’ll bet that he’s more than willing to talk to the right person.”

“And you think my wife is that person?”

“You and Beckett took his boss down. He isn’t going to let that stand.”

“If it gets hot, you’ll get her out of there?”

“If I have to carry her out myself,” Espo promised.

***CCC***

Since Castle had left to meet the boys, Kate called her own BFF. Lanie showed up with a quart of vanilla ice cream and a container of brownies. “Sugar always makes me feel better,” she was unapologetic as the two women made brownie sundaes.

“Am I being selfish?”

“You want answers. I get it. But I also understand why Castle is angry. The guy almost killed him, Kate. He said horrible things to him about you. I get why you want to go see him. I just don’t think it’s one of your better ideas.”

“I have a hunch. I want to see if it pays off. If it doesn’t, at least I’ll know. And if it does, then maybe we’ll get an id for the body that was in Caleb Brown’s car.”

“You think Flynn’s going to tell you?”

“He’s an arrogant asshole, Lanie. I think he’s dying to tell someone.”

“Why now, Kate?”

“What do you mean?” Kate put her spoon down in her empty sundae dish.

“Why do you need to do this now? Flynn isn’t going anywhere. Why can’t you wait until after you have Lily?”

“Because I want to put this behind us now. I don’t want to wait four months. I’ll be fine,” she assured her friend.

***CCC***

It was after midnight when Castle unlocked the door and stepped into the quiet apartment. He wasn’t drunk, but he had a definite buzz from his evening with the boys. They had drunk a few beers and played darts before calling it a night. He placed his keys on the counter before walking unsteadily to the bathroom. He stripped off his clothes and stepped into the shower, allowing the water to pour over every inch of him. After finishing his shower, he stepped out of the tub and wrapped a towel around his waist before entering the bedroom. He smiled when he watched Kate sleeping, both arms wrapped around his pillow. He grabbed a pair of boxers from his drawer and slipped into them before letting the damp towel fall to the floor. Only then did he slip into bed beside his wife, who sleepily reached out for him. “What time is it?” Her words were slurred by sleep.

“Late,” he kissed the top of her head. “Go back to sleep.”

Castle was still sleeping when Kate got up the next morning. She picked Castle’s discarded towel up from the end of the bed before making her way to the bathroom.

She was in the kitchen making coffee when Castle walked in, rubbing his eyes like a small child. “Good morning,” he stepped behind her in the kitchen and wrapped both arms around her expanding waistline, kissing the side of her neck.

“I was going to bring you coffee in bed.”

“Do you want me to go back to bed?”

“Well, you’re up now,” she finished his coffee before turning and handing the cup to him. “What time did you get home last night?”

“It was about 12:30.”

“Are you still upset?”

“I don’t want to talk about that now. Have you heard from Demming?”

“Not yet. I called Lanie last night after you left. She asked me why I want to do this now.”

“What did you tell her?”

“I want to put this behind us, Castle. I know that he might not talk, but I’m not going to know unless I try.”

“I still don’t like it, but I know that I’m not going to change your mind.”

“Why don’t you go enjoy your coffee? I’ll make us breakfast.”

She was scrambling eggs when her cell phone rang. She saw Demming’s name on the caller id. “Hello?”

“Kate, I spoke to the warden at Rikers. He, in turn, called Flynn’s attorney. You and the boys can talk to Flynn tomorrow afternoon at three. I’ve already let Ryan and Esposito know.”

“Thanks, Tom,” she ended the call and looked over the counter at Castle. “Tomorrow afternoon at three.”

***CCC***

“What do you think he’s going to tell you?” Esposito asked as the three of them walked into the entrance at Rikers.”

“I told you,” she put her purse on the conveyer belt for the metal detector. “I have a hunch.”

“It would be nice if you would clue your partners in on your hunch,” Ryan stepped through the metal detector behind Kate.

“You’ll know what it is soon enough.”

After going through reception, they were taken upstairs to an interrogation room. They sat facing the door while they waited for Flynn and his attorney to arrive. The attorney walked in first. “William Stanley,” he introduced himself to the three detectives. “Why do you want to see my client?”

“I have a couple of questions,” Kate answered mysteriously.

“Do you mind if I ask what your questions are?”

“You’ll know soon enough.”

Moments later, the door opened, and a guard walked in, leading Flynn by the shackles around his wrists. After Flynn took a seat beside Mr. Stanley, the guard secured one wrist to the table and one ankle to the floor, ensuring the inmate wouldn’t be trying anything stupid.

Kate took this opportunity to size up her foe. This was the first time she had seen Flynn. He was in his mid-to-late 30’s, with dark hair and dark eyes. Kate noticed that he was also sizing her up. “You’re everything that your husband said that you were,” he broke the silence in the room.

“Why did you kill the man that detectives found in the trunk of Caleb Brown’s car?”

“How do you know that I killed him?”

“Don’t say anything else,” Stanley warned his client.

“You just told me that you did,” Kate was calm. Calmer than either Ryan or Esposito had ever seen her while interrogating a suspect. “Who was he?”

Flynn didn’t answer. He just sat back in his chair, observing Kate and the boys. “Can I ask you something?” Ryan looked at Flynn. “Were you part of the mind-control experiments that the CIA conducted years ago? Castle said that you told him that you had been raised by the state. But we can’t find you in the foster care system.”

“I never told Mr. Castle that I had been in foster care. As for the experiments, how do you know that they really happened?”

“Again, you just told us that they did. You also just told us that you were a part of those experiments. Was it your handler in the trunk of Caleb Brown’s car?”

“Don’t say another word, Flynn. This interview is over,” Stanley got up and started walking to the door. “You didn’t say that you were here to bring more charges against my client.”

“I’m not here to bring more charges. Do you see the D.A. here with us?” Kate asked. “All that I want is answers. Whoever was in the trunk of that car, his family deserves closure.”

“He had no family. And you met him.”

“I met him? When?”

“You and Mr. Castle. Several years ago. One of his colleagues brought a great deal of embarrassment to your department. He saved your lives. Now, as fascinating as this has been, I want to go back to my cell.”

Stanley knocked on the door and a guard entered to take Flynn back to his cell. “Capt. Beckett?” Flynn made the guard stop in the doorway. “We won’t be meeting again. Good luck solving my riddle.”

Kate was more frustrated than ever as the three of them walked back to the car. “Do you have any idea what he’s talking about?” Espo asked.

“No. But Castle might,” she got into the backseat and removed her cell phone from her pocket.

Castle answered on the first ring. “Kate? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Castle, listen. I need your help. I asked Flynn about the body in the trunk of Brown’s car. He said that you and I had met the victim before. He said it was several years ago and that he saved our lives. He also said something about a colleague embarrassing the department. Can you give it some thought? I’ll be home in about an hour.”

“Okay. I’ll see you soon.”

After ending the call with Kate, Castle went to retrieve his laptop from the bedroom. He brought it to the dining table and booted it up. Over the years, he had outlined fictional accounts of almost every case he and Kate had worked. Some found their way into his Nikki Heat books in one form or another. Names changed to protect the innocent, of course. He opened a new Word document and typed the three clues Kate had given him. The two key clues were embarrassing the department and the person had saved him and Kate. The files on Jerry Tyson had disappeared, which was somewhat embarrassing. But Tyson was dead. And Tyson had definitely not saved his or Kate’s lives. So that was out.

Then he remembered Sophia Turner. He and Kate had discovered too late that his former muse was a double agent. She was about to kill both of them when one of her agents had killed her, saving their lives in the process. “Danberg,” he whispered to himself before pulling out his phone and quickly texting Kate.

Kate was sitting in the backseat of Ryan and Esposito’s unmarked when she felt her phone vibrate against her hip. She pulled it out and looked at the message from Castle. “We need to run by the morgue,” Kate told the two men.

“Now?”

“Right now.” She made a phone call. Alexis answered on the first ring. “Alexis, I need for you or Hayley to see if you can get into the CIA’s database.”

“I’ll let you talk to Hayley. That’s her wheelhouse. I’m still a novice when it comes to that stuff.”

“Kate, what do you need?” Hayley’s crisp accented voice came on the line.

“I need to get records for a CIA agent named Martin Danberg. I don’t know his D.O.B. or anything more than that.”

“Got it. I’ll let you know if I find anything.”

“If you get anything, notify Lanie in the morgue. Thanks, Hayley.”

“Who is Martin Danberg?” Esposito asked.

“Do you remember that case that Castle and I worked about four years ago that we kept telling you was classified?”

“Yeah. The case where your car ended up in the Hudson?”

“Yeah, that one. Castle and I were saved by an agent by the name of Martin Danberg. I have a feeling that he was Flynn’s handler.”

“Then why did Flynn kill him?” Ryan queried.

“I don’t know. That may have to remain a mystery.”

Castle was writing on his laptop when Kate walked into the apartment an hour later. He walked over and folded her into his arms, breathing in the scent of her. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. He didn’t try anything stupid, Castle. I called Hayley and asked her to try to access the CIA’s database. We also went to the morgue and talked to Lanie. Hayley’s going to contact her if she finds anything. You’re sure that it’s Danberg?” She asked him.

“The answers to the riddle are all there. Yeah, I’m 95 percent certain. I wonder what the connection is between Flynn and Danberg, though.”

“We’re probably never going to know. I’ll be satisfied just to get an identity for the body. Flynn killed him, though.”

“He told you that?”

“No, but he didn’t have to. You’re right, Castle. He’s a strange man.”

“He’ll fit right in with the other strange men in the supermax in Colorado. He and the Uni-Bomber will probably become BFF’s.”

“They’re not allowed contact with other inmates, Castle.”

“I know. I was just being sarcastic.”

“Hey,” she locked her arms around his waist. “I was okay. There were no raised voices, no threats. We were in there 10 minutes, max. I wasn’t going to let him hurt me or Lily. Neither were the boys.”

He just tightened his arms around her, resting his chin on the top of her head. “You, Lily, and Alexis are my whole world. I spent the whole afternoon imagining worst case scenarios.”

“Oh Castle, I’m so sorry.”

“I love you,” he moved her back so he could see her face. “More than you will ever know.”

“I love you, too,” she reached down for his hand, twining her fingers in his before leading him back to their bedroom.

It was the persistent ringing of Kate’s cell phone that interrupted hers’ and Castle’s post-coital bliss two hours later. “Tell whoever it is to take a hike,” Castle mumbled into his pillow.

“It’s Demming,” Kate announced, sliding her phone to answer.

“Then he can _definitely_ take a hike.”

“Beckett,” Kate answered.

“Flynn’s dead, Kate.”

“Dead? How?” Kate sat straight up in bed.

“Who’s dead?” Castle whispered.

“The guards just found him in his cell. He chewed his wrists opened.”

“Why now? Why would he wait until now to take himself out?”

“I don’t know, Kate. But it’s over. No trial, no threat of someone escaping to come after your family. I just thought that you should know.”

“Thanks,” Kate ended the call and looked at Castle. “Flynn killed himself in his cell.”

“How? Hanging from his bedsheet?”

“He chewed through the veins on his wrists.”

“Gross, but effective. Wait! There’s your answer!”

“What are you talking about?”

“Call Lanie,” Castle excitedly urged her. “Tell her to run a familial DNA test on the blood from the body in Caleb Brown’s car and Flynn. I’m betting they’re going to be a match.”

“Castle, Danberg was not old enough to have been Flynn’s father,” Kate pointed out to her husband.

“Yeah, I know. But I’m telling you that there’s a connection.”

“Okay. I’ll call Lanie.” Kate brought up Lanie’s name in her contacts. “Hi, Lanie. It’s me.”

“If you’re calling about the mysterious Mr. Flynn, he hasn’t arrived in my morgue just yet.”

“Lanie, when you get his body, can you check his DNA against the body that was found in the burned-out car? Castle thinks they might be related.”

“Yeah, but it’ll take a while for the match to come back. This isn’t CSI, Kate. I can run a match for mitochondrial DNA.”

“Great. Thank you, Lanie.”

“You’re welcome. Get some rest. I’ll call you the second that I get something back.”

“Now we wait,” Kate ended the call and curled up beside Castle once again. “Flynn sure knows how to ruin the mood.”

“Chewed through his wrists, huh? I’ll have to remember that one.”

“That’s why he chose to talk. He had no intention of being incarcerated for the rest of his life.”

“He knew that you had figured out that he was the killer of the body in the car. He liked thinking that he was the smartest person in the room. You proved him wrong. But it’s really over now,” he rolled toward her. “We won’t have to spend the rest of our lives looking over our shoulders.”

***CCC***

Lanie called them two days later. “Kate, can you and Castle meet me at the precinct?”

“Did you find something?”

“Just meet me.”

“Lanie wants us to meet her at the precinct.”

When they arrived at the precinct half an hour later, they were surprised to find everybody involved in the investigation was already there, including Hayley and Alexis. “Hi, sweetie,” Castle hugged his daughter.

“Hi, dad.”

“I must say that pregnancy agrees with you, Kate,” Jordan Shaw complimented her.

“Thank you. Lanie, what did you find?”

“I’ll give the floor to Hayley first.”

“You were able to get into the CIA’s database so quickly?” Castle was shocked.

“Please,” Hayley scoffed at him. “Bunch of wankers. We found the information on Martin Danberg and we sent his files to Lanie.”

“I compared Danberg’s dental records to the man found in the trunk of the burned-out car. They were a match. Danberg is the victim. I then compared his DNA to Flynn’s DNA. Again, I got a match. They were siblings. But this is where things get interesting.”

“Define ‘interesting,’” Kate urged her friend.

“The mitochondrial DNA wasn’t a match. They don’t have the same mothers. However, they do share the same father.”

“Mason Wood,” Castle said as everybody looked at him.

“Exactly.”

“Is there any way to tell who their mothers might be?” Kate asked.

“Not without anything to compare it to.”

“The CIA did a lot of weird mind experiments in the 60’s and 70’s,” Will Sorensen reminded everyone. “Jordan and I talked to some people in the know and they gave us a few scenarios for what might have happened. Their best theory is that Danberg was raised in a normal, traditional setting and was possibly recruited later to join the CIA. Flynn, on the other hand, was raised by the people who ran these experiments. Somehow he learned of Danberg’s existence and killed him.”

“I don’t think so,” Kate disagreed.

“What’s your theory?”

“Castle, correct me if I get it wrong,” Kate looked at her husband. “When we arrived home that night and found Brown in our apartment, he set the wheels in motion for everything that happened from that moment on. The burner phones, the body in the car, the ambush, Mason Wood showing up with other burner phones. Everything that happened was meant to end with us in the incinerator in Wood’s basement. But Castle and I took out Wood and Flynn. So, Brown had to come up with a Plan B. Plan B was his attempted murder of me and Castle that morning. Plan C was leaving no one alive.”

“Are you saying that Elena Markov is part of all this?” Jordan appeared skeptical.

“We’re never going to know unless we find her.”

“I still believe that Elena was on our side. I think Flynn took himself out because he didn’t want to be locked up in solitary confinement for the rest of his life. The last thing that he expected was Kate confronting him,” Castle said. “When he knew that she had figured out that he killed the victim in the trunk of the car, he had no surprises left. Except for that last one.”

“So, are we all in agreement that this wraps up the investigation?” Gates asked.

“Yeah,” they all nodded.

“Then let’s get back to our regularly scheduled lives. Capt. Beckett, I’d like a moment please,” Gates added as the others began filing out of the room.

“I’ll be out in a moment,” Kate assured Castle. She waited until he had left and closed the door behind him before she faced the Deputy Chief. “Is something wrong, sir?”

“Why did you go to Rikers to see Mr. Flynn when you haven’t been cleared for active duty? I could bring you up on disciplinary charges for that.”

“I had to know, sir.”

“No more shenanigans, Captain. I’ve already warned Capt. Demmings that he is the one temporarily in charge of this unit and he is to deny any more requests from you.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Go home and get ready for your daughter.”

“Yes, sir.”

That night, Kate and Castle were laying in their bed. Kate sighed in contentment at the feel of Castle’s fingers tracing over her stomach. “How are you feeling?” He kissed her neck, smiling when he felt her wiggle against him. “The hormones are still in high-gear, huh?”

“Are you kidding? I’m horny all the time. I’m just relieved that it’s all over, Castle. Like you said, no more looking over our shoulders.”

“No baby Kevlar for Lily,” he agreed.

“Now we can just be normal expectant parents.”

“Normal sounds boring,” he complained.

“Right now, boring sounds wonderful.”

“Well, here’s to three months of boring,” he smiled when she rolled them so that she was straddling him.

“Boring, it is,” she bent down and kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N #3: Be careful what you wish for.
> 
> Follow me:
> 
> Facebook: Wylie.Cindy@Yahoo.com


	14. Girl Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate and her girlfriends enjoy an evening while Castle is out of town. Meanwhile, Kate talks to Alexis and Martha about the shooting at the loft.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Hayley and Alexis have a surprised planned for Kate and Rick.
> 
> A/N #1: I always enjoyed the interactions between Kate, Alexis, and Martha. Unfortunately, we didn’t see enough of these scenes between Kate and Alexis. 
> 
> A/N #2: There will be a slight time jump in this chapter.
> 
> A/N #3: Oh, please ignore my rather cryptic Authors’ Note at the end of the previous chapter. I changed things up in this chapter and forgot to delete that note.

**FULL CIRCLE**

**Chapter 13: Girl Time**

_October_

“How are you feeling?” Castle and Kate were talking via Skype.

“Fat. But okay. Stop worrying, Castle. You’re going to be home in three days. How is Spokane?”

“Windy. Rainy. Awful. I miss you,” he pouted.

“I miss you, too. But I will see your smiling face in _three_ days. Have fun at your book signing. But not too much fun. Refrain from signing any chests,” she teased.

“I’ll do my best. I’ll see you at the end of the week. I love you.”

“I love you, too. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

She closed the lid on her laptop after Castle signed off. She sat back on the sofa and rubbed her stomach, smiling when she felt Lily’s feet under her hands. Eight more weeks! Eight more weeks and she would finally get to hold her daughter in her arms. She couldn’t wait until she could examine every inch of Lily’s tiny body, making sure that she was unharmed. She had to know for sure that Caleb Brown’s evilness hadn’t marred their daughter.

Her phone beeped with a text message. She looked at her phone and smiled at the message from Alexis. **‘I’m wrapping things up at the P.I. office. I should be there within an hour or so. Do you want me to pick up something for dinner?’**

Kate thought for a moment before replying. **‘I can’t think of anything. I can always make something here.’**

**‘Is Gram there?’**

**‘No. She has a rehearsal tonight. She said she won’t be here until later.’**

**‘Ok. I’ll see you soon.’**

***CCC***

At the P.I. office, Alexis was paying bills while Hayley busily worked at her own laptop. “How is Kate?”

“She’s okay. She misses my dad.”

“He’s been gone for one day!”

“I know. But she’s seven months pregnant and things haven’t been easy the last several weeks. She just feels better when he’s with her.”

“Well, I hope she doesn’t have to make any trips to the ER while he’s gone.”

“Me, too.”

The last several weeks had found Kate and Rick in the emergency room on four different occasions. The scars from the shooting had become extremely troublesome, causing Kate a great deal of pain. Alexis also hoped that there would be no emergencies while her father was gone. “You know what we should do?” Hayley looked at her young colleague. “We should have a girl’s night at Kate’s. We can call Lanie and Jenny Ryan. We can eat junk food and watch chick flicks.”

“Like a baby shower?”

“No, not a baby shower. I loathe baby showers. Just something to distract Kate a bit while Rick is gone.”

“My grandmother wants to throw Kate a shower pretty soon. Do you hate baby showers that much?”

“I don’t hate the showers as much as I hate the silly games. When is the loft going to be finished?”

“Dad said that it’s finished now. He just doesn’t want to move in until after he returns from his trip.”

“Have they moved their furniture back in?”

“No.”

“Do you know when they’re planning on moving back in?”

“No. Dad just said it would be after his book tour. Probably around the middle of November. I know he said he wants them moved back in before Thanksgiving. Why?”

“Just wondering,” Hayley’s response was cryptic.

“What’re you planning?”

“Nothing. Why are you so suspicious?”

“Because I know you,” Alexis smiled.

“Well, if you must know, I was thinking that maybe it would be nice if we arranged to have all of their belongings moved back to the loft.”

“That is nice. It would be nice if my dad and Kate didn’t have to do any unpacking.”

“My point exactly. Do you have a set of keys for the storage unit?”

“Dad gave me and Kate both a set.”

“Let me have them. I’ll put my guys to work.”

“My dad gets back in three days,” Alexis reminded Hayley.

“They’ll have everything moved,” Hayley promised Alexis.

Alexis was skeptical, but she had to admit that Hayley had a way of getting things done. She removed the key from her keychain and handed it over. “Let me know if you need any help.”

“I will.”

***CCC***

Kate was relaxing on the sofa, listening to Coltrane through her Kindle when the door opened, and Alexis walked in. “Hey,” Kate smiled and turned off her music.

“Hi. Have you talked to my dad today?”

“About an hour ago. He’s miserable.”

“Did you remind him that he’ll be home in three days?” Alexis took a seat in a nearby chair.

“I did. Repeatedly.”

“Hayley and I were talking,” Alexis stared down at the floor. “If you feel up to it, we were thinking that maybe we could have a girls’ night here tomorrow night. Hayley said we could talk and watch chick flicks. If you don’t feel up to it—”

“No, Alexis. That sounds wonderful.”

“Great,” the young woman smiled brightly. “I’ll call Lanie and Jenny Ryan tomorrow.”

“How is your mom?” Kate asked, knowing that Meredith had been in almost constant contact with her daughter since the shooting the previous May.

“Mom’s fine. Lily doesn’t know how lucky she is.”

“Your mom and dad love you very much, Alexis.”

“Am I an awful daughter for being glad that my mother isn’t always around? Sometimes I think about being glad that I don’t see her that often, and then I think of you. I know that you would give anything to have your mother around. Especially right now.”

“I miss my mom,” Kate admitted. “I’m always going to miss her. I like your mother, Alexis. But I have to admit that she’s not your conventional mother. Neither is your grandmother. You’re not an awful daughter.”

“I would go to sleepovers with my friends when I was in elementary school and would find myself wishing that I had parents that were together. Then I would spend a few days with my mom and be happy that she didn’t live with my dad and me. She was exhausting,” Alexis heaved a giant sigh.

“Your dad told me all about her taking you to Paris for lunch.”

“I remember how angry he was. I heard him tell her that she was lucky that he hadn’t had her arrested and charged with kidnapping. I remember thinking about how could it be kidnapping when she was my mom. After she left, he sat me down and told me how sorry he was. I didn’t know why he was sorry. He hadn’t done anything wrong.”

“He always wanted to protect you.”

“She told my dad that she was taking me to lunch. She just neglected to tell him that it was lunch in Paris. He hadn’t even known that she had a passport for me.”

“I think at one time that they both loved each other. They just couldn’t live together.”

“Dad told me once that they were both very immature when they decided to get married. My dad said he had a feeling that it wouldn’t work. He just wanted his child to have both parents. He wanted me to have the family that he didn’t have growing up.”

“He wanted what every parent wants for their children. Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“When did Martha move in with you and your dad?”

“Dad’s never told you that story?” Alexis asked, smiling when Kate shook her head. “Gram was married to this guy. I forget what he was supposed to be. At that time, my grandmother was doing very well financially. She had a nice apartment near Central Park. Her husband ripped her off. He stole almost everything she had and went on the run.”

“Did they ever find him?”

“Yeah. About a year later, but the money was gone. She lost her apartment, all her savings, everything. I know that my dad didn’t want to let her move in with us, but he also didn’t want to see her thrown out on the streets. To this day, Gram doesn’t know how this guy managed to steal everything.”

“Con artists are good at what they do. Did you like him?”

“I didn’t know him that well. He didn’t come with Gram too often when she visited us. I remember my dad kept telling me not to get attached to him because he probably wouldn’t be around for long.”

Castle had told Kate that he had had more than his fair share of stepfathers growing up, so she could understand why he wouldn’t want his young daughter to get attached to her grandmother’s latest husband. “I remember the very first time I ever saw you,” Kate smiled.

“When I came to bail my dad out after you had arrested him for stealing evidence photos?”

“No. When I came to get him from his book launch party. I remember wondering how long it would be before you began your petty criminal career. But then I got to know you and learned that you were the grownup in the relationship.”

“Somebody had to be. But the man that you met that night wasn’t always like that.”

“I know. He used to tell me the most wonderful stories about you. One of his earliest was of the days when he would take you to the park.”

“My dad was like a big kid. He taught me to roller skate in the living room of the loft.”

“That’s why I talked him out of selling the loft. He had 20 years’ worth of memories stored in that loft. Even if your grandmother purchased it, it wouldn’t be the same.”

“Now the two of you can build new memories with Lily.”

“You’re going to be a wonderful big sister.”

“I hope so. I’ve been waiting for this moment since I was nine years old.”

Later that evening, Kate was laying on Castle’s side of the bed trying to fall asleep when her phone rang. She smiled when she answered the phone and instantly saw Castle’s smiling face come to life on the screen. “I was just thinking about you.”

“I forgot about the three-hour time difference, but I just had to talk to you. What’re you doing?”

“Laying on your side of the bed trying to sleep. I miss you.”

“I’ll be home before you know it. What did you and Alexis do today?”

“We talked about the baby and stuff. Castle, I hadn’t realized until today how much your daughter has grown up since I first met her.”

“It happens in the blink of an eye. You’ll see that when we have Lily. One second they’re dependent on you for everything and the next, they’re asking to borrow the car keys.”

“Alexis said she has wanted to be a big sister since she was nine years old.”

“I tried to talk Gina into having a kid, but she said it was hard enough dealing with me on a daily basis.”

“Yeah, you were pretty high maintenance back then,” Kate agreed.

“I’m glad you didn’t say that I still was.”

“Well, now that you think about it—”

“Hey!” He protested. “Seriously though, I’m glad that you and Alexis had a nice evening.”

“All the girls are coming over tomorrow. We’re going to order pizza and watch chick flicks.”

“You deserve a fun evening. I’m going to let you get some rest. I’ll call you tomorrow before I go to the book signing. I love you.”

“I love you, too. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

After ending her call with Castle, Kate lay back down on his pillow and tried to sleep. But her mind kept her awake with so many thoughts. The girls were all coming over the next night. While Kate was excited to spend an evening with her friends and family, she also was filled with morbid thoughts. Thoughts of the things that Mason Wood had said to Castle before leaving him for Flynn to murder.

None of them had any idea of how close they had come to being exterminated. Kate never wanted them to know. But she was also too aware that she, Alexis, and Martha had never discussed that last night before everything went to hell. Castle was always quick to end the conversation when she brought up how glad she was that Alexis hadn’t come home with them the morning of the shooting. The thought of what could’ve happened was never far from Kate’s thoughts.

When she woke up the next morning, she could smell fresh coffee. After going to the bathroom, she slipped into her robe and waddled into the living room, smiling brightly when she saw her mother-in-law in the kitchen. “Good morning, Katherine,” Martha greeted her.

“Good morning. Is Alexis still here?”

“She went to get some things from the market down the street. She should be back any time. I made coffee, or are you not drinking coffee?”

“Dr. Armstrong has generously allowed me two cups a day. But I’m trying to keep it down to one.”

“Then I will make it one very large cup,” Martha poured coffee into a large mug and placed it in front of Kate on the breakfast bar.

“Thank you,” Kate smiled, adding sugar and creamer to the cup. “Did Alexis tell you that Lanie and the other girls are coming over tonight?”

“She did. The question is, do you feel up to having a lot of people over?”

“I feel very up to it. It might be the last girls’ night I get to have for a while. I hope that you’ll join us.”

“You want me there?” Martha seemed surprised.

“Why wouldn’t I want you there?” Kate was confused.

“I just thought that you would want an evening without your meddling mother-in-law hanging around.”

“Martha, you are many, many things, but you’re not meddling.”

“Oh good, Kate, you’re up,” Alexis walked into the apartment, carrying two canvas grocery bags. “It’s finally beginning to feel like fall.”

“Your father will be upset that he’s missing the first hints of fall in New York City.” The mention of Castle made Kate’s eyes well up. She impatiently brushed the tears away before forcing a smile. “He said it’s windy and rainy in Spokane.”

“He will be home in two short days,” Martha reminded her.

“I know. I can’t believe how much I miss him.”

“Well, you won’t miss him tonight when Lanie, Jenny, and Hayley come over.”

“Oh, I’m sure that he’ll call,” Martha reminded Alexis. “You know how he loves to think he’s one of the girls.”

For some reason, instead of laughing with Martha and Alexis, Kate began to cry. Alexis looked at her grandmother in confusion. “I’m sorry. It’s hormones,” Kate apologized.

“Darling, this isn’t all hormones and missing Richard,” Martha came around the breakfast bar, slipping an arm around Kate. “After all, Richard has been on much longer book tours than this one since the two of you have gotten together. Now, what is going on?”

“Has Rick said anything to either of you about that night?”

“No,” Alexis came over and sat on the barstool beside Kate. “When any of us bring it up, he changes the subject.”

“It’s all for the best,” Martha said. “All of the main players are now dead. It’s time to move on.”

“Alexis, you asked me when I was in the hospital what would’ve happened if you had come home with us that morning,” Kate looked at the young woman sitting beside her. “I told you that I didn’t know.”

“Kate—” Martha tried to stop her.

“Martha, I have to say this,” Kate held her hand out toward Martha. “It rolls around in my head all the time. The night before, when Flynn had kidnapped your dad, he gave him truth serum.”

“I know. They mentioned it during the press conference.”

“Mason Wood asked your father everybody who had known about LokSat. Your dad said that his heart was breaking, but he couldn’t fight the truth serum.”

“Alexis and I were safe at the P.I. office,” Martha reminded Kate.

“That room wouldn’t have stopped them. And the next morning, you were at the precinct. Mason Wood or someone in his organization would’ve killed all of you. If you had come home with us that morning, Alexis, Caleb Brown would’ve killed you. Then he would’ve gone after your grandmother, and then everybody else. I’m not saying this to frighten you, Alexis. I’m saying this because you and your grandmother deserve to know.”

“Do you still think there’s more of them out there?”

“No,” Kate shook her head. “When I talked to Flynn that day, he intimated that there was no one else.”

“But you don’t know for sure?”

“Alexis, if there was anybody left, we’d all be dead now. I know that you’re probably angry at me right now and you have every right to be. I’ve done so many stupid things in the past that have endangered your dad. But it was _never_ my intent to put anybody in danger. That’s why I left last fall. I left to keep your dad safe. I left to keep all of you alive.”

“When you didn’t answer me that morning, I knew. When my dad kept changing the subject, I knew. Thank you for being honest with me, even if it was brutally honest. You’ve never sugar-coated the truth with me. And I respect that. I might not always like what you tell me, but at least you don’t treat me like a child.”

“You’ve never been a child,” Kate finally smiled. “If Lily ends up like you, I might be in trouble.”

“We’ll make sure that she remains a child. At least until she turns four or five,” Alexis smiled before reaching out and hugging Kate.

“Thanks, I think.”

***CCC***

“So, we have cheese pizza, we have sausage and mushroom pizza, and we have pepperoni pizza,” Lanie announced, placing all the pizza boxes on the counter. “Girlfriend, if you end up with heartburn, _do not_ blame me.”

“I always have heartburn, so it’s all good,” Kate helped herself to a slice of pizza and took a huge bite. “Just to warn you, Castle will probably call about 25 times tonight. He hates that he’s missing girls’ night.”

“Girl, that man is such a metrosexual,” Lanie shook her head.

“Kevin will be calling a lot, also,” Jenny Ryan added. “I left him in charge of the kids. The last time I did that, Sarah Grace refused to go to bed.”

“Are you kidding? She’s a toddler. Ryan’s a homicide detective,” Kate reminded her friend.

“Oh, you have so much to learn,” Jenny smiled, shaking her head sadly. “Many a grown man has been defeated by a toddler. Ask your dad or Castle if you don’t believe me.”

“I understand that your kitchen has been put back together,” Hayley changed the subject.

“Yes,” Kate smiled. “And I can’t wait to see it.”

Hayley and Alexis exchanged a look that caught Lanie’s attention. “What are you two up to?”

“We’re not ‘up to’ anything. Are you picking Castle up at the airport?”

“I was planning to. Why?” Kate took another bite of pizza.

“Why don’t I go to pick him up?” Alexis offered. “The three of us can have an early dinner before coming back here.”

“Yeah, I like that idea,” Kate was agreeable. “It’s getting harder and harder to get behind the steering wheel. I feel like I’m squashing my daughter.”

“Great,” Alexis was extremely cheerful. “I’ll pick you up here Friday afternoon and then we’ll go to the airport.”

Lanie waited for Kate to go to the bathroom before approaching Hayley. “What are you two up to?” She repeated her earlier question.

Alexis looked toward the bathroom before turning to Lanie. “Hayley’s mover friends have moved all the stuff back into the loft,” she whispered, but loud enough so that Jenny and Martha could also hear her. “We want to take my dad and Kate to the loft. Can you get the word out to Espo?”

“Yes. This is going to be great!”

“Shhh,” Hayley warned. “Not a word to Kate or Rick.”

“How are you going to get them there?”

“She’s coming back,” Jenny waved for Alexis to stop talking.

“I’ll text you.”

“What did I miss?” Kate walked back into the living room and sat down on the corner of the sofa.

“How many more weeks?” Jenny asked, watching Kate rubbing her stomach.

“Eight. Her due date is December 15.”

“I loved it when I could start thinking of the baby’s arrival in weeks instead of months. It’s even better when you can count down to days.”

“Does it feel weird having a small human being stuffed inside of you?” Hayley asked, causing the others to laugh.

“Yeah, it’s not always comfortable. Lily thinks my internal organs are some kind of a springboard. Especially my bladder.”

“It’s one of the weirdest and most exciting things ever,” Jenny told the group. “I remember when Lanie put Sarah Grace in my arms for the first time, I didn’t think my heart could get any fuller.”

“You were there when Jenny’s baby was born?” Hayley looked at Lanie.

“She helped deliver her,” Jenny smiled at Lanie. “Kevin was sort of indisposed.”

“That’s an understatement,” Kate’s memories of that night were still vivid, even two years later. “Just so all of you know, I’m keeping Castle away from burning buildings during my last couple of weeks.”

As if on cue, Jenny’s cell phone rang. “I thought that he’d call before now,” she smiled before answering her phone. “Hello? She won’t what? Kevin, we’ve talked about this. Put Sarah Grace on the phone. Sarah Grace, it’s time for bed. Daddy said he has read you two stories. Where’s Nicky? If he’s asleep, then you need to go to sleep. No ice cream. It’s bedtime. I will tuck you in when I get home. Now mind daddy and get in bed. And Sarah Grace? Stay there. I love you, baby girl. I’ll see you in the morning. Let me talk to daddy. Hi, sweetie. Do you have things under control now? I should be home in a couple of hours. Bye.” She ended the call before smiling at Kate. “Kevin can’t tell her no. He’s a total pushover when it comes to his daughter. Which leaves me having to be the bad guy.”

It was almost 11 when Kate climbed into bed. She got as settled as was possible before she called Castle. “Hey,” his smiling face soon filled her screen. “How was girls’ night?”

“It was fun. I ate a little too much pizza,” she grimaced. “Can I ask you something?”

“You can ask me anything. You know that.”

“Am I going to have to play bad cop when I have Lily? Jenny said that she has to play the bad guy with Sarah Grace because Kevin is a pushover. Castle, I don’t want to be the bad guy. I want our daughter to come to me when she needs someone to talk to.”

“I admit that I spoiled Alexis a lot when she was small. But she seemed to turn out okay in spite of it. I’ve referred to myself as the cool dad, but I can come down on our kids if it comes to that.”

“Kid, Castle. Singular. Let’s have this one first and see if I can get her through her toddler years without needing years of therapy before we talk about another one. Okay?”

“Okay,” he smiled. “Less than 48 hours, Beckett, and I’ll be home.”

“I miss you,” she smiled. “I want you.”

“We’ll make up for lost time when I get home. Get some sleep.”

***CCC***

Kate got into Alexis’ car Friday afternoon, anxious to see Castle again. She glanced over at Alexis, who was busily texting. “Is everything all right?” Kate asked after buckling her seatbelt.

“Yeah, Hayley was asking me a question about one of our cases. Let’s go get dad.”

“Yes, let’s,” Kate agreed.

After parking in short term parking, the two women made their way to the baggage claim area to wait for Castle. His flight was on time and Kate knew he should be landing shortly. “Do you need to sit?” Alexis asked.

“I’m too nervous to sit. Am I crazy to be missing him this much after only four days?”

“No,” Alexis shook her head. “I think it’s cute. I hope to meet someone that I can miss that badly after only a few days apart.”

“You will.”

“Lily is so lucky.”

“Yes, she is,” Kate slipped her arm around Alexis. “Not because she has great parents. But because she’s also going to have a big sister who’s going to be a great inspiration for her.”

“You really think so?”

“Yes, I really think so. You’re smart, you’re talented. I’m glad that your father and I are able to make you a big sister.”

“Thanks, Kate,” Alexis hugged Kate, her eyes fixed on the escalator. She smiled when she saw her father descending. “Don’t look now, but I see my dad.”

Kate turned and her face broke into a broad smile when she saw Castle striding toward them. “This is a nice surprise,” he walked up to them, his arms wrapping around Kate before reaching for Alexis, as well.

“Alexis and I thought that the three of us could have an early dinner before going back to the apartment.”

“I’d love that,” his lips came down on Kate’s in a warm kiss.

“I’ll grab your bag,” Alexis offered, shaking her head when she realized that her dad and Kate were oblivious to everything and everyone around them.

“How’s Lily?” Castle’s hand came down to rest on top of his daughter.

“She’s good.”

“No pain while I was gone?” His face showed his concern.

“Nothing that I couldn’t handle. I can’t wait to get you home and naked,” she whispered in his ear.

“Me, either.”

When they got to Alexis’ car, Castle tried to take the keys from his daughter, who expertly avoided his reach. “My car. I’ll drive,” Alexis got behind the wheel as both Kate and Castle got into the back seat.

After paying the toll at the exit gate, Alexis drove toward the loft. Castle noticed where she was heading and looked at Kate. “Where are we going for dinner?” Castle asked.

“Uh, we hadn’t decided. I have to make a stop first.”

“At the loft?”

“Uh, yeah. Jake texted me earlier with some questions. I didn’t understand what he was talking about, so he told me to drop by.”

“Jake was sending all inquiries to me.”  
  


“He said your phone must’ve been off.”

“I thought the kitchen was finished,” Kate pointed out.

“I thought that it was, too,” Alexis drove into the garage and parked in Castle’s slot before cutting off the engine. She noticed that her dad was checking his cell phone. “Dad, it’s probably nothing serious. Come on.”

“I do want to see how the new kitchen looks, Castle,” Kate looked at her husband.

“Okay. Let’s go see what’s going on.”

The three of them got in the elevator and got off on the top floor. Alexis took a deep breath before putting her key in the lock and turning it. She had dropped Hayley off earlier with Kate’s key, hoping that she wouldn’t notice the missing key.

Slowly opening the door, Alexis stepped inside in front of her dad and Kate, who were instantly greeted with a chorus of “Surprise!”

Everybody was there. The boys, Martha, Lanie, Jenny, Hayley, Vikram, Deputy Chief Gates. Even Perlmutter, who hated every living person. “When? How? What the hell?” Castle was speechless as he looked around the living room. All their furniture was back in its original place. “You moved everything back in?” Castle looked at Hayley.

“Everything from the storage unit is back in its place.”

“Thank you,” Castle walked over and hugged Hayley.

Kate was in the kitchen, looking at the new appliances and the new cabinets. Everything was brand new. There was no evidence that anything horrible had ever happened in this room five months before. “What do you think?” Alexis walked in and stood beside her.

“It’s beautiful. I can’t wait to move back in.”

Castle walked into the kitchen and the two of them explored every inch of the refurbished room. Jake Reece hadn’t changed that much about the room, except for the new cabinets and the new flooring. The appliances were new, but they were all in their original places. But the look of the room was bright and cheerful. “It’s beautiful, Castle.”

“Yeah, it is,” he kissed her softly. “I think it’s time to come home, Kate.”

“Yeah, it is,” she leaned into him, feeling his arm come around and hold her securely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N #3: One more chapter and then an epilogue.
> 
> Follow me:
> 
> Facebook: Wylie.Cindy@Yahoo.com


	15. Christmas Bells and A Visit From the Stork

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate and Rick enjoy the Christmas season complete with a party, an appearance by Alex Conrad, and ending with the arrival of Lily Johanna Castle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N #1: This is the final chapter, although there will be an epilogue. I have another story in the works, but it isn’t finished, yet. I will start posting when it is complete. 
> 
> A/N #2: KJ, I had to include your broken nose story. It was to good not to use.

**FULL CIRCLE**

**CHAPTER 14: Christmas Bells and a Visit from the Stork**

_December 12_

“Three more days,” Alexis and Kate were putting the finishing touches on Lily’s nursery.

“If she comes on time,” Kate pointed out. “When I was at the doctor yesterday, she said I’m not dilated. Everybody has told me that first babies are notoriously late.”

“Well, when she does finally decide to arrive, her room is perfect,” Alexis smiled as they stood back to survey their work.

The walls were painted a pale lavender with butterflies dotting every surface, courtesy of Alexis and Jenny Ryan. Her crib, changing table, and chest of drawers were all a bright, clean white. There was a twin bed in the room opposite the crib. Castle had suggested to Kate that having the spare bed was for the nights when the baby was sick so one of them could stay in the room with her. They had both agreed that they didn’t want her in their bed. The bed was covered in an antique quilt that Alexis had found at a craft show. The giant teddy bear that Jim Beckett had bought stood sentry in one corner of the room.

“Are you going with us tonight?”

“To get the tree?” Kate asked as Alexis nodded eagerly. “Alexis—”

“Please?”

Since the impending arrival of Lily, Kate and Alexis’ relationship had become much closer. “If you can keep your dad from marching through miles of Christmas trees, I’ll go.”

“I’ll keep him reined in. I promise.”

“Yeah, good luck with that. I’ve seen him at the tree stand. He’s like a little kid in a giant candy store.”

“Come on,” Alexis pulled on Kate’s hand. “I’ll make us lunch.”

The two of them walked back downstairs and Kate took a seat at the breakfast bar while Alexis went into the kitchen to make them some lunch. “I saw the invitation for Black Pawn’s Christmas party,” Alexis took some items from the refrigerator. “Are you and dad going to go?”

“Alexis, I’m huge,” Kate complained. “I don’t have anything to wear to a party.”

“The party is next Friday. We can go shopping to find you something. You know how much dad loves showing you off. Especially to Alex Conrad,” Alexis grinned.

“Why do you think I should go? Besides to rub it in Alex Conrad’s face that I belong to your dad?”

“Because it’ll be your last chance to go out as a couple before Lily gets here. Besides, you and dad look great together when you’re dressed to the nines. I bet we can find you something breathtaking to wear.”

“Yeah, at the shop of Omar the Tentmaker.”

“Would you stop? Everybody says that you look beautiful.”

“Everybody?”

“Yes, everybody.”

“I have to admit that my hair has never looked better,” Kate caught her reflection in the toaster on the counter. Her hair was longer than it had been in years, and incredibly thick and shiny.

“Not just your hair,” Alexis placed a bowl of chicken salad and some French bread on the counter before walking around to take a seat beside Kate. “You should definitely go to the party.”

“I will think about it. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Besides, maybe Alex Conrad won’t even be there.”

“He’ll be there. He has a new book coming out after the first of the year,” Alexis slathered chicken salad on a chunk of French bread and took a bite. “I also read that he just got engaged.”

“Really?” Alexis nodded. “To a model?”

“No. I think she’s a reporter.”

“Good. So, she won’t weigh 98 pounds soaking wet.”

“Would you stop already?” Alexis scolded her. “You’re not fat.”

“Remind me of that tonight when I’m trying to put my boots on to go out with you and your dad. Thank you for making lunch.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Maybe once Lily gets here; I can get over my fear of the kitchen.”

Since moving back into the loft, both Kate and Castle had gone into the kitchen only when necessary. The rest of the loft was no problem. Castle had had a state-of-the-art security system installed complete with motion detectors and a video camera in the corridor. But the kitchen was still presenting a problem. “It’ll get better,” Alexis assured her.

***CCC***

“Richard?” Gina called out to him as he was slipping into his coat following their meeting. “You are attending the Christmas party next Friday night?”

“I’ll have to see how Kate is feeling. The baby is due any day now.”

“Well, I hope to see the two of you there. Danielle mentioned that she hadn’t received an RSVP from you, so I thought I would check up to see if you were attending.”

“Like I just said, Gina, it’s going to depend on my wife. Speaking of which, I need to go,” he rushed out the door of the publishing house before his second ex-wife could stop him.

It was bitterly cold, but luckily, there was no snow. He got behind the wheel of his car and started the engine. He then pressed the button for his Bluetooth. “Call Kate,” he instructed the device, smiling when he heard Kate’s phone ringing.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Baby Mama.”

“I really wish you would stop calling me that.”

“Sorry. I am calling to let you know that I will be home in about 20 minutes. Do you need anything before I get there?”

“No. I think we’re good.”

“Okay. I’ll see you in a bit.”

She ended the call and looked at Alexis. “Maybe I should start referring to him as my Baby Daddy to see how he likes it.”

“He’s just excited. Gram said he was the same way when mom was getting ready to have me. Although I think mom ruined it in the end for him.”

“How so?” Kate was curious.

“Mom elected to have me by cesarean, and she didn’t want him in the OR with her. Dad said I was almost an hour old when he got to hold me for the first time.”

“Well, I want him there for everything. I’m sorry that your mom did that to him and to you.”

“To me?”

“Yeah, to you. You should’ve been able to bond with your dad instantly. Just like the dads on those YouTube videos that your dad insists that we watch.”

“I never thought of it that way. But I ended up being the lucky one in the end. When they divorced, I got him all to myself. Believe me, I had plenty of bonding time with my dad.”

“What was he like when you were young?”

“The same as he was when you first met him, only with daily visits to the park thrown in. I’m surprised sometimes that I didn’t turn out to be a spoiled brat. Well, I was on occasion, but not all the time.”

“I take it the Stanford rejection comes to mind?”

“I had just never been told no about anything I’d really wanted before. It was hard to accept.”

The door opened and Castle walked in, closing the door and keying in the alarm code. After hanging his coat, he walked over and kissed Kate. “It is cold out there. What have you ladies been up to in my absence?”

“We finished Lily’s room,” Alexis announced.

“That’s great! Gina was asking me about the Christmas party next week. She wants our RSVP.”

“You want to go, don’t you?”

“Well, I love Christmas parties,” he smiled. “But I also understand if you don’t feel like going. I won’t go without you.”

“Alexis has offered to go shopping with me for a dress,” Kate smiled. “Go ahead and let Gina know that we will make an appearance.”

“Thank you!” He kissed her again. “Are you going with us tonight?”

“I told Alexis that I will come with you. On one condition, Rick,” she gave him a stern look. “No walking through miles of forest to find the perfect tree. I don’t feel like trudging behind you in 30-degree weather.”

“Okay. Now, can I go look at Lily’s nursery?”

“Yes, you may.”

_December 19_

“How are the two of you feeling?” Dr. Armstrong asked.

“Well, right now I’m glad that I’m not an elephant or a blue whale. Or a giraffe,” Kate quickly added.

“You’re ready for this pregnancy to be over, in other words,” Dr. Armstrong laughed.

“Yes, very ready. Don’t get me wrong. I love being pregnant. I just don’t love this part. No one told me that I would need my husband’s assistance to put my shoes on sometimes. I’m four days overdue. Should I be worried?”

“No. Most first babies are late. If you don’t go into labor in the next several days, I’ll schedule an induction. How have the scars been?”

“They hurt. But they always hurt. I’ve gotten used to it. Did I tell you that Castle tried to make me freeze to death?”

“What happened?”

“He insisted that I go with him and Alexis to look for a Christmas tree. It was 30 degrees outside. When we got home, he mentioned how excited he was to take Lily next year. Tonight, we have the annual Black Pawn Christmas party. Do you think I could possibly go into labor between now and eight o’clock tonight?”

“Anything’s possible. Personally, I think the party is a good idea. It could be your last outing as a couple before baby makes three.”

“I think we have baby-sitters booked for the next five years. Everybody wants their turn at taking care of Lily.”

“Well, you’re looking wonderful. If you don’t go into labor between now and next week, I will see you on the 26th.”

“You’re working the day after Christmas?”

“Kate, I will probably be working _on_ Christmas. Enjoy your party tonight.”

Castle was in the waiting area leafing through a magazine when Kate came out from the back. “What did she say?” He asked, getting to his feet and helping Kate into her coat.

“It’s still a waiting game. She said if I don’t go into labor between now and next week, she’ll see me on the 26th. I want to have her already, Castle,” she whined when they left the office.

“I know,” he held her as close to him as her pregnant belly would allow. “I want her here already, too. I want to hold her.”

“Me, too. Come on, let’s go home.”

That night, standing in front of the bathroom mirror, Kate carefully applied her makeup. She audibly groaned when Lily stretched out a small hand. “Lily, please don’t play ‘Alien’ tonight.” She rubbed the small protrusion, breathing a sigh of relief when Lily retracted her hand.

“Your dress is beautiful,” Castle called from the bedroom. “Where did you get it?”

“A boutique in Soho. A friend of Alexis’ told her about it. Your daughter is a genius when it comes to couture.”

“She inherited that from her mother. One of the few good things I can credit Meredith with. If my mother had taught Alexis how to dress, my daughter would be wearing animal prints.”

Kate emerged from the bathroom in her robe. She took the dress from the hanger and carefully slipped it over her head, slowly tugging it over her torso. “I need you to zip me up, Castle,” she said after she had smoothed down the front of the dress. “Lily was pulling her ‘Alien’ routine in the bathroom just now.”

“Did she shove her hand or her foot out?”

“Her hand. Sometimes I think she’s trying to claw her way out.”

“It’s probably a tight squeeze in there,” Castle said, carefully pulling up the zipper before kissing his wife on the neck, feeling her shiver against him. “Where are your shoes?”

“In the closet. The silver ballet flats.”

Castle found the shoes and brought them over to Kate. She then sat on the bed so he could help her slip into them. “We won’t stay long. I know that you’re doing this to humor me, and I appreciate it.”

“I’m not doing this to ‘humor you,’ Castle. This will probably be the last time that I can dress up and be pretty for you before Lily gets here. Am I miserable? Yes. But I’m also looking forward to being on your arm.”

“Have I mentioned lately how much I love you?”

“Yes. But I never get tired of hearing it,” she grinned.

“I love you,” he stood up and kissed her.

“I love you, too. By the way, you look very handsome tonight.”

“Thank you.” Castle was wearing a burgundy shirt and a white tie. “We almost match.”

“Almost.”

Kate’s dress was a rich red with long sleeves and a flowing skirt. “Come on, we don’t want to be late.”

The party was being held on the top floor of Black Pawn Publishing. Kate and Castle walked into the room and gave their coats to someone to hang up in a nearby large closet. “Richard!” Gina instantly spotted them and came rushing over. “I’m so glad that you could make it! Kate, you look—”

“Huge?” Kate tried to assist Castle’s ex-wife with words.

“No, not at all. You look beautiful. When are you due?”

“Four days ago,” Kate answered, smiling up at Castle.

“Oh,” Gina was desperately groping for something to say that didn’t sound grossly inappropriate. “Well, I hope you don’t go into labor in the middle of the party.”

“On that note, I think I’ll see about getting us some food,” Castle quickly pulled Kate away before Gina could open her mouth and speak again. “You know, if you go into labor, that would be the most exciting thing to happen at this party.”

“I’ll see if Lily will cooperate,” she whispered.

“Rick! Kate!” Alex Conrad saw them and quickly walked over with a tall brunette on his arm. “I’d like for you to meet my fiancé, Darien Walker. Darien, I’d like you to meet my mentor, Richard Castle, and his wife, Capt. Kate Beckett of the NYPD.”

“It’s lovely to meet you. Alex has told me all about you.”

“Congratulations on your engagement,” Castle shook Alex’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Darien. Kate and I are going to mingle.”

“And eat,” Kate added.

“Yes and eat.”

“We’ll catch up later.”

“We will,” Castle guided Kate to the buffet table. “She’s tall,” he whispered to Kate.

“Be nice,” she slapped at him. “You got the girl. Remember?”

“Yeah, I did,” he grinned, his lips meeting hers, quickly breaking apart when Kate gasped. “Lily?”

“Yeah. She just kicked really hard. She’s probably jealous of us kissing.”

“Or of Alex Conrad.”

“Would you stop?”

Castle fixed them plates and then led them over to some small tables. “Stay here and hold our table. I’ll get us something to drink.”

Kate had just picked up her fork and began eating when Gina suddenly materialized in Rick’s chair. “I’m sorry,” she quickly apologized. “I just never know what to say to pregnant women.”

“It’s okay. I was in your shoes once.”

“Rick wanted us to have a baby when we were together, but I was such a driven career woman. I never imagined myself with babies hanging on either side of me.”

“That was also me once.”

“Congratulations. I mean that. Castle was many things when we were married, but I will never deny that he is a wonderful father to Alexis.”

“He’s very excited. So is Alexis.”

“I know. We talk occasionally. About school and boys.”

“Gina?” Castle walked back over with a glass of white wine for himself and a glass of sparkling cider for Kate.

“I was just apologizing to Kate,” Gina got up. “Enjoy the party.”

“Okay, what did she really say?” He asked, sitting next to Kate.

“Just what she said. She was apologizing. She said that you wanted to have a baby when the two of you were married.”

“Well, I think Alexis wanted it more than I did. But I wasn’t averse to the idea. But Gina would’ve been one of those moms who would’ve had nannies raising our child. I didn’t like that idea with Alexis, and I didn’t like it for any future children.”

Kate was about to say something further when she felt another savage kick from her daughter. “Wow,” she sucked in a deep breath. “She hasn’t moved much for weeks, and she’s decided to resume kicking the hell out of me tonight.”

“Are you okay?”

“Honestly, I’m not sure.”

“Do you think you might be in labor?”

“Castle, I don’t know. I don’t know what labor is even supposed to feel like. Do you remember when Meredith was in labor?”

“No, because Meredith had a scheduled c-section. She didn’t want to be in pain. If you want to go to the hospital, just say the word. How bad is the pain?”

“It’s not as bad as being shot in the chest.”

“Let’s just sit here and relax. If you have more pains, we’ll head to the hospital.”

Nothing further happened while they were eating, so Kate forced herself to relax. After they finished eating, she went in search of the ladies’ room while Castle worked his way through the room, chatting with other authors. “I meant to congratulate you on both your marriage and the baby,” Alex Conrad caught up with him.

“Thank you. When are you and Darien getting married?”

“Next summer in Connecticut. Her parents have a home there.”

Castle caught Kate’s eye when she emerged from the ladies’ room. “Excuse me,” he quickly made his way over to Kate. “Are you okay?”

“Castle, I think we need to go to the hospital.”

“Okay,” he sounded much calmer than he felt. “I’ll get our coats.”

“You’re not leaving me alone.”

“Okay, _we’ll_ get our coats.”

_An hour later_

“What do you mean I’m not in labor?” Kate shouted at the young intern that had just finished examining her.

“Exactly what I said. The pains you’re experiencing are just very strong Braxton-Hicks contractions. You’re two centimeters dilated, but you’re not effaced.”

“But two centimeters dilated is a good thing, right?”

“Well, it means you’re getting close. But it isn’t going to happen tonight. You can get dressed while I speak to your husband.”

“When you finish talking to him, can you send him in here? I need his help getting dressed.”

Castle was anxiously pacing in front of the door when Doogie Howser, M.D. stepped out. The kid looked to be younger than Alexis. “Mr. Castle? It’s a false alarm.”

“Are you sure? Because Kate was in a lot of pain coming over here.”

“Her past injuries are the main cause of her pain along with some strong Braxton-Hicks contractions, but she’s not in labor. She did say she would need your help getting dressed, so you can go in there. I’ll go start her discharge orders.”

When he walked into the room, he was about to make a joke about Kate’s young doctor when she burst into tears. “Hey,” he walked over and pulled her close. “It’s okay. Meredith and I made three trips to the hospital in the weeks before she had Alexis. Lily’s going to come before you know it.”

“I’m so tired, Castle. I’m tired of not sleeping, I’m tired of heartburn that keeps me up all night, I’m tired of the scars pulling. I’m just tired!”

“I know. Hopefully, it won’t be much longer.”

“I’m tired of not being able to dress myself,” she sniffled.

“Then it’s a good thing that I’m here, isn’t it?”

When they walked into the loft, Kate stopped as always to admire the Christmas village that their living room had become. “Next Christmas, we’ll have a baby to share all of this with,” he breathed into her hair.

“How do you baby-proof a Christmas tree?” Kate envisioned their one-year-old destroying this very room.

“You learn to say the word ‘no,’ a lot. Sit and I’ll make you some hot chocolate.”

“Was Alexis bad?”

“Her first Christmas, she was two months old. However, the next Christmas she was Typhoon Alexis. She set out to destroy everything in her path. I didn’t get any writing done until after the tree came down because I spent her every waking moment keeping her distracted and away from the tree.”

“It’s funny how I dread that and yet look forward to it all at the same time.”

After making hot chocolate for both of them, he came over and sat beside her on the couch. “Do you want to watch more birthing videos?”

“No.”

“Do you want to watch ‘Aliens’ or ‘Jurassic Park?’”

“Hell no.”

“Do you want to just sit here and enjoy the Christmas tree?”

“Yeah,” she rested her head on his shoulder.

_December 22_

Kate wasn’t sure what had awakened her. Something felt different. She felt for her cell phone and looked at the time. It was almost six o’clock. She curled up closer to Castle, smiling when she felt his arms wrap around her as much as they were able. She was exactly a week late. Dr. Armstrong had assured her that there was nothing to worry about. Jenny Ryan had told her that Sarah Grace had been born after her due date. There was nothing to worry about.

Kate had a different theory. Kate had decided that Lily liked taking up residence in her body, shifting her organs around to make more room for her growing body. Kate was convinced that Lily was going to weigh close to 20 pounds by the time she was ready to come out. She wasn’t giving birth to a baby, anymore. She was giving birth to a Thanksgiving turkey.

Her thoughts were interrupted by everything tightening. ‘Great,’ she thought. ‘Just what I need. Braxton-Hicks contractions at six in the morning.’

“Are you okay?” Castle’s voice was gravelly with sleep.

“Yeah. Braxton-Hicks. It’s always Braxton-Hicks.”

“Are you sure?” He quickly sat up and switched on the lamp. “I mean, you are a week late.”

“Thanks for reminding me. She’s never coming out, Castle. I’m sure of it.”

“She’s going to come out,” he smiled. “Maybe we should time the pains.”

“Yeah, I guess. But I don’t see the point.”

“I’m going to make coffee. If you have another pain, note the time and how long it lasts,” he turned on the stopwatch app on her phone.

By eight a.m., they were both sure that this was indeed the real thing. Kate placed a call to Dr. Armstrong. “How far apart are the pains?”

“Right now, about 12 minutes apart. They’re not lasting very long. Maybe 15 or 20 seconds.”

“Okay. Just relax and take it easy. You don’t need to head to the hospital unless your water breaks, or the pains are five minutes apart. And Kate?”

“Yes?”

“Don’t eat anything heavy.”

“Okay.”  
  


“I’ll see you and Rick in a few hours.”

By-midafternoon Kate was miserable. She had been shot three times, but nothing could’ve prepared her for the feeling of a small human trying to force their way out of her body. “I want drugs, Castle. Lots and lots of drugs,” she moaned through another pain.

“I thought that we agreed—”

“Drugs, Castle,” she glared at him. “Morphine, Percocet, Vicodin. Illegal stuff.”

“Yeah, I’ll get right on that.”

“Next time, if there is a next time, you’re doing this.”

“Duly noted.”

Castle was glad that it was just the two of them for the time being. He had sent Alexis to the P.I. office, promising to call her the minute they left for the hospital. His mother had wanted to come to the loft, but Castle had begged her not to. She had promised to drop by once her afternoon classes had finished. Castle wasn’t sure Kate could handle his mother right now. He wasn’t sure that _he_ could handle his mother right now. “Distract me, Castle. Tell me about Alexis.”

“When they handed Alexis to me for the first time, I was scared by how little she was. I knew that babies were little, but she was like holding air. She was so quiet,” he smiled at the memory. “I remember just staring at her and she was staring back at me. I couldn’t believe that Meredith and I had made this little person. I promised her that she would always have two parents that loved her, no matter what.”

“I told Alexis that when I saw her for the first time at your book launch party, I wondered when she’d start her career of petty crime. Especially after I read your file.”

“I still don’t see how Meredith and I created this person who is so mature beyond her years.”

“Alexis promised me that we’ll allow Lily to be a child. Until she’s four or five, anyway,” Kate took a breath and motioned for Castle to start the stopwatch.

As if on cue, the door opened, and Alexis rushed in. “I couldn’t stay at work one more minute. Kate, how are you feeling?”

“Tired.”

“It’s cold outside. I think it might snow later.”

“I need more distraction,” Kate motioned at Castle.

“Uh, uh---”

“Seriously, Castle? When we first met, I couldn’t get you to stop talking. Now that I want you to talk, you don’t have anything to say?”

“When I was six,” Alexis began, looking at her father, “my friends Paige and Taylor were here for a sleepover. Dad was playing tag with us—”

“Alexis, stop! Don’t finish telling that story! It was embarrassing!”

Kate smiled before focusing her attention back on Alexis. “Ignore him, Alexis. Please continue.”

“We were playing tag and dad was trying to tag me. Only he overshot and ran past me straight into the wall. He broke his nose. There was blood everywhere. I had to call Gram because dad needed to go to the emergency room.”

“You ran into the wall?”

“Yeah. It was cool afterward because I looked like I’d been in a prizefight. I had to have surgery a few years later because I couldn’t breathe through my nose, especially at night.”

“This is what Lily has to look forward to?” She motioned at Castle to start the stopwatch.

“Not just tag. Hey, Kate?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re at the five-minute mark.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Alexis—”

“I’ll get your bag.”

_11:47 p.m._

“When my contractions were five minutes apart, I thought that I’d come up here and have her within an hour, maybe two. It’s been seven hours. Where is she?”

“She’ll get here, Kate,” Dr. Armstrong assured her.

“Castle?”

“Yeah?”

“We’re never having sex again.”

“You’ll change your mind,” he looked at the doctor.

“I won’t.”

“You will. I’m going to go update everybody.”

“Update them on what? Nothing’s changed, Castle!”

Dr. Armstrong smiled after Castle quickly fled the room. “Kate, believe it or not, you’re on track. Lily is tolerating the labor well. Hopefully it won’t be too much longer.”

Castle took a breath upon leaving the room. He didn’t know how to comfort Kate. He knew that she was anxious and scared, but so was he. He walked down the hall to where their family had gathered to wait for Lily’s arrival. “Richard, how’s Katherine?” Martha asked.

“She’s doing okay. She’s more than ready for Lily to get here.”

“Do you have any idea how much longer?”

“No.”

“Can I go in to sit with her? It’ll give you a chance to get some coffee.”

“Yeah, she’d probably enjoy your company.”

Dr. Armstrong was exiting Kate’s room when Martha approached. “Doctor, is it all right if I go in and sit with Kate?”

“Yes. She’s anxious. Having someone with her who’s been through it would probably be a comfort to her right now.”

“Thank you.”

Kate looked over at the door to see who was coming in. “Hi, Martha.”

“Hi, kiddo,” Martha walked over and sat down. “Did Alexis French braid your hair?”

“Yeah. Right before we got here. I didn’t know it was going to take this long. I’ve walked, I’ve rolled around on my exercise ball. She doesn’t want to leave. Did it take a long time when you had Rick?”

“Honestly, I don’t remember most of it. I had pains and I went to the hospital. They gave me something and then it seemed like minutes later they were shouting at me, telling me that I had a healthy son. The rest is a blur. Believe me, Lily wants to see you as much as you want to see her.”

“You’re anxious, too?”

“Oh darling, I love being a grandma. I didn’t think I’d get the opportunity a second time. I’m very anxious to meet my new granddaughter.”

_December 23, 1 a.m._

Kate was never in her life so happy to hear that she could finally push. But no one had warned her about how much pushing was going to aggravate the scars from the shooting. She was screaming from the agony of the scars pulling and the feel of Lily slowly making her way out into the world. “I can’t do this, Castle. It hurts too damn much!”

“You can do this,” he whispered against her neck. “This is the culmination of everything that has happened to us since last May. This is a fuck you to the doctors who told you that you or Lily would die. Once she’s here, I’m going to invite every one of them to come in here so you can thumb your nose at them. You are extraordinary. I’ve never seen you back down from a challenge. Don’t start doing it now.”

“Come on, Kate. Let’s do this,” Dr. Armstrong looked up from her position at the end of the bed, causing Kate to suddenly burst into hysterical laughter. “What’s so funny?”

“Bill Cosby was right. You look like Johnny Bench.”

“I don’t get it, but okay. Deep breath, and push!”

It was another 45 minutes of hard pushing before Castle finally saw Lily’s head slowly emerging. “I see hair,” he whispered against her neck. “She’s almost here.”

Kate thought that she was going to rip apart when Lily’s head finally delivered, her angry squalls filling the room. “She’s pissed off at us.”

“A few more pushes, Kate, and you can finally hold her.”

Kate felt Lily’s shoulders emerge, and then it felt like the rest of her just slid out of her. “Is she okay?” Tears were blurring Kate’s vision as she tried to look toward the end of the bed.

“She looks perfect,” Castle kissed Kate’s cheek as Dr. Armstrong held up their wet, slippery baby girl for both parents to see. The doctor smiled as Kate reached out for Lily. With Castle’s assistance, Kate managed to bring the baby up to her chest, still attached to the umbilical cord. “You did it. Hello, Lily.”

Once she was placed on her mother’s chest, Lily got quiet, her unfocused baby eyes trying to take in her surroundings. “Oh my god, you’re beautiful,” Kate kissed the top of her head, breathing in the scent of her newborn daughter.

“Daddy?” Dr. Armstrong held the hemostat out toward Castle.

Castle blinked back tears as he cut Lily’s cord, severing the connection between Kate and their daughter.

“Kate, we need to get her cleaned up, then you can have her back.”

“She’s okay, right?” Kate anxiously watched Dr. Armstrong hand Lily off to a nurse, who quickly wiped her down before taking her over to be weighed, measured, and have drops put in her eyes.

“Kate, she’s perfect.”

Once she was out of her mothers’ arms, Lily began crying again. Cries that got louder with every indignity the nurse was putting her through. But once she was swaddled, the crying stopped, and Kate soon found herself with her daughter back in her arms once again. “I take it that she’s staying with you.”

“I’m not letting her out of my sight.”

“We need to bathe her and get her into a diaper. After that, she’s all yours. While she’s gone, Isabelle will help you clean up and get your bed changed.”

“While they’re doing all that, I’ll go tell the family that Lily is here.”

It was another half an hour before Lily was brought back to Kate. By this time, the family had entered the room. “Katie, she’s gorgeous,” Jim kissed the top of Kate’s head. “She looks just like you did when you were born.”

“Dad, would you like to hold your granddaughter?” Kate smiled at her dad.

“I thought you’d never ask,” Jim carefully removed the baby from Kate’s arms and nestled her in the crook of his arm.

Everybody ‘oohed’ and ‘aahed’ over Jim holding the baby. “When are you bringing her home, Kate?” Alexis asked.

“Probably tomorrow.”

“How are you feeling?” Martha asked.

“Better now that she’s out. Now that I know that she’s really okay.”

The rest of the family took turns holding the baby and taking pictures. But they could also see that Kate was starting to tire. Everybody hugged and kissed one more time before leaving the new parents alone with their new baby. “I’m a mom, Castle,” she smiled at him.

“Yes, you are. Now the real adventure begins.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N #3: There will be a short epilogue to wrap everything up. 
> 
> A/N #4: The Bill Cosby/Johnny Bench reference refers to a routine on ‘Bill Cosby: Himself,’ where he’s talking about the birth of one of his children. 
> 
> Follow me:
> 
> Facebook: Wylie.Cindy@Yahoo.com


	16. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N #1: They say that all good things must come to an end. Such is the case for this story. I want to thank everybody for the wonderful reviews; the kind words when I thought a chapter wasn’t as good as it could’ve been and for welcoming me back. I do have another story in the works. However, it is a long story so I’m not sure when it will be completed.

**FULL CIRCLE**

**EPILOGUE**

_May 16, 2017_

Kate unlocked the loft door and stepped inside to the most wonderful sound in the world. The delightful giggles of her four-month-old daughter. “Hey,” Castle looked up from the sofa where he was bouncing Lily, much to his daughter’s obvious delight. “Lily, look who’s home.”

He turned the baby around so she could see her mother. Lily began instantly flailing her arms and chortling in excitement. “Hello, Baby Girl,” Kate dropped her bag on the floor and rushed over to take Lily from her father. “I missed you so much today. Have you and daddy had a good day?”

Lily grinned and placed one tiny hand on Kate’s cheek. Maybe she was prejudiced, but Kate was convinced that she and Castle had produced the most perfect baby ever. She was always happy, crying only when she was very tired or very hungry. She was adored by everybody who came in contact with her. “She helped me get two whole chapters finished today.”

“Wow, that will make Gina very happy. I hope Lily hasn’t replaced me as your muse,” she smiled at him.

“Never,” he stood up and walked over to where she was cradling Lily. “You will always be my muse.”

“You take her while I go and change clothes,” she expertly handed the baby back over to him, smoothing her hand down her back when Lily began to fuss. “I’ll be right back, Sweet Girl.”

Changing clothes, Kate thought back to when they’d been caring for Cosmo. She had made a promise to Castle that she would never leave him to raise their children alone. They made a perfect team with Lily, just as they had with everything else in their relationship. For someone who had been afraid to even hold baby Cosmo, she was all hands-on deck when it came to Lily. She still couldn’t get over how natural everything had come to her from the very first moment she’d held Lily to her chest right after her birth. She couldn’t remember being nervous about any aspect of childcare.

She had returned to work when Lily was three months old, 11 months after the shooting. At first it had been hard leaving the baby alone. She had cried the entire morning her first day back. But several chats with Castle during the course of the day had instantly reassured her that Castle still knew what he was doing, even after 23 years. Lily was well-cared for and, best of all, she was happy. That was all Kate could ever hope for or ask for.

Now their home was a place of organized chaos. Baby toys were everywhere she looked as well as clothes, diapers, every infant gadget imaginable. Walking back through Castle’s office, she almost stepped on one of Lily’s teething rings.

Castle was just placing Lily in her baby swing when Kate walked into the kitchen with the teething ring, washing it in hot water before putting it aside to dry. “I was looking for that earlier.”

“It was in your office.”

“I knew I’d dropped it somewhere.”

After drying her hands, Kate walked back into the living room and scooped Lily up out of her swing before walking over to the couch. “I just put her in that,” Castle protested, sitting beside his wife and baby on the sofa.

“You’ve had Lily all day,” Kate pouted. “Now it’s my turn. I can’t believe how big she’s getting.”

“I know. Soon she’ll be going away to college,” he teased.

“Would you stop? Lily, tell daddy that he’s soooo silly,” she made a face at Lily, who grinned from ear to ear. “A year ago, Castle.”

“I know. I was thinking about that earlier. Not only did we both survive, but we got an incredible bonus,” he touched Lily’s silky dark hair.

“I know I’ve told you this a dozen times but thank you.”

“For what?”

“For this,” she nodded toward Lily, who was now resting her head on her mother’s breast. “I never dreamed that my heart could be this full. Thank you. For loving me and for giving us Lily.”

“Always,” he kissed her, laughing when Lily grabbed his nose.


End file.
